Am I really doing bad? (long)

Hi,

I know that we're not supposed to compare ourselves to others, but I'm really starting to get frustrated by my lack of weight loss post-op.  I'm 8 weeks out now and I've lost less than 28 pounds (on Monday my weight loss was 28 pounds, but as soon as I drank water that day it went back up to where it was the week before).

I've seen my surgeon, the physician at my weight loss center, my therapist, and my nutritionist.  I've been honest with all of them about what I'm doing and they don't seem concerned about my lack of weight loss, but they seem puzzled.  Here's what they've said:

Nutritionist - "You're eating fine and drinking enough.  Maybe it's because you lost so much on the pre-op liquid diet (35 lbs)?  Maybe if you drink more water?"
Physician - "The overall weight loss numbers show that you are succeeding.  You're eating is fine (and normal) for someone at your stage.  You can increase your exercise if you want, but let's do some labs to make sure that there isn't some deficiency that's making you so fatigued (something I was concerned about)."
The physician's assistant (a post-op person) - "You really should be aiming to lose between 3-5 lbs. per week.  You only have about a year to maximize your weight loss before you'll get hungry again.  Try to lose more weight.  (Duh)."
Therapist - "You've lost 63 pounds in 11 weeks - that's an average of over 5 lbs. per week.  You're too hard on yourself."
Surgeon - "You're fine."

I can't figure up what's stalling the weight loss.  I'm eating about 900 cal per day (I journal everything that I eat).  I'm eating occassional snacks which is against the nutritionist's plan at my surgery center (but the surgeon and physician recommend snacking, go figure).  Of the 900 calories per day about 40-50% are from fat, 30% from protein, and 30% from carbs.  I try to focus on protein as much as possible, but I can't supplement and dense proteins are hard to keep down so I include fat to make them moister (thus the high fat content).  I haven't been doing much exercise so that might be my downfall (but enough to curb weigh loss entirely?)  I drink about 68-80oz. water per day.

I'm so frustrated - pre-liquid diet I would eat, on average (this is embarassing) over 5000 cal per day, 200g of fat, and carbs like there's no tomorrow!  I definately earned every pound of the 465 that I weighed!  How can eating 20% of what I used to only result in a 60 pound weight loss? 

I'm feeling really fragile about all of this so I want to say that I'd like nice feedback, but honestly, I want to start losing weight again so I'll take any feedback I can get to get the scale moving again.  Please help!!!  Just FYI, I can't drink anything (protein shakes, supplements) due to post-op nutrition guidelines so I can't go back on the liquid diet or do a pouch test.

Thanks for any and all feedback.  I also posted this on the BMI over 50 board, but I really value the opinion of my MN friends!

Jen

I'd highly recommend getting rid of your scale.  I used to weigh myself 2, 3, 4 times a day and it was driving me crazy.  It sounds like you're doing what you should.  Don't concentrate on the numbers - concentrate on working the program.  We didn't gain all this weight in a few weeks, we're not going to lose it in a few weeks.  I can totally relate to comparing my weight loss to others', but have come to realize I need to look at my own results.  I may not be doing "as well" as others, but I'm not gaining wieght anymore - I'm still losing weight AND inches.  I, too, need to lose over 200 pounds total, so it sometimes gets frustrating seeing people get to their goal when I still need to lose another 100 pounds.  But, after I quit weighing myself all the time, when I did get on the scale, it would be a pleasant surprise.  And, 63 pounds is a great start!   I, too, was tired for about 12 weeks out, but then my body finally got accustomed to needing/craving all those excess calories and carbs and now I feel fantastic.  I sleep soooo much less of my day away :)  Be patient - yet proactive.  You're doing just fine!

Thank you Lois.  I have made a commitment to put the scale away as soon as I drop below 400 lbs. (which is between 2-5 pounds away, depending on what time of the day I weigh myself as you mentioned).  My snacks, although the Dr. says are fine, are still carb intensive (100cal bags of popcorn, pretzels) so I'll be taking those to work with me and feeding them to others who are not as carb addicted as me.  Then, if I need to snack, I will reach for the cheese.

I appreciate your encouragement and I know in my head that these pounds will start to add up real soon (and are adding up) but I get SO frustrated, especially as I want so desperately to weigh less than 400!

Jen,

First off, {{{hugs}}}.  I doubt there's anything wrong.  I know that once we come to the decision that WLS is the route we need to take, we want to roll the clock back and have it done YESTERDAY!  But it does take time.  If I was you, I would take a lot of comfort in the words of your surgeon and therapist. 

As for the weight not coming off as quickly as you want it to?  I GET that it's frustrating.  But here's the thought that popped into my brain after reading your post.  You were consuming 5000 calories preop, and now you're under 900 - PLUS you recently had a major surgery!  Your body is in shock.  It's not getting what it's used to getting, so it may be hanging on to everything it can with everything it's got!  As long as you keep on feeding yourself the right things, it will eventually realize you are NOT going to starve yourself to death, and I would guess you will start to see that weight coming off at a better clip.  Just realize - it's NEVER going to come off as fast as you'd LIKE it to!  Slow and steady wins the race - as long as you are following the rules, it would be pretty difficult for you to fail.

HOWEVER, it IS a good thing to stay in touch with your surgeon - there are a few cases out there of some unique individuals not reacting to their procedure as most do, so definitely keep an eye on it all!  As long as the scale continues to move in the RIGHT direction, give yourself credit! 

As for your nutritionist, I have an opinion there, too.  I AM NOT A NUTRITIONIST NOR DO I PLAY ONE ON TV.  Early out, I was snacking on things like SF jello or SF popsicles, and MY nut. told me I needed to stop snacking altogether, or I'd likely head down the slippery slope to pints of Haagen Daaz and pans of lasagne.  My NURSE rolled her eyes at that notion, and told me that if I didn't feel GOOD about my appointments with my nut, that I really didn't have to keep going - as long as I maintained my contact with her, and followed the plan.  PNC recommends 8oz. of milk 3x/day for snacks, but I have a rather well-known "issue" with milk.  So on my own, I would substitute some other protein-based "snack", such as beef jerky or cheese.  I get the protein, I get to "snack", and I really think it has helped me keep up the fight.  If I was told 3 meals a day and no snacks EVER?  That's the kind of mentality that contributed to my obesity in the first place!  I just make DARN SURE that my snacks are PROTEIN! 

I'm not suggesting you thumb your nose at your nut or your program.  But YOU have to find what works for YOU.  And that may not always fall perfectly in line with the your surgeon's particular program. 

Good luck, hon.. take a deep breath, re-commit yourself to following the rules, and pray for a bit of patience.  You are gonna be a RAGING success story!!!

Darla,  You sound just like the other staff at HCMC (other than the NUT).  The NUT says "no liquid calories" and "no snacks".  So, I thought the Dr. was going to yell at my yesterday when I admitted I eat a SF fudge pop 1-2 times per week.  He said, "35 calories is something I'm not even going to pay any attention to and neither should you unless you're eating several a day."  I also admitted that on occasion I have 100cal snack pack of popcorn or pretzels and again thought he was going to be mad.  Instead he congratulated me on making "healthy" snack choices for myself.  The Dr., the surgeon, the assistant, they all say eat snacks - everyone but the NUT.  I don't feel bad that I snack, but I feel bad that I do it only 8 weeks post-op.  I thought that I wasn't supposed to want to eat or feel hungry and it freaks me out that I do - especially given that the weight loss is starting so slow.  I wish there was some magic formula - some answer - that would tell me if I was doing things right/or not right - it's so hard to give up my need to control the situation.  I absolutely know how to GAIN weight - I'm not such an expert at how to lose weight yet.  I appreciate your honesty that you've made modifications to the NUT plan that fit your life and your weight loss.  It helps to know that others "do what's right for them" as my surgeon says and still have great success.

Here's another tidbit I learned just last month in a PNC support group meeting (At MY age, having been a life-long "dieter", and over a year out from WLS, I found it AMAZING that I could learn something like this!)

We all know carbs are evil.  What I didn't really get was that aside from being mostly empty calories, our bodies will burn the carbs we eat FIRST.  Then it will move on to utilizing stored fat.  If you aren't giving your body carbs, it goes directly to the fat stores for energy.  SOOOO... if you can find the strength to toss those 100 calorie packs of carbs, and substitute them with some form of lean protein, your body will have no choice but to give up more fat! 

I'm sure somebody out there can explain it better than me, but hopefully that makes sense to ya

I thought that I wasn't supposed to want to eat or feel hungry and it freaks me out that I do - especially given that the weight loss is starting so slow. 

Nope, that's not true. I'm almost 3 years out and I NEVER was not hungry (well, maybe the first couple of weeks). Yes, it's most definitely possible that youre truely "hungry" post WLS. Everyone is different - you need to remember that.

Throw away the dang scale. It'll make your life hell.

You are doing great!  I know it drives you nuts waiting for it all to fall off... it will..  :)

Have yuo taken your measurements?  When I'm not losing pounds, I"m losing inches.  and OMG the inches are as good as the drop on the scale.  I get so pumped  :)

As for snacks...  I say keep it up if you are TRUELY hungery and not just head hunger... but make it protein.  Beef Jerky is good - string cheese - a bit of chicken or tuna salad without the pasta is good - I used to freeze protein shakes in little cups for small protein packed icees  :)

There's a bunch of good stuff out there - and I would say treat yourself once in a while.  but only once in a great while...  In my case, deprivation leads to sneaking and I promised myself I wouldn't hide what I eat anymore... no midnight raids and no eating alone in the car unless it's healthy and mealtime.   You need to decide this one though as it won't work for everyone.

They keep telling us everyone is unique yet give 500 people the exact same plan to follow...  excuse me?  lol

*hugs*

Hi Jen
Try this for a week and I know it sounds crazy but maybe increase your food intake a little and see if it stimulates your metabolism I would add maybe a cheese stick or maybe some other protien item. I would look at your carb intae since that can be a biig factor in your weight loss. some things that you may want to try.
Jim

I think you should listen to these two people...
Therapist - "You've lost 63 pounds in 11 weeks - that's an average of over 5 lbs. per week.  You're too hard on yourself."
Surgeon - "You're fine."