Ill try my best to explain ....

Lindaanne
on 6/9/08 8:01 am - SSP, MN

I have noticed since being thin.... a sort of attitude towards me from my daughters friends Mothers. Not all but its a feeling of almost instant snotty... before when I was heavy I was fully accepted and not thought of as........... I dont know what... but its a feeling of disaproval of me upon first look.

There have been three now.... I meet them and theres this feeling that I cant put my finger on but almost a imediate judgement?  Dislike? I mean if anyone knows me you know Im friendly... especially when meeting someone new...  I take alot of pride in my appeareance and making sure that my makeup is on ..hair done..somthing cute on.  But it seems now I am so surprised when I walk away from a first time meeting of someone thinking.... did I come across mean?  Somthing? Gosh this probably doesnt make alot of sense its hard for me to explain other than how it feels. Does anyone understand this or can relate? So... if anything this will help me make sense of it either by writing or having someone help me understand they the hey "it" is. Hugs friends

Start Weight - 263
       Current Weight
  135 and making it work for ME !
 

sweetsue617
on 6/9/08 9:46 am - Thunder Bay, Canada
Hi Sweetie~ Sounds like jealousy to me.  They accepted you when you were like 'them' and now that you're 'better' (in their eyes) you have become the object of dislike. How could anyone NOT like you?!!  Gosh, you're so sweet you're like to give people a toothache!  (Sorry--a Thunder Bay phrase for being so incredibly sweet.) I'm sorry that you have to deal with such petty people, and that they make you insecure.  I guess 'if you can't please everybody, then you have to please yourself'--from Rick Nelson's song "Garden Party'. (((HUGS))) and **SUE**
Lindaanne
on 6/9/08 9:58 am - SSP, MN
Thankyou for the wonderful comment...... I love your new avie! Like I told Ramona I guess I will have to learn to have a thicker skin... just confuses me. Hugs hon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Start Weight - 263
       Current Weight
  135 and making it work for ME !
 

mema_bechel
on 6/9/08 9:53 am - Cottage Grove, MN
Hi Linda, I think it is part jealousy and part not knowing what to say to someone who has been so successful at accomplishing such a goal. I find a lot of people at work think I either need to gain some weight back or go into the doctor to see what is wrong with me. They don't get it. It is okay for them to be skinny but I shouldn't be in the same clothes size or them, therefore something is wrong with me and they don't accept me as the same person. It is their shortcoming not yours. Just keep on being who you are and they will either come around or they won't. But it is no skin off your back if they do not, right?
Ramona

Lindaanne
on 6/9/08 9:57 am - SSP, MN
Listen young lady... I saw a pic of you and you look AMAZING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thanks for the feedback.. Im not a mean thin girl... Im not *****y... I still present myself as I did when I was fat, but the reception somtimes is lukewarm.   I guess I will toughen up my shell abit.... still hurts though. Hugs and once again you have done an amazing job soldiering on through this.... You are a soldier!!!!!!! hugs

Start Weight - 263
       Current Weight
  135 and making it work for ME !
 

Diamond Girl
on 6/9/08 10:24 am - Ham Lake, MN
Well from a currently MO person, I see thin ladies and instantly think "I've got nothing in common with them" and I shy away from getting to know them. I'm learning to not be so self-conscious but I always have this thought that they've got food figured out and they probably think I'm a slob...totally wrong no doubt, but it's from years of bad thoughts towards the skinny girls in my school who were *****es & who did make fun of the "pretty plus" girls. I don't know if I'd say it's jealousy but you are a very fun and witty person Linda and until someone gets to know you, they don't recognize that quality right away IMO. Just keep being nice and if it continues to bother you, maybe just ask them if everything's okay, etc. - they'll figure it out - just keep being you.
barbk
on 6/9/08 11:28 am - Eagan, MN
Um yeh -- been there.  And sometimes with WLS people too!!! Something just doesn't feel right and the old "talking behind your back" feeling comes-a-calling.  It's a bummer cause we are the same people we always were, just that we aren't as large.....Fustrating sometimes to the point of hurt.   Keep marching along -- the "snooties" will eventually warm up....... XXOO


Fitness is not about age or a size -- it's really about an attitude and life style!!!
Life is not measured by the number of breathes we take, but by the moments that take our breathe away~~

debim3
on 6/9/08 11:41 am - Roberts, WI
Linda, There's one lady at work that has always been the thin blonde.  Now I weigh 15lbs less than her and she gave me a pair of her capris that are too small for her (I secretly think she was hoping they wouldn't fit), they fit, but probably not for long as they are a little loose.  I know she's made comments to people about my weight and how she can't believe I weigh less than her.  I think she feels in competition with me.  Which she doesn't need to feel.  It's her insecurity causing that feeling, not me and not my insecurities.  So they may be feeling a little upset because maybe they want to lose 10lbs and can't and here you've lost so much and have kept it off and look put-together all the time. Just keep being you and the ones that see you for who you really are will be the ones you will really want to be friends with anyway! Hugs! Debi
HW 265 / SW 226.5 / CW 130.5 / GW 135
        
Marsha F.
on 6/9/08 12:11 pm
Oh sweetie ya know what i think I think that they are jealous of you and thats how they react......  I think your a very nice, sweet, caring,loving person, and if they can't see that then screw em.  Ya know it's weird people don't know how to treat us when were fat and they don't know how to treat us when were small.... what ever huh... You are doing amazing and look fricken great keep up the great work......lottsa hugs to you Marsh
 
Darla S.
on 6/9/08 12:55 pm - Maple Grove, MN
I remember years ago, there was a new naturalist with the Park District.  Petite, blond, pretty, I hated her.  Didn't give her the opportunity to prove to me she wasn't a stuck-up ***** (pardon the French). Time went by, and I found out she's WAY into doggies - and when she found out I had a Boston Terrier, she went out of her way to talk to me about him! Turns out she grew up with Bostons, and loved them a lot!  She gave me a Boston Terrier calendar for my January birthday every year for quite some time after that, and I found out that not only was she a really nice person, but she was also extremely shy!  Not a ***** at all!  Shame on me, is all I could say.  Maybe these other women are looking at you the way I looked at this gal. All I can suggest is to try to ignore those feelings, and just be YOU.  Maybe they'll open their eyes to the fact that you are more than a pretty, petite little thang?  Took ME a while to open my eyes, but either they'll get to like you, or they won't.  As long as you're true to yourself, you can't control that much. 


  Imperfect does not = unsuccessful

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