OT...online dating.. has anyone known of a long distance one working?

I met him for the first time in person in January of 2005 (YES, I brought a southerner to MINNESOTA in JANUARY! Dang, I'm good. lol) Then, I spent 3 months with him and his family after graduation from high school that year, he's been up here 2-3 more times, and I went down there once since then. We usually spend 1-2 weeks together when one of us travels, just to get our money's worth. Though, it's always tough financially because we splurge a lot together and it's basically like a vacation for both of us :)  And as for the southerner thing, what can I say, I've always been a sucker for the accent... The first meeting was.. yeah, it was a little awkward. :) In a good way though! I picked him up from the airport (after being delayed - OMG, thought I was going to die.) and then we went out to supper. It was kinda quiet, I felt like he was staring at me and I don't take compliments well because I'm so shy but it all worked out. Brought him home to meet the parents which was awkward for me, but he did great and they *love* him, then we watched a movie together. The next day was a LOT easier.

Diane, He's a very handsome man.  But I don't judge by looks anymore.  I married a Brad Pitt look-a-like and he turned out to be the meanest, abusive man I know.  So I've learned to not go by looks, but by personality only.  You can't tell what his personality is from his picture.  You can only tell that from his letters and calls.  My advice is to get to know each other really well before you meet.  Then before you take him to your place, meet in person, tell him he's staying at a hotel.  That way if you get any red flags in person, you don't have to worry about him being in your home with you, alone. Be very careful. Debi

Good Morning Debi,

I agree....I do not go by looks alone...and no he has already told me he will be staying in a hotel....he wants to get to know me....not coming for any other reason. I don't know when this will happen...but I do believe it will.

I have never had a man really want to know me....like this...it is new to me.

Hi Diane...... I have never dated anyone from that far away so I can't give you advice on that. He looks really nice......but so did Ted Bundy.....please be very careful. Now a days you just don't know! I hope he proves to be as nice and kind in person as he is now. I wish you the best of luck....you deserve it!!! Hugs, connie d

Thank you connie....

I am a little nervous... as never had anyome show interest in me like he has....it is new to me....

We will take it very slow, I like that.

Hi Diane,

 

I completely understand your mixed emotions.  I met my husband through eHarmony. when we met he lived in Kansas and i lived in New Hampshire.  After 3 weeks of emailing and talking on the phone we met in person.  Once we met in person we never spent more than 10 days apart.  If was costing us a fortune in airfare just to date (and that was a few years ago before gas prices went through the roof)!  I often joke that we had to get married because we couldn't afford to keep dating.  We met in February, got engaged in June and married in October.  This was in 2004.  Marrying Greg was the best decision of my life.  We are very happy.  

 

My advice would be to go into this eyes wide open. Introduce him to your family and friends as soon as possible.  Our families were freaking out and so worried that we were losing our minds, but once they met Greg and I met his family, everyone could see how in love we were and how very right we were for one another.  I also believe if there are any red flags folks at a distance may be more apt to see them.  

 

I don't want to bring you down, but I do want you to be cautious.  My story had a very happy ending.  A dear friend of mine met a man (not online, in person and he lived near her).  They date for years, got engaged and then months before her wedding we discovered he had a prison record!  Be careful.  Do your research. The internet is an easy way to do some preliminary research. Look after yourself and follow your gut instincts.

 

Have fun!  I hope this is everything you hope it is!!

Tracey 

 

P.S. Thanks for sharing his picture.  He looks like a very sweet man.   

Hi Tracy,

I don't know how you found me from MA to MN.. but I am glad you did.

I am keeping my eyes open...and TRYING to keep my feet on the ground......

And I am doing my research....I have a good friend in California who is helping me.....She only lives an hour away from him....that helps.

Thank you for the encouragement.

Hi Diane,

 

Greg and I used to live in MN and we both had our surgery at PNC.  Ask the gang from PNC about us.  They all know Greg and can vouch for what a great guy I found on-line.  I usually lurk on the MN boards and when I saw your post I just had to reply.  

 

Tracey 

Thank you... I am glad you did....makes me feel less crazy about this whole thing!!!!!!

While I want to wish you all of the best of luck with a new relationship, I also want you to be careful.  Its a little worrysome that he wants to up and come to MN so soon.  How long have you been communicating with each other?   I'm sure the majority of online dating people are true, good, honest people.  But its the minority that will always ruin it for the majority.  So be careful.  Public places - don't give TOO much information right away.  Be cautiously optimistic. I don't want it to sound like I'm raining on your parade.  But you really, really need to think first of your safety.  And that is a hard thing to do when someone is charming you!    Yes, I'm the mother of teenage girls.  can you tell that I've given this speech before?  :) I do wish you the best!  And I hope it works out for you and that he is a good, honest guy who treats you right! Kelly