what should I do
My dad is leaving next week to go to GA he is driving and going for 2 weeks they need to get the lawyer stuff done and what not. I would love to go see him I can charge tickets to my credit card but i don't know if I should go or not. My dad made the comment to him that my brother wanted to go and he said no maybe next time ( mind you my brother is a total dufuss) and he said i would like to come and he said ok but I am not going to entertain. I think i might call him and see if he minds I know some people when they are dying like that don't want therre loved ones to see them but i need to be there for my dad and to say good bye. I think I am so damn confused and don't know what to do. My hubby thinks I should stay home but yet do as I see fit. I would leave next thurs fly there and fly home on sunday I would only miss 2 days of daycare so they shouldn't freak about that...... PLEASE give me some input as what i should do. I am not a good one anyways to make up my own mind about stuff and now it's even harder......... Thanks to each of you for your prayers I cried when I seen the responses you guys are great and I love you!!!!!!!!!!!!
Many hugs to you Marsh
Many hugs to you Marsh
Marsha,
You need to do what's right for you....If you feel you need to say Goodbye, for closure I would go....Or you will regret it later.....This maybe your last opportunity......I myself would GO......Even if it's only for a day, fly there fly home......You will want to tell your Uncle that you love him and that he needs to let God take him........Whatever you want to say........You will find the right words......
Take care, hugs, Kelly
You need to do what's right for you....If you feel you need to say Goodbye, for closure I would go....Or you will regret it later.....This maybe your last opportunity......I myself would GO......Even if it's only for a day, fly there fly home......You will want to tell your Uncle that you love him and that he needs to let God take him........Whatever you want to say........You will find the right words......
Take care, hugs, Kelly
Marsha,
I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I think you've already made it clear in what you wrote, what you need to do for YOU. You said you "need to be there for my dad and to say good bye."
You need to do this so that you will be able to heal from his passing. You don't want to live with regrets. Regrets will haunt you for years to come. My dad passed away unexpectedly years ago and I had a chance to hug him one last time and did not. I've always regretted that.
You need to be the one to decide what you can live with. Just take our advice as just that -advice. Don't let anyone else make up your mind for you. Think about what you will regret after he's gone and think about what you'd love to say to him before he's gone. Then decide for yourself how you want to do that - via phone, letter, in person, whatever. Once you decide, don't let anyone make you feel bad about your decision.
Prayers and hugs to you!
Debi
I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I think you've already made it clear in what you wrote, what you need to do for YOU. You said you "need to be there for my dad and to say good bye."
You need to do this so that you will be able to heal from his passing. You don't want to live with regrets. Regrets will haunt you for years to come. My dad passed away unexpectedly years ago and I had a chance to hug him one last time and did not. I've always regretted that.
You need to be the one to decide what you can live with. Just take our advice as just that -advice. Don't let anyone else make up your mind for you. Think about what you will regret after he's gone and think about what you'd love to say to him before he's gone. Then decide for yourself how you want to do that - via phone, letter, in person, whatever. Once you decide, don't let anyone make you feel bad about your decision.
Prayers and hugs to you!
Debi
HW 265 / SW 226.5 / CW 130.5 / GW 135
It sounds to me like your uncle has been an important part of your life and you would like to say goodbye and be there to support your dad. I didn't see anything in your post as far as a reason not to go. I think you might regret later if you don't.
Kristy (weight loss below does not include 16lbs lost during pre WLS diet)
START: 325 Day of Surgery :309 GOAL: 180
Marsha,
I will pray for you to find the peace and comfort in doing what you need to do at this difficult time. Deb is right, it is so hard to live with regrets when someone dyes. My best friend died several years ago and I have lived with the regret that I did not go home to Indy for her funeral. And I was not there when she passed away. I know now that I have to stop beating myself up for that as at the time, I could not afford it and it did not change our friendship any because I did not go home, but it still was very very hard.
Be strong nad do what you feel that you need to do....
(((HUGS)))
CarolN
I will pray for you to find the peace and comfort in doing what you need to do at this difficult time. Deb is right, it is so hard to live with regrets when someone dyes. My best friend died several years ago and I have lived with the regret that I did not go home to Indy for her funeral. And I was not there when she passed away. I know now that I have to stop beating myself up for that as at the time, I could not afford it and it did not change our friendship any because I did not go home, but it still was very very hard.
Be strong nad do what you feel that you need to do....
(((HUGS)))
CarolN
'Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly. Leave the rest to God!
'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'
Marsha, you are so in my prayers during this difficult time. That sounds rather cliche', but truly - it's a very hard call.
As everyone here has already said, you have to do what you will be able to live with once this time is behind you. Some of the clearest decisions I've made in my life, I've made based on whether or not I'd kick myself for missing an opportunity that was right in front of me. That doesn't mean you shouldn't consider other factors, like $ and all, but it might make your decision a lot clearer.
Also, if you're leaning towards going, I would call Hobbit Travel to see if they can get you a good deal on a flight. Given the cir****tances, sometimes they can be a bit generous. And when I took my GS to Santa Monica last summer, they were able to save me a LOT of money over booking online direct from the airline or Orbitz or one of those other travel sites. Just a thought...
hugs for you, sweetie...
As everyone here has already said, you have to do what you will be able to live with once this time is behind you. Some of the clearest decisions I've made in my life, I've made based on whether or not I'd kick myself for missing an opportunity that was right in front of me. That doesn't mean you shouldn't consider other factors, like $ and all, but it might make your decision a lot clearer.
Also, if you're leaning towards going, I would call Hobbit Travel to see if they can get you a good deal on a flight. Given the cir****tances, sometimes they can be a bit generous. And when I took my GS to Santa Monica last summer, they were able to save me a LOT of money over booking online direct from the airline or Orbitz or one of those other travel sites. Just a thought...
hugs for you, sweetie...
Imperfect does not = unsuccessful
I would say to go, too. Explain to your dad, ahead of time, that you are choosing to go because of YOU. And reassure him that it isn't about him needing to keep you entertained. Its about your grief.
Perhaps offering to help him with some of the errands he needs to take care of while he is there, may be of benefit to him.
Grief makes us not think straight. So its good to ask for advice. Prayers and hugs to you and your family at this time.
Perhaps offering to help him with some of the errands he needs to take care of while he is there, may be of benefit to him.
Grief makes us not think straight. So its good to ask for advice. Prayers and hugs to you and your family at this time.
Marsha, you and your family are in my prayers. If you are able to go, I say GO. I wasn't able to go when my best friend's mother died (I was very close to her mother growning up). It was very difficult for me, as I didn't have the closure I needed. I hope you are able to do what your heart is telling you.
Lots of prayers.
Lots of prayers.
Heidi
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RNY 07/29/2008 | HW: 305lbs | LW: 219lbs | GW: 180lbs
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