Friend got turned down

A gal I met at our "nut sessions" just called me crying.  Mayo turned her down due to her psch evaluations.  They suggested she try elsewhere.   Now I don't know if these were their exact words but I am in shock.  Now she is upset that I got approved for November 6, as we kind of thought we'd be doing this together.  Anyone got any ideas- She is on Medicaid.   Thanks,  Jan

Hi! Sorry your friend has to go thru this but let me share some insight:
I had my psych eval and he passed me.  5 months after surgery I was having a nervous break down.  I got from a friend a number to go to Lana Boutacoff. She evaluated me and looked at the MMPI and what the prevous psych said about the visit.  I then learned that I had NUMEROUS red flags on the MMPI and eval.  In other words, I should have not had surgery until extensive therapy was completed. 
There were issues in my past that I thought had been resolved until the weight started to come off.  The emotional part of the journey with certain people can send you into a tail spin.
SO, she isn't never going to have the surgery, she just needs more time to prepare, have therapy, ect. I know that this info may be a hard pill to swallow but I just wanted to share my experience, my knowledge(being nearly 2yrs out) and do it in a WELL meaning, LOVING and CARING way(I hope you take it that way!).
HUGS

Sandy, I did take it a well meaning, loving and caring way.  I am at a loss for words for her as she is taking it really bad.  Now I am feeling guilty because I will be having surgery and she won't.  Thank you for your input.  God Bless-  Jan

Don't feel guilty!!!  Her time WILL come! With you going first it could be a GREAT blessing and help for when she DOES have it! Support her and encourage her to seek out why the therapist turned her down and then go from there.......sometimes it's just a matter of a few appointments and/or follow up visits.   What a great friend you are!  Give her a hug from me!
Hugs

Thanks again Sandie.  I was just looking at your avatar and thinking a person after my own heart, an animal lover-  I have two doxies and a cat.   They console me when I am feeling down. 
You are right, she should find out why the therapist turned her down.  thanks again

I work for MN Medicaid; and her next step would be to contact the appeals and regulation office @ 651-431-3581 and if she has managed care she needs to call the Managed Care Ombudsman office @ 651-431-2660 or 800-657-3729.

Hi Tammy, I will give her these numbers (she does not have a computer).    If Mayo turned her down, why is she calling this MN Medicaid ?  I don't understand.  Thanks   Jan

Jan:

I totally agree with Sandie that it would be in your friend's best interest to get any major psychological issues figured out prior to surgery.  When I decided that I wanted to have surgery, my biggest worry was the psych evaluation, given my past issues with depression.   The psych evaluation turned out OK, but I was still apprehensive about the possibility that my depression issues would find me during my WLS journey.  Accordingly, I decided to see a bariatric psychologist once a month until I was at least a year out.  She and some of my supportive friends here on OH have really helped me this past month when I once again felt the downward pull of depression starting.  Their support and coping skills I learned in the past got me back to a good place.  Without those coping skills, I am not sure if I would have bounced back so quickly. 

Your friend needs to realize that the hardest part of this journey for many people, including me, is the emotional part, not the physical discipline of watching what you eat, portions, water, supplements and exercise.  If she has some potential emotional weaknesses, she will be glad in the long run that she addressed them, at least to some meaningful degree, prior to surgery.  Some folks are quite resistant to the idea of therapy.  I was and wasted two unnecessary  years of my life being miserable and depressed.  I guess it took me that long to pull my stubborn male head out of my arse.  Anyway, please feel free to PM me if you or she want to have a more private discussion.

Good luck,

RP

P.S.  We have two miniature dachsunds, a golden retreiver and three cats

RP-  I printed all this out for my friend and hope she takes some of this great advice.  I am not familiar with her psch evaluations and what happened, but it is to her advantage to find out now like you said rather than later.   I keep telling her what a bunch of great people are on this site and how if anyone has any questions, someone is always there with an answer/opinion/advice.
Thank you RP and with a family of 6 - 4 legged friends, I know you must be a great guy.  Do your dachsunds and cats love to play with each other?  Mine 'wrestle' with each other, and the cat is always the winner.  Needless to say, my cat takes after me-   a little on the 'big' side.  God Bless, Jan

Jan:

Our youngest cat loves to pounce on the dachsunds, if they don't outrun him first...our female doxie is the fastest little dog I have ever seen.  The other two cats were around for more than 10 years before the dachsunds, so they aren't any fun at all.

RP