The power of prayer (long)

As you all know I have had a recent difficult time in my life. My mom passed on May 22nd.  I was fine when we were doing the planning for the funeral. And I was perfectly normal when my family was here the week of the service. But as soon as they left it all hit my like a ton of bricks. And my house was empty. I miss my mom, and I miss my family. My heart was broken. I have went through extreme anxiety and depression when they left. I ended up calling in to work the following Mon, Tues, and Wed. I lied to my boss and told her I had a upper respiratory infection that my father gave me. Thursday night I just kept praying to God, "please help me... please help me." I went on the internet to just check to see if my sister had sent me photos. And there was an email from Tracy. It made me feel like I should call her to give her some support. It ended up she supported me. She came over to take me out for a walk. We never made it past me sitting in her car and breaking down. She then took me back into my house.  I told her I thought I needed to go to the hospital. I was that scared. I have never gone through anything like this before. The anxiety was so great that I couldn't sleep and my hands were shaking. I wondered how I am going to pay my bills since I don't have sick or vacation time to cover those days off. And my savings is depleted. Tracy called my dad (due to I just was not able to speak due to my crying fits) and told him everything that was going on and that I may get admitted to the hospital. He agreed to help me out financially. Then she called EAP for me (employee assistance program) to ask their opinion on what I should do. They had a therapist call me that same evening. I spoke to her and she helped me put things in to perspective. She made me realize that I have had a lot of changes in my life recently. I started working night shift and that has turned my world upside down. It conflicts with me being as social as I normally am. Then my mom is diagnosed with cancer and I had to deal with it long distance. Then she passes and I wasn't with her when she passed (this making me feel guilt that I wasn't there). Then my family was here, and I was okay... but suddenly they were gone and I was all alone. She ultimately told me that I need to take the sleeping pill my MD prescribed to me that morning and get a good night sleep. Then she told me to get in to see my MD on Friday. So, I did. Tracy came with me to that appointment as well.

 I also had Tracy call my boss and told her the truth about everything that is going on. I talked with her as well. She thanked me for telling the truth and hooked me up with my HR rep to get LOA. My doctor had me out of wor****il I got this under control. I am still very scared about my financial issues. Even though my dad said he'd help, I don't know think he knows how much I really will need to cover my bills. I am sooooooooooooooo much better now. I am almost my old goofy self. I am singing and laughing again. I stil cry from time to time; but I know that it is still going to take some time.  The point of this story is that I REALLY prayed... harder than I ever had... for help. God sent me Tracy, and everything else just followed. So thank you God for sending me my angel on Earth.... Tracy!!! And thanks to all of you who have also sent prayers up!!!  I know he listens.  I am going to try to be more active now that I am feeling better. I love you all!!! You are all the best!!! Thanks for all your support!!! Love ya! Lori

God Bless you Lori....we all love you!!! As for Tracy....she is such an awesome and caring person. I am so glad she is my friend!! Love and hugs....connie d

Thanks Connie! Hugs, Lori

Lori~I am so glad to hear that things are getting better for you!  Yes God does answer our prayers and he does carry us through the tough times we just have to be willing to stay in His arms instead of trying to do it ourselves.  I will continue to keep you in my prayers that your financial issues can be resolved as well.  I look forward to seeing you around again! Love & Hugs!  Nicole

Thanks Nicole. I love your new avatar gf. Awesome. Good luck on your date. Hugs, Lori

(((Lori))) I am so glad you posted! Keep the faith, it will all work out Lori.

THanks Amy! And thanks for the card. It lifted me up.  Hugs, Lori

Lori ~ I am so glad to see you and so happy that you are starting to feel better..  Lots of love and hugs to you my friend!

Thanks Dana! Hugs back to you! Lori

Thanks for posting this.  And prayers for your continued heart healing.  It is extremely difficult to lose a mother.  I still miss mine ALOT even after 21 years.  The pain is still there, but you will be able to live with the pain eventually.  Don't rush yourself -- you need to mourn your way on your time schedule.   XXOO