I am NOT a failure! (long)
I have been pretty MIA lately. I have been struggling since the beginning of April. I hit my lowest of 144.4 around that time and since then have seen 151 on the scale. Today it said 147.4
I saw old habits creeping back in, habits I never realized I even had prior to surgery. I was snacking and grazing all day long. I was making poor food choices when I dined out. I was dining out way more than my goal of 2 meals a week or less.
I went through a whirlwind of emotions sorrounding this. I felt ashamed, ashamed I had allowed these behaviors to happen. Ashamed for what I was doing. I felt guilt, I felt overwhelmed when I tried to address the problems myself. I started to get depressed and ended up going on a hiatus from the gym. I felt like a failure, like I couldn't get back on track.
After a while of trying to fix it on my own, reading books, reading the boards, talking with friends, coworkers and at coffee, I finally called my clinic and made a shrink appt and my 6 month follow up appts....2 months late.
I saw the shrink, the same one I saw pre-op, which helped because he and I already had history, he knew my background. He was great. He helped point out I was eating the same things for my meals all the time, which leads to boredom which leads to snacking and eating not so good choices because I am bored with the foods I am eating at my meals. He also helped me focus on all I have accomplished thus far. I have lost 82% of my excess weight, I can finally touch my toes, something I have NEVER in my life been able to do. I can run! I ran for half an hour today, went 2.76 miles.
The next day I met with the medical doctor at my clinic and then the nutritionist. The Dr said something to me that really struck a cord. She told me to let go of the guilt, to not feel guilty. EVERYONE goes through periods in their lives throughout the years where they are much more diligent with their eating and leading a healthy lifestyle and sometimes they're not so good. Everyone's scale bounces around a little bit, it doesn't flat line. She said it's a matter of shortening those time frames where you're 'off the wagon'.
I got some good ideas from my nutritionist and we talked about portion sizes. I realized I had been doing better than I thought I was as far as that goes. I am going to start trying other things for breakfast like lunch and dinner food. I am pretty bored with cereals and such. My goal is to try a couple of new recipes a wee****il then while I research and find some to try, I went to Aldi and picked up some new protein sources to try.
Everyone I met with this week really stressed and pointed out all the good things. I really am doing well, and to them I am a success so far. I focus on protein first and I do get 60-80g protein a day and I take my multi-vitamins and calcium and I drink my water. I am not a failure, and I won't be. I am normal. I am back on track and feeling great!
The Dr had me step on the scale again on Tuesday, my body fat % is right in the middle of the normal range :) My BMI is normal too. I went out and bought a body fat scale that also measures hydration. I am going to start tracking those and watch the trends. I think having a body fat % goal is much better for me. I just haven't figured out what that goal is yet.
I haven't been posting much at all lately. I have been lurking. It took me a while to get help and to figure out what was going on and to get back on track in the right direction. I'll probably still mostly lurk....life sure has gotten busier and more active!!! I do wish you all the best and think of you all. Thank you all for sharing and posting, you all give me something to read!!
I saw old habits creeping back in, habits I never realized I even had prior to surgery. I was snacking and grazing all day long. I was making poor food choices when I dined out. I was dining out way more than my goal of 2 meals a week or less.
I went through a whirlwind of emotions sorrounding this. I felt ashamed, ashamed I had allowed these behaviors to happen. Ashamed for what I was doing. I felt guilt, I felt overwhelmed when I tried to address the problems myself. I started to get depressed and ended up going on a hiatus from the gym. I felt like a failure, like I couldn't get back on track.
After a while of trying to fix it on my own, reading books, reading the boards, talking with friends, coworkers and at coffee, I finally called my clinic and made a shrink appt and my 6 month follow up appts....2 months late.
I saw the shrink, the same one I saw pre-op, which helped because he and I already had history, he knew my background. He was great. He helped point out I was eating the same things for my meals all the time, which leads to boredom which leads to snacking and eating not so good choices because I am bored with the foods I am eating at my meals. He also helped me focus on all I have accomplished thus far. I have lost 82% of my excess weight, I can finally touch my toes, something I have NEVER in my life been able to do. I can run! I ran for half an hour today, went 2.76 miles.
The next day I met with the medical doctor at my clinic and then the nutritionist. The Dr said something to me that really struck a cord. She told me to let go of the guilt, to not feel guilty. EVERYONE goes through periods in their lives throughout the years where they are much more diligent with their eating and leading a healthy lifestyle and sometimes they're not so good. Everyone's scale bounces around a little bit, it doesn't flat line. She said it's a matter of shortening those time frames where you're 'off the wagon'.
I got some good ideas from my nutritionist and we talked about portion sizes. I realized I had been doing better than I thought I was as far as that goes. I am going to start trying other things for breakfast like lunch and dinner food. I am pretty bored with cereals and such. My goal is to try a couple of new recipes a wee****il then while I research and find some to try, I went to Aldi and picked up some new protein sources to try.
Everyone I met with this week really stressed and pointed out all the good things. I really am doing well, and to them I am a success so far. I focus on protein first and I do get 60-80g protein a day and I take my multi-vitamins and calcium and I drink my water. I am not a failure, and I won't be. I am normal. I am back on track and feeling great!
The Dr had me step on the scale again on Tuesday, my body fat % is right in the middle of the normal range :) My BMI is normal too. I went out and bought a body fat scale that also measures hydration. I am going to start tracking those and watch the trends. I think having a body fat % goal is much better for me. I just haven't figured out what that goal is yet.
I haven't been posting much at all lately. I have been lurking. It took me a while to get help and to figure out what was going on and to get back on track in the right direction. I'll probably still mostly lurk....life sure has gotten busier and more active!!! I do wish you all the best and think of you all. Thank you all for sharing and posting, you all give me something to read!!
~Alayna
Maintaining for 3-1/2yrs now!!
Pregnant and due February 9, 2012 with first child
Maintaining for 3-1/2yrs now!!
Pregnant and due February 9, 2012 with first child
You are absolutely right. You are NOT a failure. We are all in this together. Gazillion hugs to you.
Like I told Kelly yesterday. Our instinct is to back off when we aren't where we'd like to be or where we should be. That is the time when we need support the most. I hope you can make it to coffee in MG this weekend. You need that!
More hugs to you and anyone else that needs them. Many of us are in the same timeframe with being 6-8 months out. Its tough. And you are right. We need to look at what we've accomplished. Not what we think we failured ourselves.
Everyone needs a hug. (((HUGS)))
kelly
Like I told Kelly yesterday. Our instinct is to back off when we aren't where we'd like to be or where we should be. That is the time when we need support the most. I hope you can make it to coffee in MG this weekend. You need that!
More hugs to you and anyone else that needs them. Many of us are in the same timeframe with being 6-8 months out. Its tough. And you are right. We need to look at what we've accomplished. Not what we think we failured ourselves.
Everyone needs a hug. (((HUGS)))
kelly
Hello Beautiful Surgery Sister! You are doing wonderfully and you are not alone in this! I too have been struggling with these feelings of being a failure - the difference is that I have NOT be getting my protein in, nor my water, nor my vitamins, etc! I have completely fell off the wagon and need a swift kick in the butt! I got a tap last night at group and continue to get nudges from lurking here!
Thank you for sharing - it helps to know that I am not alone at this point of new challenges! We are NOT failures - just real people who are faced with real life challenges each and every day - that is why we MUST keep in contact with those that truly understand and can support us!
You look marvelous! I hope that you are at MG coffee on Sat - it seems like forever since I have seen you!
Hugs!
Thank you for sharing - it helps to know that I am not alone at this point of new challenges! We are NOT failures - just real people who are faced with real life challenges each and every day - that is why we MUST keep in contact with those that truly understand and can support us!
You look marvelous! I hope that you are at MG coffee on Sat - it seems like forever since I have seen you!
Hugs!
Teri 
{{{{{{{{{{{Alayna}}}}}}}}}}}}
YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!
Yep, we have all been there, or are there, or will be there...and many of us at different times in the journey. I'm further out than you are, but am having some of the same problems. I am so glad that you posted this because it also gave me some ideas as to what to do.
In addition to the foodie issues, I am having some major money issues and am having a hard time finding the funds to pay for the good food that I am supposed to be eating. I think I have worked this out, to an extent, but will have to really watch the budget for quite a while.
Of course, there is always the Carb Monster that is needed to be kept at bay.
Best of luck to you, and to all of us that are in the process of these battles!
Love ya, sweetie!
309/295/154.6/150 = Highest/Surgery Date/Current/Goal
(((Alayna))))
Nope, none of us are failures..........We are just human and make mistakes. .......I too was eating the same stuff day in and day out.....That's when the Carb Monster struck......But now I get in about 80g. or more of protein and I feel full and satisfied......The weight isn't really coming off either but I'm not gaining so that's good.
Yep, switch things up, try new things.......I think our bodies get used to eating the same things too.....And so we don't loose or gain.
At least your doing something about it.....Good for you.
Hang in there.....You look wonderful..........
Hope to see you at coffee.....I think a couple of us need a hug....
Kelly
Nope, none of us are failures..........We are just human and make mistakes. .......I too was eating the same stuff day in and day out.....That's when the Carb Monster struck......But now I get in about 80g. or more of protein and I feel full and satisfied......The weight isn't really coming off either but I'm not gaining so that's good.
Yep, switch things up, try new things.......I think our bodies get used to eating the same things too.....And so we don't loose or gain.
At least your doing something about it.....Good for you.
Hang in there.....You look wonderful..........Hope to see you at coffee.....I think a couple of us need a hug....
Kelly
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