2 Years Later...
I really wasn't sure if I should share this or not, I just have a hard time putting events into words sometimes, but I think it is one of those things along this journey, that you can sometimes overlook. So I'll try to explain.
Two years ago, I posted this on my profile here on OH:
on July 2, 2007 10:27 am
Published
We had a weekend BBQ in our neighborhood for the 4th and why I go is beyond me. The host is a complete jacka** in my opinion yet has the nicest wife - go figure. He always has to ask me if I'm pregnant every time he sees me. Seriously, can't he get a clue?! My answer is always 'no' and wouldn't you think he'd figure it out that if my answer is always 'no', I'm the first person to know I have a weight problem. Why he has to do this in front of the other neighbors all the time is beyond me but it just proves my theory that he's a jacka**. It just shows how cruel some people can be whether they realize it or not. My hubby says not to get so worked up about it, but how can I not? It is so insensitive that I can't stand it. The hurt is there no matter what. I thought long and hard about posting about this, but when my surgery happens, I want to look back and know what I've gone through was worth the wait. Open enrollment in January cannot come fast enough but it is making me want it even more, so that is a positive thing. It's hard to be patient when you've made a life changing decision that is for sure!
Well, fast-forward to June 27, 2009. Same party, same neighbors, but I'm down 90 pounds. The host that I referred to above was kind to me, he did not say one negative thing to me. He knows I had weight loss surgery and actually asked how I was doing. Then later on that night, he came up behind me and put his hands around my waist. I honestly thought it was my husband at first. Then I noticed it was him and I tried to act all cool like "Hey, keep your hands off the goods man!" and he just starts laughing. He's like "Yeah, well I just didn't want to knock ya over, you might have fallen into the bonfire." And it took me a while to digest all this to be honest. First of all, the man has never said one nice thing to me. It's just the way he is. Secondly, was I right in my thinking that he was afraid he might actually knock ME over now? So I talked it over with my hubby and he said "look, you've got your curves back and your bones are showing, and yeah, (neighbor) probably meant that he could knock you over now".
This is a wild ride peeps! It never ceases to amaze me.
I feel better health wise and I know my clothes are smaller, but I still see the fat arms, the fat legs, and the stomach apron. THAT is what keeps my head spinning. I can hide it well under clothes, but the naked truth is that it's still there. Acceptance is coming, it's just a slow process...
6 months later and 90 pounds gone. It IS amazing. I just have to remember that and I challenge you all to do the same.
Two years ago, I posted this on my profile here on OH:
on July 2, 2007 10:27 am
Published
We had a weekend BBQ in our neighborhood for the 4th and why I go is beyond me. The host is a complete jacka** in my opinion yet has the nicest wife - go figure. He always has to ask me if I'm pregnant every time he sees me. Seriously, can't he get a clue?! My answer is always 'no' and wouldn't you think he'd figure it out that if my answer is always 'no', I'm the first person to know I have a weight problem. Why he has to do this in front of the other neighbors all the time is beyond me but it just proves my theory that he's a jacka**. It just shows how cruel some people can be whether they realize it or not. My hubby says not to get so worked up about it, but how can I not? It is so insensitive that I can't stand it. The hurt is there no matter what. I thought long and hard about posting about this, but when my surgery happens, I want to look back and know what I've gone through was worth the wait. Open enrollment in January cannot come fast enough but it is making me want it even more, so that is a positive thing. It's hard to be patient when you've made a life changing decision that is for sure!
Well, fast-forward to June 27, 2009. Same party, same neighbors, but I'm down 90 pounds. The host that I referred to above was kind to me, he did not say one negative thing to me. He knows I had weight loss surgery and actually asked how I was doing. Then later on that night, he came up behind me and put his hands around my waist. I honestly thought it was my husband at first. Then I noticed it was him and I tried to act all cool like "Hey, keep your hands off the goods man!" and he just starts laughing. He's like "Yeah, well I just didn't want to knock ya over, you might have fallen into the bonfire." And it took me a while to digest all this to be honest. First of all, the man has never said one nice thing to me. It's just the way he is. Secondly, was I right in my thinking that he was afraid he might actually knock ME over now? So I talked it over with my hubby and he said "look, you've got your curves back and your bones are showing, and yeah, (neighbor) probably meant that he could knock you over now".
This is a wild ride peeps! It never ceases to amaze me.
I feel better health wise and I know my clothes are smaller, but I still see the fat arms, the fat legs, and the stomach apron. THAT is what keeps my head spinning. I can hide it well under clothes, but the naked truth is that it's still there. Acceptance is coming, it's just a slow process...
6 months later and 90 pounds gone. It IS amazing. I just have to remember that and I challenge you all to do the same.
Amy, I SOOOO wish I would have read your first post back then - I'd have had a few choice suggestions for comebacks to the jackass. Like "Seriously? Are you extremely rude intentionally, or are you actually that STUPID?" And I'd have said it loud enough for everyone to hear it, too.
His actions of this past weekend just PROVE he's a jackass, through and through. To feel it was within his rights to TOUCH you, much less in the way he did, now that you're thinner? **** me off...
Yes, in a way it's flattering, and I suppose for one's peace of mind, you should always LOOK FOR the positive. But dang... Lucky for you, your hubby doesn't appear to be the type to flatten said jackass.
His actions of this past weekend just PROVE he's a jackass, through and through. To feel it was within his rights to TOUCH you, much less in the way he did, now that you're thinner? **** me off...
Yes, in a way it's flattering, and I suppose for one's peace of mind, you should always LOOK FOR the positive. But dang... Lucky for you, your hubby doesn't appear to be the type to flatten said jackass.
Imperfect does not = unsuccessful
Amy:
Your neighbor has a serious case of persistent horsesassitosis! As for you, most people only see the positive changes in your appearance rather than the things that still bother you. You are a seriously beautiful woman, inside and out, and no amount of bothersome sagginess or roundness can take that away from you. Accepting your new physical self is a slow process, but it will happen in time. Until then, keep in mind that others already see you in the positive way you want to see yourself.
RP
Your neighbor has a serious case of persistent horsesassitosis! As for you, most people only see the positive changes in your appearance rather than the things that still bother you. You are a seriously beautiful woman, inside and out, and no amount of bothersome sagginess or roundness can take that away from you. Accepting your new physical self is a slow process, but it will happen in time. Until then, keep in mind that others already see you in the positive way you want to see yourself.
RP
(deactivated member)
on 7/1/09 4:52 am - MN
on 7/1/09 4:52 am - MN
THANK YOU for sharing! I think this is a great example of why WLS is not the easy way out. This isn't just about losing weight - sure that feels great, we look great (or at least better) and we get lots of positive comments. However, there is another side to losing a drastic amount of weight AND there's another side to the humiliation of being over weight and people out there that are extremely insensitive.
The other thing that I take from your post is that even if we aren't where we want to be...God knows I'd love to be a super model...I mean a size 16, the fact is that I'm healthier and still weigh a LOT less than I once used to. I need to be content with who I am - what's left on my body are the war wounds endured from years and years of obesity. Although I do have to admit that there are days lately that I wish I could still take my fat suit (real & imagined) off, but hey, this is me - love it or leave it!
See ya tonight gorgeous!
Love this post! THanks so much for sharing!
Thanks for sharing! It never ceases to amaze me the audacity that some people have. I really believe that some people are completely clueless that there comments actually hurt, then there are others who enjoy making comments that hurt. Either way, their are certain experiences in my life that I will never forget and the people who have made comments about my weight that I have actually lost respect for. Regardless of how you think you look, you are beautiful and the only person *****ally sees the imperfections from WLS is you. You can overcome this too. Way to go girl and thanks so much for sharing!
Thanks for sharing. People can be so rediculous sometimes. I myself get to run into my husbands friend who tells me I am smokin' hot, after making fun of me behind my back for years. * UGH*
Acceptance is coming..takes time. It's tough to feel great and look good clothed, but deal with the stuff going on under the clothes. But put me back to last year?? No way in hell ! I will figure out a way to deal with the saggy skin I guess.
You look gorgeous...but then again, you always were.
Take care,
Natalie
Acceptance is coming..takes time. It's tough to feel great and look good clothed, but deal with the stuff going on under the clothes. But put me back to last year?? No way in hell ! I will figure out a way to deal with the saggy skin I guess.
You look gorgeous...but then again, you always were.
Take care,
Natalie
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