How has WLS and the WL changed your personality?

I have been contemplating WLS for two years now.  I am just about to the point of submitting for insurance approval.  I am not worried about being approved.  What is concerning me is how I might change after WLS.  I know everyone is different, but am very curious to know what you all have experienced.  You see, I like who I am as a person.  I am very much an extrovert and am very comfortable in most social cir****tances.  I am slightly vain and try to look my best when I leave the house.  I am doing the WLS because I want to be healthy and to not feel restricted in my activities.  I am also the mother of 2 small children and I want to live a long life with them and my husband.  I also want to serve as a good role model for healthy choices to my children.  What I DON'T want is to become some seriously vain and self-centered person.  Is this a valid fear???  How have YOU changed since WLS?  Thanks for any input. 


Dianne

You sound a lot like me - like you haven't let your obesity define you too much.  Active, lots of friends, do the best you can with what you have to look your best, yada yada yada...  And I think I've been pretty true to myself since WLS. 

Not that things haven't changed - I made a commitment to myself to attend support groups for the rest of my life - NOT just until I lost the weight.  I've attended coffees religiously, and as a result of these committments, I have made some of the most awesome friends I've ever imagined!  And we do LOTS and LOTS of fun things with each other.  So one of the biggest changes/adjustments I've had to navigate is finding enough hours in a week to spend with my "former fatties", while not allowing my family to feel neglected.  THAT has been a bit of a balancing act.  Sometimes my family suffers, sometimes I have to NOT do things with my GFs that I'd really like to, in order to give that time to my family.

But it's all worth it, to have the health, the energy, the wardrobe, and especially the FRIENDSHIPS that are so near and dear to me!

I do know that a lot of people struggle a great deal with feeling more worthwhile, when they have a SO who is spoiled by always having their way, being accomodated.  It causes conflict, so don't kid yourself - you might experience some of that.  Just be open, be honest, and be willing to tuck your tail between your legs if your SOs point out to you some behavior they're having a hard time dealing with.   Be understanding, not defensive. 

It's a ride, that's a fact.

For me I think being really really fat covered up my true personality.  It wasn't until I shed a few pounds that I saw my self esteem and humor return.  In many ways I was like a stone sculpture before the sculptor got a hold of me.  Little by little I'm changing and I like what I see.

The bottom line is that you are always in control of you.  Don't be surprised if the CHANGES you see in personality are more visible in those around you rather than yourself.

Paul

I have changed.....I have more self esteem, I do activities now, and I have made awesome friends......My health is at it's best.....

The downside has been how it has effected my marriage......I get a lot of male attention, and that has been hard on both of us.....I have to balance Family & Friendship, I really never had friends before so I really like to spend time with all these wonderful people I've met. Also with the marriage issues, I've had to go on Celexa a depression pill.

I'm still trying to FIND myself, still trying to see what others see, I still see a fat person.

I would do this all over in a heartbeat......

Good luck to you.....Kelly

Piggybacking, I agree that it's not so much that we change...we uncover people we'd suppressed to a certain extent.  I know I took a lot more risks (& feel I was taken more seriously) after WLS after the subconscious fear of people thinking "she's doing that because she's fat & desprate so we're not going to pay her any attention".   WLS really erased any fear of rejection I might have had.

I think it's valid, yes - to be aware of it.

However, it doesn't have to define you. Be who you are and don't blame it on the weight loss. You can still be you, but without the attitude that may or may not come. Just keep it in check.

I have become self-focused to a noticeably greater extent than I was before.  I work very hard to take care of myself physically and emotionally.  I think I have to do that in order to survive and thrive as a thinner person.  Sometimes I do go too far with that, but going a little too far seems better than not going far enough and lapsing into old habits.  I have found myself to actually be selfish once in awhile and I have had to dial it back.  My point is that it takes time and vigilance to find and maintain a balance point in your life that allows you to be healthy and happy.

I am more self-confident and somewhat more outgoing than I used to be.  I have greater expectations of myself and the other people in my life.    I feel better overall than I have in 20 years.  The hardest thing has been trying to figure out who I am in this new body.  How you perceive yourself and how others perceive you changes....pretty dramatically in my own experience.  Adjusting to more attention from the opposite sex while having changed expectations at home can leave you pretty bewildered sometimes.

Despite the risks involved in surgery and having to face difficult emotional issues that I had avoided for most of my life, I would make the same decision again to have WLS.

Good luck,

RP

Hi Dianne,

All I can say is THANK GOD for Gastric Bypass surgery!!! 

The ONLY regret I have is that I didn't pursue the surgery two to four years earlier than I did.  This is a double edged sword in the sense that the "state of the art" of WLS keeps getting better and our surgeons in Minnesota keep getting more experienced.

There are so many, many things that I could elaborate on regarding how my WLS has changed my life.  In short, I truly feel like I am "back in the game" of life again!

On another positive note, we have a ROCKSTAR support board for Minnesota on OH.  I recommend that you get as involved as you can as soon as you can.  I really didn't start leveraging the power of the wonderful, caring people on this board until after I was approved for my WLS by BCBS of MN and was about to embark on the odyssey known as the liquid pre-op diet.  I wish I had been involved much sooner and starting going to the MG Coffee sooner.  Oh well, it's all good!

Good luck with your Journey Dianne!

Alan