One year ago today, my life changed forever (long)

Hello to all! It has been a while since I have made a formal post here to the boards, but I have been lurking and reading all the while. I take so much inspiration from everyone here through various stages of their journey. It is very humbling to experience the highs and sometimes lows of these rapid life changes but am glad to know I am human and y’all have been there too.

Today marks the day I got on the operating table and changed my life forever!. I truly cannot believe that it has been a year since I joined my fellow comrades on the Loser’s Bench. I started my journey May 18^th, 2008 at 409lbs and weighed this morning at 227 lbs. Over 180 lbs gone from my body in a little over a year’s time and let me tell you how my life has changed. Some of these changes have been wonderful, some have been some of the most painful moments of my life. BUT, those painful moments were NOT caused by the surgery, just have happened to me.

Here are some changes that have happened to me over this past year:

1. I have went from wearing a size 58 dress pant to a size 36 dress pant.

2. I have went from a tight 4X shirt to wearing sometimes a medium, usually a large dress shirt. Neck size on the dress shirts went from 20-22 to 16.

3. I have not shed my CPAP yet as it is kind of a security blanket for me after YEARS of not sleeping, but went from a pressure setting of 15 to 7 and plan to get a sleep study done to see if I need it at all.

4. Blood pressure went from 155/100 to 106/60 at my last DR visit.

5. The comments…OMG I know that those that have lost get these all the time, but one recently floored me. I was in one of my stores working and there was someone in there that I knew from another location. Quite a nice looking younger lady. She is married to the store manager and dropped in to see him. She asked where I was and her husband said…right over there. I was probably 10 feet from her. She rushed over and said, “No way! That is not you Michael. You are so HAWT!" Man, I tell you…HAWT is not a term I would EVER use to describe me and my face turned 5 shades of red, I am sure.

6. Being able to fit in an airline seat and CROSS my legs and have TONS of room.

7. Being able to ride EVERY ride at Valley Fair AND feeling that feeling of flying out of your seat when coming up the hills on roller coasters. HANGING from the restraints on the ship ride. There were some rides in the past I could ride at various weights, but always WEDGED in so never got that “I‘m flying" feeling.

8. Being able to ride my bike again. Something I love.

9. Being able to run. Not that I plan to make running a regular thing of my routine, but I CAN and that counts the most.

10. I have stuck to a workout plan since January. I have exercised daily since then. I don’t do this because I have to, but because I want to.

One huge change that has happened to me is I am no longer partnered to Craig anymore. My relationship of 5 years ended around Easter and it was sudden and unexpected. I have dealt with this and moved on, but man the emotions I had to feel through this instead of stuffing them with food was staggering. I found myself collapsed on the floor twice sobbing, which scared the heck out of me. It is amazing how it feels to have to feel things. But, I came out the other side stronger and more vibrant than ever. I have met someone that I am truly enjoying the company of. I bought a brand new condo and love my new freedom and space. I am going to be ok, believe me.

One thing I did not expect from having RNY was meeting so many wonderful people. I do not know what I would have done over this past year had I not had the people surrounding me that I have met here or at Saturday coffee groups. I have made lasting friendships that I will treasure forever. Thank you all!

Where do I go from here? Well, I have reached my goal I set for myself before I had surgery. I have revised that goal and I wish to lose 30 more lbs and maintain that. My PA would like to see 45 more off, but I am more comfortable with my goal.. I know that these last 30 lbs are going to be the hardest. I also know that if it is going to happen, I am the only one that can make it happen. The honeymoon is over and how I make choices will directly impact my success. I do not expect perfection with myself. I know that life happens and I have and will screw up. I have made many mistakes in my year since surgery, and will admit them. I have chosen to get back on the horse and fight on, one day at a time. All I can say is never give up, never stop coming back to OH.com, never stop reaching out to those who love you and need you on this life long journey, never stop coming to coffee groups. It is when we forget where we were that we are susceptible to going right back where we were. I love my RNY and all it has brought. I am a much better man having gone through this and feel blessed. Thank you all!