I don't know what to think...

I talked to my husband on the phone today (he works construction and is gone all day)...anyways...I mentioned my bariatric nurse appointment tomorrow and he said...Lisa you don't over eat, so why do you want this surgery so bad...I was floored...i felt like he hasn't listened to anything I have told him lately.  I guess he is not as supportive as I thought he would be, it just makes me sad!!!!


Lisa

Lisa - are you sure he's not supportive? His statement may be true. You may not overeat. You may be obese for another reason.

Just a thought.

"over eating" is a matter of perspective. 

Your bariatric nurse will be asking you lots of questions.  As long as you give HONEST, TRUTHFUL answers, THAT is the person who should be given the most consideration in whether or not this is the right path for you.   Hopefully, your husband can respect that. 

Right now, the man is probably not so much unsupportive, but nervous for you!   Try to take the most positive view of things you possibly can - negativity is a powerful, snowballing kind of emotion.  If you can learn to seek out the positive every chance you get, you'll empower yourself, and build support among the people who SHOULD be supporting you!

If you've done your research and have come to believe in your heart of hearts that THIS, WLS, is right for YOU, just keep taking steps towards it.  It's YOUR life, you need to do what's right by YOU.

Lisa, I went through the same thing with my wife who actually is a surgical nurse.  Tell him how you really feel and why you really need this!!!  eventually when he see's the true results and effert he might just come around.  Be patient with him.

Troy

I think that in the beginning its hard for the husband to get a full grasp on this surgery. I'm husband had some issues in the beginning but mostly because he was uneducated about the process and after affects. Once he understood he was more on board. Still nervous about the surgery and if anything would happen to me. I think that now he is happy with the overall results.

Wishing you all the best.

Sounds like maybe he isn't 100% on board yet. My husband doesn't think I eat a whole lot more than he does, but I am a sneaker and he works nights so isn't around me eating a whole lot other than weekends. I hope he comes around. I think my husband will continue to think the whole "why not just exercise and eat right instead" thing. Ugh! But so far he's supportive. We'll see as surgery becomes more of a reality, getting approved, date, etc. Good Luck, I know it's important to have our DH be supportive during this whole thing.

Lisa,

For my husband, it really helped to focus on the ways that my weight impacted his life.  He really hated how I never wanted to travel (or at least always had to research if there would be activities that I could do at my size).  He also hated how I stopped going to sporting events and concerts because the seats were uncomfortable and I didn't want to inconvenience the stranger that would be on one side of me while I took up some of their space.  And he really hated to see how sad I was becoming as I shut down more and more aspects of my life because of my weight. 

I realize that the list may be different for you, but share with him how you really feel and help him to see how his life will also be better if you go through with this procedure.

My husband and I loved to eat together.  He never had a problem with my size or what I ate so if I had told him that I needed to do this to lose weight or eat less I don't think he would have been sold on the surgery.  It was the other things.

I wish you the best.  I know it's really important to have the support of your family and friends.  If you spend time educating them (and yourself) about why you're really doing this, they hopefully will be excited for you.

Thanks guys, I feel a little better.  I was going to say...its just because he is a man, but then there was the message from Troy (sorry man) lol.

My best friend is so super supportive and so are my kids so I will just go with that and hope that my man will soon...lol

Lisa

Hey Hon!  Here is my experience.  My husband was afraid of surgery and the risks......might be a possibility....which the risks are VERY low then they use to be!
Hugs

I had one more thought on this.  I'm assuming you had to write some kind of letter to your insurance or bariatric program, requesting consideration of this surgery, in which you spelled out your most personal reasons.  If so, did you let your hubby read that letter?  Thinking back to the beginning of this whole process for myself, letting my hubby read MY letter was a major "aha" moment for him.  He's not inside my mind, he couldn't relate to all the ways my weight was affecting me.  Seeing it in writing was HUGE for him!