Here's my update.....(long)
First off, anyone of you will know that some people have more of a "bumpy" ride in the WLS journey then others. I have had ALOT of emotional need healing issues. Things that I thought that I had resolved came back and bit my keister! That is one of the most unexpected things in my journey. I WOULD STILL DO IT ALL OVER IN A HEARTBEAT. Through this healing and greiving and growing process I have been "active" here and not so much. WELL, now comes the time for me to deal with the biggest and hardest personal issue and I am scared but I CAN DO IT!
I was talking with a good friend about my struggles and she asked me why I didn't call her sooner (so did my therapist). And as we talked I realized that I have the HARDEST time reaching out for help when it comes to emotional problems for several reasons 1) had to be the big strong girl. 2) wanted people to think I was normal 3) thought I could handle it on my own. Sound familar to anyone? It was such an eye opener for me (after nearly crashing from holding it all in!). So, I beg you, if you need help GO GET IT!! From a therapist, doctor, pastor or trusted friend( or all like me
). This has been one amazing ride. I have had my share of ups and downs but have blossomed into who I was meant to be...not what my parents believed I should be, my friends thought I was, and discovered so much about myself. Learning who I was and learning to love myself was hard. I am happier now then I have ever been! WLS does SO MUCH MORE then just shed the pounds and get you healthier.
I have also come to the point where this is me either like or not your loss or your gain. That might sound vain or bad but I am now just starting to not care what someone may or maynot think and I don't need anyone's approval....I AM ME. I am tired of trying to "get" people to like me.....afraid they won't.
So, here I am, letting my gaurd down, becoming vulnerable, and it's ok~! I also have learned that I am not gonna let "hurt" have the power over me anymore! HURT WILL not control me! Healing is soo much happier and healthier. Ya know what else is sooo freeing! I'm not going to let other people and their moods affect me! THIS is my new begining and just like a butterfly getting out of is cocoon and letting it's wings dry~ that's where I am. Ok, peeps, I'm long winded! And I am a little slower at getting to this point then most BUT I AM ON MY WAY!
Have a blessed weekend!
HUGS/LOVES
~Sandie~ 
-147!!WLS:12-12-06:Preop 268,Ht.5'4",BMI 44.9
Click on link to see my journey!!!
http://www.onetruemedia.com/my_shared?z=2bfaca5561a1d558fceb
87&utm_source=otm&utm_medium=text_url
"Do unto others as you'd have done to you"~ The Golden Rule to Live by!
You are what you EAT and WHO you hang out with! Choices=Outcome~ what's YOUR choice??
I'm not perfect but I am going to die trying!!!
I haven't met you yet, but from what I know of you on the MN forum, a lot of people here seem to really love and admire you. Since you've been away people have missed you and are looking forward to seeing you around more regularly. It seems like you offer a lot to them as a friend as well.
Please hang in there and continue to utilize your supports. I really believe that these emotional downturns do pass with time. In the meantime, be good to yourself.
Thanks for the kind words! I would love to meet you!
HUGS!!!
ps.....it only gets better
~Sandie~ -147!!WLS:12-12-06:Preop 268,Ht.5'4",BMI 44.9
Click on link to see my journey!!!
http://www.onetruemedia.com/my_shared?z=2bfaca5561a1d558fceb
87&utm_source=otm&utm_medium=text_url
"Do unto others as you'd have done to you"~ The Golden Rule to Live by!
You are what you EAT and WHO you hang out with! Choices=Outcome~ what's YOUR choice??
I'm not perfect but I am going to die trying!!!
I am so happy for you! I know exactly how you feel. Did I ever send you my testimony? If not, let me know and I'll email it to you. God has healed me and brought me to peace and joy and contentment. I still have a ways to go in so many areas of my life, but my past is history and no longer controls me.
It's so freeing! You're right, I think this surgery does bring up so many emotional issues for us because we've always had food to hide behind, and then food is gone and all we have is us and God!
I love ya and I'm so happy for you!
Debi
HUGS
~Sandie~ -147!!WLS:12-12-06:Preop 268,Ht.5'4",BMI 44.9
Click on link to see my journey!!!
http://www.onetruemedia.com/my_shared?z=2bfaca5561a1d558fceb
87&utm_source=otm&utm_medium=text_url
"Do unto others as you'd have done to you"~ The Golden Rule to Live by!
You are what you EAT and WHO you hang out with! Choices=Outcome~ what's YOUR choice??
I'm not perfect but I am going to die trying!!!
Thank You for sharing........I was wondering where you have been........You are so right, WLS is so much more than loosing weight and being healthy...........I still haven't been able to handle all the curve balls I've been thrown.........I too am learning who I really am.......And it scares me once in awhile.....Like my thread a week ago.....Wanting to race cars, WT......There's so much I'm learning about myself and I've been bottling it up....Slowly I'm releasing it.........It's scary for me to be me......I've always been a hermit in my home.....Hiding my fat body.......Etc.
Thanks for being you...........
One day I'm coming to NB to meet you for coffee. You are beautiful on the inside and out.........That's one thing I have learned on this journey also, that overweight people are so beautiful on the inside, so caring.........I'm so glad I was fat, because if I wasn't I wouldn't have met all you wonderful people on OH.........Thanks again for sharing, Kelly
HUGS!
~Sandie~ -147!!WLS:12-12-06:Preop 268,Ht.5'4",BMI 44.9
Click on link to see my journey!!!
http://www.onetruemedia.com/my_shared?z=2bfaca5561a1d558fceb
87&utm_source=otm&utm_medium=text_url
"Do unto others as you'd have done to you"~ The Golden Rule to Live by!
You are what you EAT and WHO you hang out with! Choices=Outcome~ what's YOUR choice??
I'm not perfect but I am going to die trying!!!
Happy to hear you are getting and feeling better -- especially about YOUR successes and loving soul. Sounds like this is the head catching up stuff !!!
I know you are a beautiful and caring person and those who have you in their lives are blessed to be there. I'm praying the hurt continues to go away.
XXOO
Fitness is not about age or a size -- it's really about an attitude and life style!!!
Life is not measured by the number of breathes we take, but by the moments that take our breathe away~~
