Judge Not, Lest Ye Be Judged

Judge Not, Lest Ye Be Judged

 

Lately I have become increasingly frustrated with some people here on OH because they judge their fellow travelers on this journey in the absence of enough insight or information to be able to make such judgments unerringly.  For some, the greatest challenge is to get their insurance company to pay for their surgery.  For others, physical complications dog them, sometimes for years.  There are others, like me, who have found the emotional part of this journey to be the most difficult thing they have ever faced.  While I am usually capable of rational thought and translating those thoughts into words that others can relate to, my emotions and self-control are not always in check and I sometimes behave irrationally, foolishly, or recklessly, for which I later feel both embarrassment and shame, especially if what I have done hurts someone else.

 

I have come to accept that my tendency to occasionally lose my grip on good sense and behavior as something I need to address through ongoing therapy and the implementation of different coping skills than I employed in the past.  I don’t have all my **** together all of the time.  Some days I don’t have my **** together in the least and I feel real fear for what havoc my restless, sometimes irrational mind might cause for me, my family and my friends.  However, this post is not an apologia for what I have done or might do in the future.  Rather it is to point out that there are many here who are struggling to find themselves and/or are trying to re-establish a new grip on life in their post-WLS altered state of mind.  Writing helps me cope.  I choose to post things here and sometimes what I post only makes sense to me.  So what?! Others find meaning and emotional traction in describing how they exercise, what they plan to eat, in discussing what music or books help them cope, or in having the courage to seek reassurance from all of us.  Let them be, even if it doesn’t seem relevant to you.  We must choose to be gentle with one another here, to keep our judgments to ourselves if this forum is to have any real value.  In the end, it is God’s job to judge, not ours.

 

RP

Wow I totally agree with ya.  I have been upset that one of my friends on here is struggling and needs help just to get bashed in the face.  I don't understand NOT everything needs to be weight loss related.  I thought we were suppose to be family here to come here for what ever support it is.  People just get to fricken picky and hurt other people, maybe not even knowingly that they do it.  I feel if you need to vent on what ever, need support for what ever reason, we should be here for that person.  Going through weight loss surgery not everyone has the family support at home and can't turn to that person and comes here.  I didn't know my life would change as much as it did either losing the weight isn't the only part to this journey there is alot of baggage that comes with it like it or not.  I have been quiet on here for a long time due to I might **** some picky person off by not writing the right thing or what ever.  This board should be for who ever needs it no matter what the issue it all comes back to weight loss related anyway the ups and downs, the WOW's, the holy craps what did I do,  Afterall we are family and if support is what you need then support you will get no matter what this issue...............

As always... Amazingly said. 

There are alot of days when things posted just don't pertain to me or I have nothing of value to say back.  So I just "lurk" I think thats what they call it?!   I do not think people are strange, onnoying or otherwise.  This is a public forum for us all to help each other. 

Rick, as soon as I am up to hugging.... I think you are going to be one of my first!

How are you doing????????  I hope you are doing good........

As someone who has probably been here the longest now - (6-7 years?) although no one has met me in person - you said (much more eloquently I might add) what I was thinking. 

The Board goes through phases of ups and downs...people get pissed and leave, fight, cry, ***** come back, complain, rant, move on....the Board really is a living thing of sorts full of different personalities and people.  There are alot of posts that are not relevant to me, especially being the old timer that I am.  I post when I feel I have something to add or comment on here or there.  Otherwise I just read or scan some that interests me and remain a lurker.  I shake my head sometimes on what I read...but - as we all know - this is a public board and you will read a lot of stuff without knowing the person's real intent.  You can't "hear" them - they could be teasing, or just cranky - or a whack job -  whatever.

So when the Board "groans" and things shake up....hang on....it will settle down again. 

Jus****ch and wait. 

All will be well.

RP,



Kelly

I have a feeling I may have missed something on the boards not having read every post lately ....but I think I understand the point you are making.  I agree with you Rick not everything on this board is going to be WLS related or releavant to everyone.   I feel this should be a place where anyone should feel free to post what is on their mind; it may start a conversation and others may learn from what  is said.   As readers we can choose to participate in the discussion or move on to the next post.  I hope this is a place where everyone feels free to join in on the conversation. 

I think you also need to add that people should not ASSume, for they often times make an ASS out of themselves.

As for the judgment, I cannot agree with you more, for that is my belief as well.

Rick,

So well written and I couldn't agree more.  People need to get used to the feature here that allows you to simply back out of a post and move on if one is not inspired.  We are all here for support and I just don't get why sometimes things need to go so sour.  But, that is the nature of the beast!  I try to be as upbeat and positive as I can because it helps others and, in the long run, it helps me be a better person. 

I am just so grateful for all the support I have received from the boards and from all of the awesome people that I have met through this journey.  It is quite emotional for me to think about where I was and where I am now and I am so thankful.  Every day is a gift and should not be taken for granted.  Peace!