I need to vent...(long)

Ok, a little background first.  As some of you know, I have been having trouble with eating off and on since surgery.  Some episodes are worse than others and has landed me in the hospital once to get rehydrated.  A barium xray showed no problems and everything has just been chalked up to a irritated pouch.  I am getting rather depressed and irritated with the eating issue.  After my last hospital stay in mid July things have been going ok.  I stayed on liquids for 4 days after that stay and was put on carafate and my zantac was doubled.  The carafate was for two weeks.  I have been doing ok.  For a couple weeks after that episode it was great to be able to eat without any discomfort.  I had started to get scared to eat anything as it always caused me discomfort or to throw up.

Anyway--fast forward to this week.  On Sunday I was able to eat just fine.  I had milk in the morning.  Had about a 1/4 cup total of chicken and beef for lunch.  Had about a 1/4 cup total of chicken, rice and 2 green beans for dinner.  I was at a wedding and did have a small piece of cake.  It went down fine.  Please no flaming--I know it is not the best choice--but it was a special occasion and I feel that it is ok.  Yesterday morning I got up and took my pills as usual with milk (zoloft, zantac and docusate sodium).  Well, something got stuck.  I got sick and threw up several times yesterday morning.  I got ahold of the clinic aroun 1:30pm and talked to Gina.  She got me an appt for today at 11:15am.  After talking to her yesterday, my pouch seemed to settle down and I was able to get down some chicken broth and powerade zero. 

This morning I took my pills and again got sick.  They are just getting stuck and blocking the stoma or something.  I went to my appt, waited until 1:00pm  to see someone (they were way behind).  She talked to me and decided that she didn't feel that it was a stricture but would order a scope if I wanted to. 

So, now I wait for an appt to do that, staying on fluids till I get it done.  I am to cut my pills really small to take them and I am on carafate again and was switched to Protonix.  I am depressed and irritated with the PA that I saw.  She just made me feel like it is all in my head and that she would humor me and let me get the scope if I wanted it.  This problem has been going on for a couple of months and I am tired of it.  Is this just normal and I don't realize it?  Am I doomed to only be able to eat pureed and select solids for the rest of my life?  Am I only supposed to be able to eat 2 bites at a meal?  How am I supposed to get all of my supplements in if I am unable to swallow them?  I cried on the way home because I got that feeling that I have had all my life of just shut up and deal with it.  I just feel like what I am feeling doesn't matter.  Like it is all in my head and I am bothering them.  Sorry so long.....just wanted some advice.

Hi--
When you take your pills--do you have to take them one by one with a good amount of time between pills?  Like how long does it take to actually take your meds? Maybe you're not allowing enough time between pills? Just a thought...

I'm hoping and praying the docs are able to help you out.

(((HUGS))
**SUE**

Hey Hon!  I had grouchy pouchy also.  It is a bummer that is for sure!  My pouchy still gets grouchy from time to time BUT SOOOOO much better then the first 3-6 months.  Hang in there, blow off that PA, and take the precautions to make sure (better safe then sorry).......Hang in there!
HUGS

I pray that they can find out what the problem is. That must be miserable!!

Don't give up...it will get better with time.

Hugs, connie d

Please never feel like it is in your head. If you go to my profile (it is very long) you will see that I had doctors tell me it was in my head. I started by having problems in Nov 03 and then had alot more problems in April 04. Had an exploratory, than 5 weeks later has a chole. Then still felt awful, not keepign food down and went to my surgeon. He told me he did not think it was gastric related and that he did not think anything was wrong with me. So I fired him and went to my pcp. She told me to try one mroe time with him and so I made an appt. I got a call the day before telling me that he was called out of town. Well came to find out mine was the only appt cancelled for that day. So I ended up at mayo where they found out I had gastroparesis and dismotility of the intestines caused by the surgery. Than I had a dr there tell me he thought there was narcotic abuse going on and he back peddled really fast when I confronted him on it. The moral, hang in there and stick to your guns. Only you know how you feel, no one else and if you don't like the person you saw, there is absolutely no harm in a second opinion. Dr's can be wrong and make mistakes like people (most seem to be stupid mistakes cause they won't listen). This also applies to PA.  Just hang in there and personally it sounds like a stricture if it came on that sudden again. You may also want to try not taking your pills when you first wake up or maybe spread them apart more. Maybe they are irritating your pouch especially if it is cranky already.

Good luck

Alannah
 
P.S. No flaming for the cake, it was a special occasion and I see no harm if it is just a rare instance.

Just some ideas for you here.  Are you cutting up you pills very small?  Some I had to quarter to get down.  Also, and echo of a previous response, are you giving yourself enough time in between pills.  I was taking like 8 pills in the morning, and it often took me a half hour to an hour do take them because I would get full.  I used to "joke" that taking my pills was like eating a meal for the space and time it took.  Talk about feeling overstuffed!  I didn't try whole pills until 6 months out.  

But don't feel like you are in the wrong at any point in your "recovery."  Always question, cause you are the only expert on you.  If your Doc won't work with you, get a new one.  Seriously, this is your health and life you are dealing with here. 

I've asked this question of the nutritionist and dr's since we started taking all our supplements. No one really had an answer for me. Said it would be fine. But I just couldn't quite figure out how to get 5 pills down at a time without gulping water. This information is so helpful.

thanks, Becky

Your post makes me a little nervous about the PA at Benn's office.  I think that CIndy is gone and there is a new one.  CIndy was always so good.  Is this the new one, Melissa?  I hope that this isn't a sign of things to come for me!

Don't be nervous... they have been good to me. Remember they are people too and can make mistakes and have bad days :)

((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))) Do not let that PA make you feel interior or like it is all in your head, because only you know what happens all the time and all she got was a snippet of that.  Definitely go through with the scope and if after all of the precaustions and scope there is still no answer keep digging...have you ever seen the show "Diagnosis X" on Discovery Health Channel?  It is a show about people who have symptoms that don't correlate to regular illnesses or disorders, but that stick with it so that the doctor is able to finally diagnose the issue and begin treating it.  I agree about the cutting up your pills really small and take each piece one at a time.  This may seem very time consuming, but at least that way you are able to get your meds and supplements in if nothing else.  I pray that they are able to find some answers and you can begin enjoying your journey.  Love & Hugs!  Nicole