Really Sad

I'm sitting at my desk in tears right now because for the 4th time in the last few months someone has asked once again when am I due.   What is wrong with me that I look pregnant I can't figure it out!!!  I've lost 130+lbs so I do have some extra skin but I wear shapeware and I'm not wearing anything tight.   I'm at the lightest I've been in over 10 years but I feel like crap.  I know I shouldn't let this get me down but it does.  I wish I could see what others see when I look in the mirror. 

Oh Honey I'm sorry this is happening for you!  I looked at your pics and although they are all face shots you look great and have come SOOOO far!  Don't quit girlfriend!

Everyone carries their weight different.  I'm a little afraid of the same thing - I carried 90% of my weight in my front - no ass as far as I can tell and I know when I lose my front will be the last to go so I'm wondering if I will have the same issue.

How are you responding to these people?

I would say something like "huh, are you sure I'm pregnant?" and if they say "well no" then you respond with "last time I checked I didn't think it was appropriate to comment on someones midsection if you weren't sure." "Maybe I'm wrong but I think it's pretty tacky" - then just turn around and ignore them and if they same I'm sorry say apology accepted and don't ever assume this again for anyone.  I think they will learn their lesson by the hurt they caused you.

Good luck hun!  Keep fighting the good fight!
Sal

Kathy:

I have met you in person on more than one occasion and you don't look pregnant.  There is a glow of health and calmness about you that some might mistake for the look of being pregnant.  I really can't imagine why else anyone would assume that you were pregnant based on your shape.    As Sal says, hang in there and ignore or correct the rude people who believe it is their place to question you about being pregnant.

RP

Seriously?!
Well, tell them to get their vision checked!

Hey, wear some bust enhancing shirts! That'll teach 'em! hehee At least then they'll be looking at your ta-ta's & not your belly. LOL

Are these people crazy?? or blind?? or jealous??  I've seen you in person also and you DO NOT look pregnant.  I think they might be sensing your sensitivity and just trying to push your buttons.  You look beautiful.  I met you at the Maple Grove coffee and I remember checking out your before pics on line the next week.  I couldn't believe you were the same person.  Don't let them mess with your head.  You look great! ! ! 

Thanks everyone for the encouragement.  I felt so down this weekend but TRYING not to let it get to me.   The past few months I haven't followed a lot of the rules and I feel like I've fallen off the wagon so maybe i'm looking a little puffy and people are interepting that has pregnant.  OR maybe it just the way I carry my body having been overweight most of my life maybe I still carry myself like i have more weight than I do. 

I don't know about you, but I also wore clothes that were baggy for a while because I didn't get that I was smaller.  Some of it was financial - I just couldn't keep buying more and more clothes, but some of it was psychological - I didn't always buy or wear clothes that fit my smaller body.  Could that be part of it?  I'm just sorry you keep getting asked this - it is terribly rude, and I know people screw up sometimes, but it seems like this happens more than it should!  Hopefully you've heard the last of it!

Kathy,

I think the FIRST thing you have to do is give yourself a daily dose of positive self-talk!  Look at your before picture - keep it on the mirror in your bathroom if you must, and remind yourself of HOW FRIGGIN' FAR you have come!!!  YOU KNOW you have lost a whole person - OWN THAT!

Second thing is to remind yourself as often as necessary - "You Can't Fix Stupid".  You really can't.  I could come here every day with a fresh example of that.

Thirdly, come up with a response that takes the high road AND gives the stupid person a little bit of their own medicine.   Sal gave you some good options - I'm blank at the moment (I'm usually pretty good at this, but it's Monday morning and my brain is still in Sunday mode.  I'll edit when the inspiration hits, K?)

Biggest thing is to have the self-confidence to know how far you've come, and to realize that the people making these meat-headed comments are seriously lacking in inter-personal skills.  And brains.  YOU'VE got plenty of both!!

Since the stupid person is not someone you could care less about, you could just say back "what makes you ask a question like that?"  Then they are forced to either "get it right away" or stammer on with why they think so.  While they are stammering, just stare right at them with no expression.
The worst part of the situation is already over, you may as well have some fun.

Or, if you ever get asked again, say "you first"

Well Kathy, I said it before, I think you are a hottie.  There will aways be stupid. 

This morning I saw a co-worker who looked like she was about 6 months pregnent.  It was OBVIOUS to me that she was...the way she walked, the clothes, etc.  But did I say something about it to her?  NOT A CHANCE.  I asked someone else first.  Some peeps have no social filter whatsover.  It is NOT your problem. (Thank God for that)

P

So sorry you're getting this question! Darla is right - YOU CAN'T FIX STUPID!!! Maybe your response should be, "Well if I'm pregnant, then you're stupid!" I don't know, I'm sure there's something more tactful to say, but wouldn't ya love to come up with somehting that would make them feel as stupid as they sound???

I looked up some responses you could use on Google and here's a good one!

"It seems like you would be the first to know - Never. To. Ask. That. Question."


Take care, keep your chin up and ignore the stupidty!  Oh, and to go along with Darla's saying, I found my favorite word of all times.. STUPIDIOTIC!  That name seems fitting for those doodoo birds asking you that question!