I know he's a kid but when do the comments stop?

I was at a friends house and she does daycare.  One of the little boys, who I see all the time says "Robyn, you have a big belly".  I just wanted to cry.  I held it in and tried to stay strong but I did cry when I got home.  When do the comments stop?  I have lost about 44 lbs since I started this journey and I feel like I'm making progress and yet, it doesn't seem like enough.  Is it ever? Robyn

Oh sweetie, know it will get better!  You will be working this tool and looking fab soon.  I know the comments hurt- I remember being at a park a couple years ago and a little boy behind me said " Daddy her butt is so big "  It was true, is true, but it hurt so bad to hear someone say it.  But for the most part at least the comments from young children are innocent enough- it's the adults that really should learn some manners and think about how they make us feel.  My brother in law  is a bad one for the "heavy jokes" and he doesn't understand how much they hurt! Especially when I am standing next to my "perfect sized" sister in law.

HUgs HUn!!!!!

Robyn, you are right at that point where you've lost enough weight now to send those hormones into overdrive, so you are going to be on the edge about comments and it's completely normal! This really is a self realization process and for me personally, I think it hurts worse to have others point out the truth. Afterall, I hid from it for so long. But just remember that you took the corrective action now and are turning over a new life but it's going to take a little time. Don't rush the weight loss, just follow your surgeon's plan and stay the course. Next year this time, you will not have that "big belly" so just stay the course and keep your chin up!

***HIJACK*** I love the new avatar Amy - super cute! I'd ask if you had any fun on your vacation, but this picture makes it pretty obvious!

Hi Robyn, kids can be innocently brutally honest, and often obvlious to the hurtful part of  saying what they see or feel.  Just be like a wet duck and let those things slide down your back. because VERY soon, you'll enjoy amazement of peoples' 'approving' glances, smiles, and I just will never tire of guys I don't know opening doors, and finally being generally kind to me after too much negativity during past years.  The myriad of mixed emotions on this roller coaster ride can be overwhelming, although I'm so grateful having had a three years-plus relationship with a licensed psychologist who specializes in WLS.  Great getting the objective rapport, professional insight, and goal implemention for a successful journey. Best of the best to you going forward, and regarding hurtful comments from children or adults, just consider the source, and don't let strangers determine who you really are!  Be strong, stay positive, and keep focused on the bright discovery of the ever-emerging 'new you!'  Hugs galore, Patti

We've all had those moments, heard those comments, and been hurt.  I still feel the paranoia when I'm entering a situation where I fear hearing it - like the other night at a Holiday station, where a half dozen teenage boys were just hanging.  I was SURE I'd hear some smart ass comment, 'cuz that's just the way it has always been.  But this time, one of those boys opened the door for me, smiled, and then went back to his conversation - which I could hear had NOTHING to do with ME!  The relief I felt was excessive to the threat of being the butt of their cruel comments.  But I'm conditioned to fear it, and so are you. All I learned to do when a child would make an innocent comment was to say - "yes, I am fat" (or big, or huge, or whatever word they used).  I mean, truth is truth, and we have to learn to NOT let it hurt us.  Especially now that we're DOING something about it!! You ARE making progress.  The comments WILL stop.  But the paranoia?  Maybe not so much...

Robyn~I have gotten the same thing from my nephews and while it is hard to hear I have simply learned to say yes my tummy is big, but I am working really hard by eating good foods and exercising so I can get healthy.  My sister helps to explain it to them as well but both my mom and I still get the comments from them (my mom has also been overweight/obese most of her life).  Just remember that they are children and perhaps they do not have many people in their life that are larger and so to them it is something new and we all know how children are with something new!  (((Hugs))) Don't let this get you down just keep reminding yourself of all the wonderful work you are doing!  ~Nicole

Reminds me of a WC Fields reply when someone said to him "you are fat." "Indeed I am, but you are ugly and tomorrow I can diet" While I wouldn't say it, I think it and that makes the situation a bit more tolerable.  Like Darla said, we are all conditioned to hear those comments...therefore you will probably be keenly aware of the time when it stops and you will post it as a wow moment. People are ignorant and kids pretty much live in the moment.  When an adult says something, they are proving how insensitive they are.  When a kid says something, they are making an observation, not trying to be insulting.  Either way the comments ALWAYS hurt, but what they don't know is that you are on your way down.  How much better is that then hearing it on your way up. Paul

Oh honey, I know they hurt -- but the innocent comments by kids don't have the "savy" to keep their mouths from opening.  I used to turn around and say "that's what happens when you eat too many snacks so listen to mommy and eat the right foods".  Usually that got a smile from the adult too!!!   And if we weren't overweight, we wouldn't have had the surgery.  It hurts to hear it, but you will get sooooo many more comments about how much you have lost and how good you look soon.  And the number of those comments will FAR FAR FAR outweigh the other comments you have every heard. My grandson had come over to get a dvd from our house with his ass of a sperm donor but the one he wanted wasn't at our house.  He asked me to go search grandpa's office for it and I told him that was grandpa's office and I don't search through grandpa's stuff.  He was disappointed but okay and left with a different dvd and a hug and kiss.  But his father said to him "maybe grandma should lose some weight so her fat ass can make it downstairs to grandpa's office to look".  What a thing to tell a 7 year old.  And this was one month after my surgery when I had lost 35 pounds.  As a light weight, 35 pounds is 1/3 of my weight loss and I HAD BEEN feeling pretty DAMN good up to that point!!!  Koleby was upset enough about the comment that he told me.  That one REALLY stung!!!   Remember, it is your family and true friends that count on the comments -- not others who aren't important to you any way..... Hormones suck but at least you know the emotional part of this means you are losing more weight.   Keep on going -- the ride has its ups and downs -- the benefits will sooooo be worth it!!!  Doing great --keep on marching toward your goal!!! XXOO

Robyn, I'm so sorry, but I had to giggle when I read this, only because it reminded me of when I was working at Gymboree and a little girl, probably about 4 years old, came up to me and said, "You've gotta big butt."  Everyone in the store heard it and her mother wanted to crawl in a whole.  I could have gotten upset, but instead I turned to her and said, "You know what, you're right, I do have a big butt."  It kinda of put everyone at ease to realize that this wasn't "big" news to me and that I wasn't offended by it. At any rate, keep reminding yourself of that comment, and let it be the fire that fuels your desire to follow the plan every step of the way.  44 pounds is a LOT of weight to have lost already and even though you can't see it in the mirror - you have to know that your body is already changing a great deal and eventually you will see it. Unfortunately, one of the hardest things to come to grips with on this journey, is that our heads are so screwed up.  The mental and emotional toll that this journey takes on us is far bigger than anyone can really prepare you for.  Your head sees one thing even though it's far from the truth.  Listen to those comments from friends that DO see the difference and keep those in the forefront of your mind.  Pull those comments out when you're having a hard time seeing it.  And I PROMISE you that there WILL come a day when you'll be walking past a store front window or a mirror and you will not recognize the person looking back at you.  You will stand there for a moment, trying to get your head to reconcile with what it's seeing and then it will hit you - that's your very first WOW moment.  You can actually see the changes happen.   I pray that happens soon for you, because rest assured your body is changing even if you can't see it yet. Stay strong!  Shake It Off and Step Up! Hugs, Tracy