A message and an Update

I stopped by this site a few days ago and saw the note on Pearl.  Although I didn't personally know her, I had read her posts the last time I was here and I wanted to take a moment to express my sympathy.  It's hard to see someone go through such suffering, but to know that now it's over and that she is at peace..  I just pray you all find that comfort in knowing that she is at peace.

 For those who don't know me...  And for those who do and wonder where the heck I've been.. let me update you.  Sheree's journey has been an interesting one indeed.  Yep, my name is Sheree.  I had my gastric bypass surgery way back in April 2005.  At that point I weighed in at 351lbs.  I was able to totally loose 130lbs total.  I got pregnant with my daughter Rachel at 15 months post op and went into survivor mode as I had morning, noon and night sickness from the point as pregnant to the morning she was born.  All the way through people said that was ok, that my pouch would return to what it was, not to worry.. so I didn't.  I only gained 20lbs with Rachel, which was amazing, since I had gained 80lbs or more with my son.  I felt good, but didn't stop the eating that had gotten me through 9 months.  And the pouch didn't act like it was supposed to.. no dumping, no restriction.  So..  I gained... and gained..   and became more depressed with myself.  I failed this.  I had done some therapy, but stopped that.  I gave up.

So that brings me to where I'm at today.  I decided to not give up.  But find out what was going on with me.  I looked into the mechanics of things.  I asked for an Upper GI.  That showed although the pouch and stoma was a little larger than normal, it was within the accepted amount.  The tool is there.  So, it was time to go back to what was in my head.  I fough that realization alot.  I passed all the psych stuff for the surgery.  I had more and more panic attacks.   So I went to a psychiatrist.  I got diagnosed with bipolar with post traumatic stress disorder.  The PTSD stems from abuse from child hood.  The team I'm working with now feels that I can beat the addiction to food I have, which I think now I can too.

OK.. so...  if you are an newcomer reading this... don't let this scare you.  If I could go back to Sheree in 2005 to talk to her I would tell her to have the surgery.  It was a good thing to have.  But I would tell her to not just take that test and see the psychologist once.   Get into counseling and understand why you have the addictions you do.  Fix that reason.  The surgery just gives you a tool.  When the honeymoon stage ends, you will test your tool.  You fixed your body.. fix your head.  And..  don't be afraid to ask for help. 

For those wondering...  The kids are amazing.. Rachel is a wonderful 16 month old.  Growing ever so fast.   Jeremiah is 4 1/2.   Smart as ever.  They are both at home now as my hubby got laid off.  It's a good thing as they are both happy and healthy. 

Hello Sheree....yes Pearl's death was shock to all of us!!  Her death was because of Cancer and not WL related. Pearl's funeral is tomorrow....I hope some of the members here will be able to attend. I will be there. You have a full plate for sure......I am glad you are seeing someone and getting your thinking back where it needs to be. I will say a prayer for you.  This board is wonderful....you will not be judged! Your children sound adorable...you are blessed!! I wish nothing but the best for you and your family. Hugs, connie d

Well for goodness sake !! Im so happy to see you... and happy your finding your way back to us!! Now get back to coffees too! Hugs Linda

I remember you!  Long time no see.  It's good to see an update and glad to hear the kids are happy and healthy (and probably growing like weeds as kids tend to do! :).   Good luck with things and getting back on track with your tool.  Don't be a stranger! (((Hugs))) Michelle

I have been wondering about you, miss Sheree-I know that you had been struggling with regain.  I am so glad you went and found help, and know that the tool still works.  You had your surgery just before me, so we lost that 130 together.  I stopped losing, but haven't regained.  As happy as I am with my loss, I would still like to make that scale go down more-I am still clinically obese, and it frustrates me!!  So, I keep reminding myself that the tool probably isn't broken, I just need to get in gear and follow the rules.... Keep coming back here, and come out to coffee-especially Burnsville, since we aren't far from you.  It would be good to see you!!  Don't forget about group, too-either the first Tuesday in BV at Park Nic, or every Weds in SLP-you know you can always come. PM me if you like-I will be out of town this Weds thru next Tuesday, but after that if you need to talk or get together to walk, let me know! good luck- lynn

Happy to hear from you.  Glad you are coming back and that you have found some help to get you going again.  Those kidlets are tooooooo cute!!!! 

Hope to see you at coffee or group GF!!!  And remember -- you can bring the kids with...... XXOO