Positive changes... and a few other thoughts - naturally, it's a long post.

Aside from the increased sex drive: 1.  Doing laundry costs less because my clothes are half the size they used to be, so more items fit in each load. 2.  I don't get sore from a day of walking around places like carnivals and festivals, or from a day of moving my stuff from one apartment to another.  I wake up feeling good the next day.   3.  I am less clumsy than I used to be.  I guess fit into space better, or realize my boundaries better, so I walk into things a lot less than I used to.  Fewer bruises! 4.  I have all these great protrusions all over my body.  I've heard people call them bones.  The first indication that I had bones just like other people, was the appearance of collar bones several months ago.  These days, I have found my hip bones, my tailbone,  shoulder blades, vertebrae, and ribs.  I have ribs!  Whoda thunk it? Here's a dilemma though.  I have a pool at my new apartment, and the one time I've been able to use it so far, I found out I don't float very well anymore.  Anybody else have to relearn how to float?  Anybody remember a book from their youth where a boy is scared of the water cause he doesn't know how to swim.  The boy is fat, and a friend or something tells him to think about himself in the terms of chicken noodle soup.  All the skinney noodles sink right to the bottom, while all the fat floats easily on top.  Therefore, as a fat person, he would have little to worry about.  I guess I'm becoming a noodle. here's another dilemma.  I am about 30lbs from goal, and generally wearing size large/extra-large clothing.  Intellectually, I know I'm much smaller than I used to be.  However, when I look at myself, I still see that person who weighs a hundred pounds more.  I still see a fat person in my shadows on the ground.  It's frustrating, cause I have a hard time believing people when they compliment me.  I even struggle with looking at the clothes that I wear these days and not assign them as fat clothes.  Pretty much the only time I can feel the change, or see the change, is when I am with my family.  They are basically all big people, so I can tell now that I am not as big as them anymore.  I don't want to compare myself to them though, cause I think that comparison leads to judgement.  I don't want to judge them. My cycle has changed, and it annoys me.  I used to be 4 weeks off, 5-7 days on.  I've lost an off week, so now I match with the average woman.  I hate that!  I feel like I'm always dealing with PMS, breast tenderness, or menstruation.

You are too funny!!!!! I understand about finding "protusions"" as I still can't believe I have a colar bone....tail bone... hip bones(under the dunlap of extra skin!!!! lol) and the funniest one to me.... My breasts were obviously bigger when I was heavy, but because of the size of my stomache... ya could't tell!!!! Now guess what!!!! Ya they are out there.... even if the look like they are wrinkly prunes when not held up!!! We have shape for the first time.

AS far as what you still see in the mirror....it takes a whole lot longer to change our self perception of our bodies, and ourselves, then it takes to lose the weight. I am sure you will hear this from more then just me... but I still see the fat girl....I still think of myself as the fat girl. I will always carry a few extra pounds. I have come to accept that and am okay with it. Because I am a whole lot healthier then I was before. however... I amin a size 10/12.. smallest I have ever been in my life.( I wasn't a size 10 when I was 10 lol) I don't think there are to many on here that don't see that fat girl...even those that have been the most successful... so you are normal...okay as normal as this bunch can be...lol.

Hope this helps.

It helps, thank you!

Hello Christi....love your avatar!! What a cutie...sexy cutie you are!! Congrats on al those awesome WOW moments! All the wonderful things we can do now. This surgery has changed every aspect of our lives that is for sure!! I have energy to burn....love, love , love it! I think our confidence in ourselves is so much better. We naturally just want to do more and more. The weight loss makes it so much easier to do all the things we missed out on for so long. I am sure you are looking great out there in the pool. I had the same problem until recently. I still saw myself as heavy. I didn't get it until one day I was at my daughter's and there were some pics on her fridge. I thought who is that little person? It was me! I for some reason just couldn't see myself that way. I am glad my mind has finally caught up with my body!! Yours will too. Have a beautiful day. Hugs, connie d

I know my skin is sure looser and droopier!  gotta spend more time in the pool and get some muscle toning in.  Borrowing on the pic of yourself you saw on your daughters fridge, I've been thinking that maybe I need to build a poster board of my transformation, and put it up in a place where I have to see it at least once a day.  I want to get over this poor body image thing, but I also have a fear of becoming a total narcisist.  Connie, you have done a great job with your tool, and you are a wonderful source of support.  Thank you!

Hi Christi!! Hoping I can help you with the self image thing.  It's starting to work for me but not sure how it will work for others... but it can't hurt to try and it's a boost either way! Each time you get a compliment - ACCEPT it! , enjoy it... and BELIEVE it!  Each time you notice something is different, take a moment to examine it.  We need to reroute our neurotransmiters to see the new us rather than the rut they have been in with the "fat mode" ..  we can't re-route them without practice and constant attention. So when you sit down, take a second to feel how the seat actually feels... the tailbone... the arms not crowding your sides in... When you walk, feel the spring in your step - look behind you and see that you made it so much further than you ever were able to!! Marvel in the newness and wonderfulness of it all!!  and the mirror will follow.  Take that time too and look at yourself - the new - the wrinkles - the way you really look.  If you study it, you will see it.  I saw it for the first real time when I caught a glimpse of myself while out shopping in a store window.  My jaw dropped. The next real WOW sighting was when I was on my walk and saw my shadow...  it was SMALL!  Hell, I used to take up half the lane with my shadow...  not anymore  :)  and there was a swagger to my walk  :) Try focusing on some of those things.  I swear it's HELPING!!! *hugs* and you look WONDERFUL!!!

I think that's the hardest thing, just standing in front of the mirror and looking.  I can do bits and peices some days, but I need to force myself to really examine what's going on in that reflection.  I know this sounds rude, but I need to take my picture with family and friends that I have previous pictures with, so I can compare myself to them basically.  Might help with getting a little perspective.  I often catch myself trying to fold myself up (crossing arms tightly, etc...) so that I take up less space when standing by other people.  I suppose it will all come around.  After all, it took a lifetime to learn all these behaviors and beliefs.  I can't expect them to all go away overnight. Thank you!