Improved Self-Confidence [Beware of Rant]

There is nothing easy about going through weight-loss surgey-- I knew this going into it.  I've surrounded myself with people who are supportive and just as excited about my success as I am. 

After a long day of errand-running, grocery shopping and taxi servicing, I went out and got my hair cut and styled, something I haven't done in several months, and, as almost anyone can attest, I was feeling pretty good about myself.  I'm wearing clothing four sizes smaller than I was seven weeks ago, and I have seen such a huge difference in my face and hands already and there's a nice little ego stroke that goes along with noticing things like this--anyone else feel the same?

Anyway, the entire point for my post here is I got a slap in the face by the last person I expected-- my mom.  She, my step-sister and I were all giggling and listening to the radio and chatting when she made a comment that I was obviously feeling good lately.  I agreed and she told me that I needed to share the wealth, and compliment other people more-- make sure other people felt good about themselves before I did. 

I've waited my whole life to start feeling comfortable with myself, to start feeling good about the way I look and then to hear this, I feel kind of deflated now.  I'm angry that she, of all people, could tear me down like that and I feel like I've gone back to the fat girl who is held back because she's insecure about her body.  I don't like feeling this way, and it really frustrates me that just a few words can bring me back here.

Thanks for letting me vent, all.  I kind of just want to take some tylenol and curl up into a little ball.

I think a lot of people have a hard time being around someone who was so self conscious before and all of a sudden feeling great about themselves. I personally think its them starting to feel insecure with who they are. I haven't even had the surgery yet, I'm just on the liquid diet and have lost 25 pounds and notice people make little comments like that to try to bring me down or feel bad but yet still act like they are joking. For the first time in my life I'm putting myself first and if that makes other people insecure well then they have bigger issues to deal with. Cheer up! You should be proud of yourself and all that you have accomplished, don't let it get to you.

PLEASE, PLEASE don't let your mom take you out of that great moment!  Down FOUR sizes in seven weeks - that's FANTASTIC!!  Obviously she's not feeling good about herself or she wouldn't try to take you down.  You know you've worked really hard for what you've done and you deserve to be happy and feel good about yourself!  I hope you are able to talk to her and tell her how much that hurt. 

I know I'd have a hard time if my mom said something like that.  She's a very negative person and I used to let whatever she said to me bother me, now, I just write it off as her way of trying to make me as miserable as she is. 

Hang in there - you are doing great!!

Therese said it perfecty!  Don't let her take you joy away!   Wa**** off and feel fabulous!!!!   

Perhaps she wasn't tearing you down. I'd look at her statement as not a statement of how she feels about YOU... but a statement of how she feels about HERSELF. Perhaps she is insecure about herself and all she was saying is that SHE needs compliments. That way it turns it around... and is probably more true anyway. Most people make statements like that because of their own issues.

Holy Mary Mother of God! Are you kidding me???

Oh please take Elena's advice because I get just irrate when people say stupid things. So I've got nothing good to say right now, but HOLD YOUR HEAD HIGH because you SHOULD feel good for once!!!

(((Hugs to you)))

It's really easy, second nature even, for us to take things negatively.  We're used to being teased or discriminated against in many ways, for a long time.  And being post-op, you have the added dose of hormones running rampant through your body, making you much more sensitive to anger and hurt than would even be normal!

It's a lot healthier for us, mentally, if we can TRY to look at things in a positive light.  A lot of our family members have had a certain amount of fear that as we lose weight, we'll become arrogant.  Perhaps your mother was just trying to gently remind you not to let that happen?  Or giving you some version of the "do unto others as you'd have them do unto you" lecture?  Maybe she WAS trying to make herself feel better, especially if she has any issues with her weight, or if your sister does. 

Try to look at it this way.  She didn't say anything NEGATIVE to you about your progress, or how you look or feel - she acknowledged your happy mood!  And you DESERVE to feel happy, and proud, and GOOD!  It takes effort, but it's well worth it to TRY NOT TO LET PEOPLE GET YOU DOWN!   Now is your time to feel good about YOU!   Decide you won't allow negativity, real, implied or imagined, get you down!  You worked HARD to get where you are today, and where you are headed on your WLS journey - you deserve to be HAPPY!!!!