HELP! 3 years later

I had my surgery August 1 2006, I have been struggling to keep weight on. I lost too much weight and now I have put on 4 pounds I feel bad but look better.

Except for.....MY SAGGY SKIN! OMG I cannot handle looking at it! It depresses me! Seriously I have tried suicide, please do not judge me but this surgery I lost friends and family and now I cannot even wear short sleeves or shorts and my stomach is gross!

How do I go about finding a surgeon to fix my skin? I had my surgery in LaCrosse WI and was never told how to go about seeing a plastic surgeon.

This can be devistating to me. Please anyone help. I wish Chris Larson was on here cuz I know he would direct me the right way.

I just do not know how to  contact him and am very depressed now that it is warmer and I  cannot even be myself. People call me a skeleton but I am not! I feel ill all the time and just want to stay inside, I do see a psychiatrist. I just need this skin gone! I am afraid what I may do if it cannot get fixed, last time they could not get me to breathe and put me in ICU when I attempted, I am feeling bad and alone and hope someone can help give me some info on how to go about this.

Thank you,

Angel

5 1/2 years out here and have lost too much as well.  Call me skeletor woman.  Iam working on gaining right now.  But I have some other health issues as well.  Please don't try to hurt yourself.  If you need a friendly voice to talk to pm me your phone number or I can pm you mine.

Hi, Angel.    I just want you to know that people you don't even know care about you.  I hear the despair you are voicing, but please, please, please don't hurt yourself!   Try to see yourself as others do, WITH CLOTHES ON AND NOT NAKED!, and know that your excess skin is what you see but not what the world sees.  You can work on gaining weight with a good NUT but you also need to focus now on your inner self and know your value is not just skin deep.   I'm also available to talk if you need to . . . any time, night or day.

Re: finding a surgeon        Do you have insurance?   If so, ask your doc to recommend one, do OH research, go to group.  Your psych guy should be able to verify this is medically necessary to save your life.   If no insurance, the state has some decent plans that could help you.   Do not give up!

Be strong, girlfriend.

Tuna

 

I'd advise counseling, only because I have body image issues like crazy and I know I need counseling BAD for it. I think we run into a lot of issues that doctors don't warn us about after surgery... image issues, skin issues, etc, etc. Good luck to you and we're here to support you!

Thank you all, I DO go to a Psychologist and Psychiatrist. I guess when you attempt suicide it is something you have to do anyway.
I do not know why my outside looks bother me so much but imagine this, after you lose the weight, your mom dies, all 9 of your siblings blame you because you had meddical authority over  her care, I did not wwant it but my mom insisted and also I was the one who took her to the hospital all the time.

Now my family began calling and saying I was ugly and a liar. Telling me they do not care if I am dead and infact they hope I do die. Accuse me of stealing money from my mom when mom had none. They had get togethers and posted them on facebook so I could see that I was not invited, they took my kids and told them lies about me and told them I am psycho...my daughter will not let me see her or my grandkids for over 3 years so I do look on facebook to see if I can get a glimpse at how my angels are growing.

I have been emailed letters from them saying the worst things in the world, one sis said she has the shovel for when I die cause she does not care! The others said I neded to repent! I did nothing wrong! 

Also I have PTSD because my husband of many years killed himself after I left his abusive behnd....I could go on and on but am afraide someone may know me.

All I need to know is this, who do I contact to get skin surgery? I am on MN medical care and they did not blink an eye for the surgery because I have many other medical issues that are not curable.

So I want one thing....to not  have to look into the mirror and see 3 knees on a leg and arms hanging way down and my stomache I have to lift too shower and I barely ca clean my belly button, it stinks and hurts.

So choices for me? Find a doctor or go to peace. I am trying desperately to not do that and I go to see my one doc monday again but I need to get in touch with Chris Larson from Gunderson Lutheran Lacrosse WI or a plastic surgeon? Do  I have to have a referrral?

I thank you all for your concern and it means a lot to me and brought me to tears, but yet reality is mine each and every day. When my daughter sent Christmas gifts that I sent for her and her abusive husband and my grandkids and she did not open it and she wrote return to sender.  So So much more but you all would not believe how bad a family can be so cruel, they picked me, the quiet one who always helped them, I will post a peom or two on my profile on here in a few days. I just really need to resolve this one way or another.

God Bless you all!

Angel

Bless you, too, Angel.   There is no accounting for other people's poor behavior, so all you can do is take care of you for now.   Get a list of plastic surgeons from you PCP, your psych guy, or see if you can get a list from the state.  Then I'd go on line and search the different names and see what former patients had to say about them.  If you are not worried that the surgery will be paid for, you should start researching docs by any means possible.  You can do it!

Tuna

thank you, I will try that. it seems the doctors that did the RNY want nothing to do with me, they will not see me. I think ot is because I lost too much weight and it looks bad for them. I do not live far from Mayo, I may check them out or the U of M. My PCP is talking a reversal or putting a feeding tube in. I do not want the tube because it causes infections. I do not even know if a reversal will work as I can no longer eat sugar and have become lactose intolerant. My psychiatrist will write that it is necessary because of my body image, but not sure if that will help. I have straight medical Assistance. Not sure what doctors take that as they get reimbursed so little. I know for a fact a lot of the reason my family has turned from me is because of my weight, when I had a few more pounds on I was pretty and they were jealous. It had to be because I was and am sti;; the same giving person who puts myself last and does for them and anyone before me, yes at my expense. Just a couple months ago a classmate of mine passed away from complications of an RNY. now my best friend wants one. I am so afraid for her.

but for me I know, one day I will attempt again if I do not get control of my image of my body. But I look in the mirror, have to compromise showers and baths because of the skin and so it is reality.

The psychological pain is so bad, having to go everywhere completley covered and yet my face is so sunken in I get called Achmed the Dead terrorist. I will not stop seeing my counselors, I have been seeing them since abusive hubby killed himself and will continue. I just need to fight and get the surrgery but yet have no more fight in me. Do you know what I mean, weak and sleep all the time, pain and sadness. Deep sadness and i put a smile on for everyone so nobody knows. I am being treated with meds for the depression and anxiety, which I am getting so I go out anywhere less and less. It is like I can feel what my future holds and I do not want that for my kids. the one child I have left who loves me and comes and sees me almost died in a fatal crash and he broke his neck and back, him I want to not to hurt. yet when you get in the moment you do not think of otherss, it is a selfish thing and you just want the pain to stop. that is all it is, everything else is blocked out and you just want it to stop.

Somehow there has to be a starting point for me, some doctor to have a heart so at least I can wear shorts on warm days and not have to blowdry under my tummy so I do not get sores.

I thank you all for your kind words and I will try, I really will. I just cannot keep going downhill or it is inevitable. So tomorrow I begin my journey of looking for surgeons somehow. I will post on the other spot and I will look.  bless you all!

ONE POEM KINDA

 

the look in her eyes

told me what i knew

suicide survivor

the pain in her eyes

mapped out her tragic past

suicide survivor

the tell tale tear tracks

running down her face

suicide surviver

the scars on her wrists

showed her depression

suicide survivor

the uncertainty in her voice

haunts your memory

suicide survivor

every beat of her heart

she wish was her last

suicide survivor

if only you knew

in her mind she is dead

suicide survivor

ANGEL

Wow!  You are so clearly hurting and depressed, I wish I could help.  But honestly, it's not plastic surgery that you need, it's intensive therapy. 

Everyone who has WLS has body image issues, and most surgeons take a great deal of care to do the surgery on people who are relatively healthy psychologically, because it is such an emotionally fraught journey.  The most important thing for you is to find a way to LOVE and ACCEPT yourself as you are--you are a good and valuable person.  You need to believe it yourself instead of letting your family continue to hurt you.

Overeating to obesity is one way to punish and hate yourself; undereating to emaciation is another way to punish and hate yourself.  Plastic surgery because you can't stand your body is another way to punish and hate yourself--do you see how all these are related? 

People care about you--WE care about you!!  I hope you can find a way to care about yourself and find peace.  Can you come to Saturday support group south of the Cities sometime?  It is such a supportive group!  If not, seek out a support group near you.  Bless you!

You really need to get your depression under control before you get any more surgeries. Plastic surgery doesn't just magically make your body into a model....You'll still have issues with it. Get your depression in check first and maybe some body image therapy before going into plastics. You need to be 100% healthy for that!

I have a few ideas .....Can you call your surgeons office for a recommendation for a plastic surgeon? 
You could call the University of Mn and make an appt to see a plastic surgeon there.   
You could also create another post for the message board and title it something like Need Plastic Surgeon recommendations, and I am sure you will have people respond with ideas and you can start calling around.
have a look at http://www.plasticsurgery.org/, it's the website for The American Society of Plastic Surgeons, you can search for drs by state.

If I were you, I'd keep up with the counseling, it will help you a great deal, because I think even with the skin gone, you still will have have issues about the way you look.