Who Are You?
Who Are You?
The Who came out with a song by that title the year I graduated from high school. I heard a snippet of it as I started my lunchtime walk today and it is still rattling in my head. The fact is that damned question has been haunting me for the past several months. For a while I wanted a clear answer to the question so I could feel a little more grounded. Lately, though, I have embraced the idea of exploring my inner workings and outer interests to gain some perspective before deciding on what it means to be the new me. Given how restless I have been, I don’t suppose I really had any other choice to make that would stick.
I do know that I want to let myself feel everything, good and bad, in such a way that my experiences are unsullied by self-doubt, carbohydrate comas, or the limitations imposed by others. I realize that my actions in response to those feelings will have to be tempered by good sense (to the extent I have any) and the need for self-preservation, as well as being passably considerate of others. Since my actions so far this year haven’t all been rational, this should prove to be interesting.
I also know that I want to continue to make mostly healthy food choices and be very physically active. A good diet, coupled with walking, biking, hiking, canoeing, kayaking, snowshoeing, cross-country skiing, etc. makes me feel healthy and energetic. I don’t want to lose that sense of well being again.
I have begun to think that I am a bit of a wanderer at heart. I do want to see more places and meet more people in the decades I have left (hopefully). I will have to find a practical way to make that happen, if that is truly something I want to do. The implications of being a wanderer are many; holding a steady job is obviously a problem as are maintaining the stability of relationships and avoiding abject poverty. I don’t want to be a hobo, so I will have to find the proper balance between wanting to wander and maintaining the rest of my life. That should prove to be interesting too.
In any event, rather than being so frustrated with not being able to figure out who I am right now, I plan to enjoy this journey of self-discovery in the months ahead.
RP
