Too much thinking...

...but it really seems that this board has gone a different direction. When I signed on a year+ ago, it was everyone asking questions about their surgery type (or the differences of each type), questions about the post op habits, any problems encountered,, transfer addiction issues, recipes to share, WOW moments - no matter how individual they were, monthly progress pics, etc.

I know there's a season of change as people gain back their lives with the weight loss, etc. and that is the BEST but it's also nice to hear from the vets out there once in a while as they have the future vision some of the newbies need.

And the newbies aren't asking questions like they used to. Is it because more and more are doing research ahead of time. I'm not sure. But I'm curious tp know. How'd they find out about OH? What are they hoping to gain from being here? What do they feel like sharing about? What kind of questions do they have? What stage are they at in the process? etc.

What are your thoughts? Let's share and see if we can gain back some of the board it used to be.

I know that the focus of the board has changed.  I think it is a combination of reasons why this happened. 

First, the weather is beautiful!  Many of us took time off to have vacation while the kids were out of school.  The kids going back to school also eats up my time.  And I know for me,, personally, the kids are summer and fall sports players.  So I'm often not at home.

The other thing that is happening is that we are reaching out and asking for support in a different way.  There have been a number of WLS patient who have developed friendships.  And I know that when I have a question, it is easier for me to just call someone.  I'm thinking this happens every year.  You bond before surgery; you meet for coffee; you meet a lot of great people; you spend time together outside of the boards and coffees.  And because we have more confidence in ourselves, we get out more often with these same friends. 

I wouldn't be honest if I didn't say that sometimes the atmosphere of others disagreeing about non-WLS items tends to get a little out of hand.  I don't personally agree with silly arguments becoming open to everyone else.  That is very, very childish.  I choose to keep my personal lfe of the boards to a point.  Others feel comfortable enough to share details of their life at major turning points in their life.  I can't speak for everyone, but it just isn't my style. 

Unless I know the person pretty well, I won't  read .OT posts that seem rather personal.  That is my choice.  We all have the freedom to speak our minds.  We also have the right to post whatever we want.  And sometimes that means that when we have significant life events, people reach out to their online friends. And just like going to a clinic support group, some share things that relate to their lives - not necessarily WLS.  We don't have to look at every post.  That is the great part about the whole computer generation.  We have a choice what to read, stop reading when I choose, and a right to ignore some of the posts.

I don't think (at least I hope) that newbies aren't posting because of the content of boards.  I think people are enjoying the weather and taking time doing fun things - even pre WLS patients.  I know that I started looking on the boards in the winter.  And many, many WLS choose to have surgery in the winter.  Just my opinion.

I will be interested in seeing what others think.  And I hope I didn't come across too harsh.  These are just my opinions - not specifically pointing out any one or any group of people.  Just my thoughts.  Hey, what can I say?  I love most of the people who hang out here!  Even if I haven't met them face to face.

Happy Weekend for those who actually have a weekend! 

Kelly

Amy,

I personally Love this board.....I think it's going great.....I think people vent there downfalls, ask for help when needed and talk OT.

Too me this board is perfect........It's exactly what I like.......With no drama......

I would love to hear more from farther out people, what has worked for them etc....But they have to want to share that.......

I guess going to the coffee get togethers is where I ask my questions if I have any.....So maybe with more peeps going to coffee they don't need to post there questions.....???

I've made alot of friends off OH......I have no complaints....This board is here for you when or if you need it.....

Kelly

I agree, it has changed.....at least for me ....
I used to feel so welcomed here but lately I sorta feel like the red-headed step-child (for lack of a better description)

is it because I haven't made coffee groups?  I mean if you don't go are you back-burner news?  I dunno.....

I have my own issues with a member or two that I have resolved .....and I was thinking I was ready to rejoin coffee groups - but I really don't feel I fit-in anymore......I mean, I've been away so long, am I even welcome into the clique any more? 

I guess that's on me though.....which makes it my problem and no one else's....*shrug*

I dunno.....it's definitely not the board it was when I first joined at least for me .....

thanks for putting this out there - love you Amy!!

I agree with Kelly saying that we have our groups of friends that we talk to and coffee groups.  I think the board is social and informational when it needs to be. I think I disagree with clicks because anywhere you are there are people that just "click" together better than others but I wouldnt say that anyones left out, atleast not on this end.
Im a vetran and am never sure what to share.   I answer when asked but what would I say?
Yes my weights the same... I follow the rules that I have followed since the start.  I mess up somtimes and jump back on the bandwagon....

I think everyone knows that Im here for anyone that needs help.

I am having trouble getting proteins in but I know what I have to do ...

Soooooooooooooooooooooooo my reply was kinda pointless but I love to see myself type LOL
Kidding

I love ya!

Hi
I would be concidered a "newbie" on here. The reason I am on the board is that I am looking for random information and tips about nutrition, recipes, wow moments and just to talk with people that chose to have one form or another of WLS. Birds of a feather....

I try to encourage people that need it and praise those WOW moments. I know others have done that for me and I really do appreciate it. I went to MG coffee just one time so far but was welcomed with open arms.  I don't ask too many questions because I assume most of them have most likely been answered someplace in the past posts. So that is where I look and yes I do a lot of research on other boards and other places.

I don't know what the "board used to be" but I do know I am enjoying my time here very much! Thank you!! 

Lorri K

I love this board but do understand where you are coming from. I think the issue is more so that it is summer (sort of) still and people are just not on that often. This weekend is an example... I went out to visit the campers... there were 18 of us... that makes the boards dead while everyone is gone.

I think the 'clique' situation is a perception. It happens mostly because of proximity. There are little groups throughout the metro and it is mostly due to proximity... you hang out with the people that you live closest to. Whenever anyone comes from far away to mingle with a different group... they are welcomed with open arms.

So in terms of the online board.... I do agree that it would be nice if there was more advice. I am not a newbie, but not a vet either... but I already post less because I have gotten to a stable place in my understanding of what I have to do to succeed. When I fall... I post. It would be nice though if people took time to post in the good times too... even if they feel like it 'doesn't matter.' There is a lot to learn from success.

That's just my 2 cents...

Amy~I know that for me work got busy and I am taking 3 classes this fall so I am fairly busy and I do try to pop on here when I can, but I know it is not as often as I used to.  I would agree with some of the others as well that this is the time of year when people are out anf about and with many moms on the board they are also trying to get their kids back in the groove of school, homework and sports.  I agree with Elena on the whole clique perception, I do hope that people know all are welcome to the coffees and activities.  That is just my opinion on the current board environment.

I'm a new person - just signed up tonight in fact - and I'm scheduled to have surgery 10/8/08 if all goes well. I came to this board on the advice from someone on the medformation board that is linked to the Unity surgery center, where I am having my procedure done. I was told there is a MN only board and I could hopefully find a meeting out by me (NW Wisconsin). I've been reading all of the posts though, and I'm excited about the successes I see here, and it seems like there are a lot of good friendships as well. I think boards are interesting and helpful for people when it is hard to get out of the house to meet in person, but I know I would prefer going to meetings and seeing people face to face. The boards are also good for sharing successes and being applauded by your peers. That is very satisfying, because a lot of our non-obese friends and family who have not been through what we have been through just don't seem to understand what it's like. That is also when boards come in handy, because you can be heard and appreciated by people just like you. I am new here, but I plan to jazz up my profile with pictures and one of those cool weight loss ticker things as soon as I can figure out how!  And, of course, as soon as I have my surgery so I can actually lose by leaps and bounds!

I do think the board - this one, and probably all others, are ever-changing.  People come and people go.  "Newbies" become "Oldies", and needs change as each person progresses through their whole WLS journey. 

I used to be way more about information, learning, observing. 

Then as I made progress with MY WLS, I was more about sharing, cheering, encouraging and supporting. 

Throughout it all, I have participated here, at coffees, at PNC support group meetings.  And yes, I've made a lot of friends - some of the best friends I've ever had!  So I think it's only natural to find ourselves spending time on the social aspect of our journey - the amount of time each individual can put into it varies, but as we feel better about ourselves, we put ourselves out there more and ENJOY the friendships!  We are NOT just about the journey we're on.  It's a huge part of who we are, but isn't at least a part of the reason for WLS in the first place to become more "normal"?

I'm sure there are people here at different stages similar to the ones I described for myself above.  They're learning for themselves, and/or cheering others.  And I still feel I do a fair amount of that, too.  But for me it IS more about the social now, the on-going support through the changing struggles we face the further out we are.   My NEEDS have changed.  I'd like to think we can ALL find what we need here.  That doesn't mean every post is going to strike a chord with every person, but if we each take what we need from these boards, then it's all good!

I DO want to address the "clique" issue.  As I am one who has been accused of being "clique-y", I have a different perspective.  I am very ACTIVE here, and at PNC, and at coffee groups.  I HAVE made a great group of friends, many of whom I have done fun things with that have very little to do with OH or WLS, even tho we all share that common bond.  Does that make us "clique-y"?  I really don't think so.  I think that people who look at any of us as being that way should look first to themselves.  Maybe it's an issue of self esteem or self confidence, an old "fat" person's fear that you won't be welcomed.  (Peach, you know I love you, I have missed your participation, and you know I'm aware of at least one of the issues you made reference to.  I SO respect you for acknowledging that part of your concern comes from within.)  PLEASE LET ME ASSURE EVERY PERSON HERE - EVERYONE is welcome to participate, regardless of where you are at in this whole WLS journey!!!  On the boards, at coffee, at PNC, for the various social events that get posted - NO ONE will ever be turned away!  

If you make the choice to stay away, PLEASE don't label those of us that participate and enjoy each other as being clique-y.  Your choice to stay away does not define those of us that participate as a "clique".  We are simply taking advantage of, and reaping the benefits of, the friendships we have established.  There is no bouncer at the door.  EVERYONE is WELCOME to join in!!