Too much stress, no support...

I've cut/pasted this often since last night, unsure whether to even post for a reach out, but it's so bad, I have to...
I cant' take it anymore!  No 'group fun day' for me today, no more smoking..and freaking out for upcoming plastic surgery--double medial thigh lift plus mini  panni (recommended by my neurologist, and 100% insurance-covered)).  Need my mom, who is not available nor cannot come down for it due to her own medical issues, and all four siblings in the metro area will have nothing to do with my WLS (successful 'so far'--they're convinced I won't keep it off)--both WLS and upcoming PS recommended by my GP, and neurologist!) , plus I quit smoking Wednesday  and stuck with it even after  gotten privately chastised (via terse PM)  late Wed. for a huge , 'behind my back, off the boards, misinterpretation of my merely attempting to share discount tickets to VF, where I really should be today, screaming the anxiety/ension outta this body. Subsequently lost the ride out there, was told to use my 'transportation service', which yesterday find out doesn't even go to Shakopee-- So, to ease the depressing reality, I've been taking bed-time meds, attempting to sleep the weekend away and forget about all the disappointment  Nope, just can't sleep more than two hours, and stress in general is detrimental to MS, which affects not only my vision and balance, but also cognitive processes. I want to smoke so badly today, though I'm stronger than that habit/addiction.  Other than how others see me, I 'm so 'normal'.  So why do I feel I need moral/emotional support for facing surgery all by myself?  Why am I so enraged/hurting for missing out on what was supposed to be a 'group fun day?'  Why, if I I'm always 'the strong one', scared to pieces to go alone into surgery, come home alone with both inner thighs sliced/lipoed/stretched closed/with huge infection and ruture re-opening risk , told by surgeon that for at least two weeks post-surgery do no bending/lifting, no sitting up nor lying down (reclining only, and I don't even have room for one) and living alone with a cat--why am I freaking out ?!  Don't see the psychologist (hey, I'm workin' on personal crud in what will be life-long therapy--three years plus so far....am wishing the entire world would get a reality check and get 'head' help for ignorance/stupidity...)  Yikes, it's mid afternoon, and better eat some lunch.  Am trying my hardest to muddle out of this sinking hole....

Patti- Aw, You've got alot going on, and not a whole lot of support. (from family at least) Congratulations on quitting smoking even though you have all this stress going on right now. You can do it, the first few days are the hardest. I smoked for about 15 yrs and had my last one about a year and 1/2 ago. As hard as it was, I'd do it all over again if I could quit FOOD! I'm glad you posted and vented here. I hope you get lots of support tonight.

sent you a PM

Hi Patty,

Congrats on quiting. My mom smokes 3 packs a day and I would do anything to see her even try to quick. You can do it. I had PS in the past and would be more than happy to help you in any way. A driver. A prayer....anything you need. Its gonna be painful...but only for a bit and then you will feel so much better!! I can promie you that. Just let me know how I can help!!

Kimberly

Hi Kimberly, thank you for your sweet note.  The smoking cessation has not been aproblem at all--mind over matter, I know PS has been pushed back to October 20 because smoking affects healing. Having MS, am very concerned about falling when at home post-surgery, with all the research I've pursued, the reality is very scary.  However, I now have plenty of time to get the ducks in a row and be totally prepared when the time comes.  Bless your sweet heart for offering your help. For now, prayers for peace of mind!  Funny, I had absolutely no anxiety whatsoever over the four months from info session to actually having the RNY--but this major invasive is a whole 'nuther thing, huh?  Thanks again, will be in touch, and enjoy the day!  Hugs, Patti

Congrats on the quitting smoking!!  I can't imagine why anyone would be upset about you offering a discount ticket??  That's beyond bizzare!!!

At any rate, I hope you know you have support here...maybe sometimes that won't be enough but at least it's something!!!

I hope things get better for you girl...you deserve it!

sent you a PM

Patti-
I am sorry to hear that your family is not as supportive as you would wish they were.  That is a horrible feeling.  You did the right thing by venting it on the board- everyone here will give you as much support as possible.  You are doing great on your journey to health- and don't let anyone tell you differently!  Keep your chin up and congtulations on quitting smoking- that is a HUGE step!  Thinking of you often and praying that your family starts to "get it"!

Reenie

Hi Reenie,  I'm feeling much better today.  Plastics surgery has been rescheduled to October 20, which gives the body two months to rejuvenate.  As with WLS two years ago, quitting smoking was a piece of cake, putting mind over matter and knowing the big picture superceded any strong urges to deviate from the plan.  And here I am today, same thing.  Have now got plenty of time to research, plan, and implement post-op recuperation--hopefully with nurse visiting my home or going to a rehab. center (I have MS, and though mobile, will definitely need help).  Everything will be alright, just need to relax and follow my own advice to WLS pre-ops:  breathe, breathe, breathe.  I appreciate the support hon;  take care of 'you!'  Hugs, Patti

AWWW! If I lived in the cities still, I would be there for ya! Appts,cares what ever it was you would need!! Stopping smoking sucks!! I will not lie, I quit 5 months ago for surgery. I don't think about it much anymore. The cravings will subside soon, ok well 2 weeks LOL. Try and think of some positives in your life and push the negitives to the trash can. We are here for ya! Vent away woman!
Kelly/tink