Healing...

Last night I was given a huge gift by God, I was given the opportunity to talk to a man that has helped me to feel safe and loved around men - and he had no idea of how he had impacted my life. Reader's Digest version ... Years ago I was raped.  I didn't tell anyone.  I blamed myself.  A while after that, I married a man that was physically, emotionally and sexually abusive.  I was married for 5 years and for 4 years after the divorce, he stalked me, he kidnapped my kids, he threatened to kill me repeatedly.  Needless to say, I have had issues with men and trust and safety.  Over the last year, God has helped me to forgive these 2 men and to let go of the shame, bitterness, and fear that has been running my life for so long.  Now, something that I would never tell any one, I tell whoever asks or wants to hear.  I am honored to be able to share the changes in my life and give ALL the glory to God for them. Last night the opportunity came up for me to tell Gary how his hugs over the years made me feel.  At first, scared.  But eventually safe.  And then how much I looked forward to his hugs and kind words.  And how now I know that I can be touched and feel safe and loved.  And how thankful I am for him in my life, showing me love even when I was unable to accept it or give it.  This dear sweet man cried as I spilled my life out to him.  He held me and told me he loved me and how much he wants to protect me.  No, this is not a man I could ever date, he's a father figure to me, but I do love him and will always love him for how he's changed my life. Getting the opportunity to tell someone how they've made a positive impact in your life is a wonderful gift.  If you ever have the chance to tell someone how they've changed your life, do it!!  Don't wait for the "right" time or for the right words or for the courage to say personal things - you'll be given the words and the courage to open up yourself to the other person.  It will change you and the other person. I guess my point is that I am so grateful for my life, for my health, for my friends, for the surgery I had, for the healing I've had inside and out.  I'm just feeling so thankful today and a little emotional and a whole lot loved.  I wanted to share that no matter what you've been through in your past, you can be restored and redeemed! Loving you all, Debi

Debi,        Thank You for sharing something so personal. It brought tears to my eyes.           I'm so glad you have moved on in your life, and have had such a positive impact from this man.  ((HUG)) Kelly

Kelly, The more I've shared, the more I've come to know that what I thought had only happened to me, has happened to so many of us.  There are so many hurting women out there - hurting from every kind of abuse imaginable - feeling alone and scared.  I just wish I could hug them all and tell them they are not alone.... Debi

Debi~Thank you for sharing this with us.  It is amazing what a difference one person can make in our lives!  I agree with you and plan to be more mindful of lett ing people know how grateful I am for what they have done in my life.  I am so glad that you have been able to forgive and heal from the scars of your past.  I agree that no matter what we have been through in our past there is always healing and love waiting for us!  Love & Hugs! Nicole

I am constantly learning and changing.  I am trying to speak in love more and to share and be completely open and honest.  It's hard, but so worth it!

The healing is the toughest part..But it is so worth the pain we go thru to see the other side...

You are so right Diane.  I never really realized how much this affected my life until recently and now that it's gone, I have so much inside me to share and love.  I lost so much the night of the rape, but I've been given back a 1000 times more than I lost!

Isnt God great?  Second in line arent freinds wonderful???? Im so thankful you have reached this point of calm and peace in your life. Good post thank you!

Yes, God is great!!!  Thank you!  I know this really isn't OH related but I just had to share.  I felt I was going to burst this morning!  I was just so thankful and needing to tell someone!

Well, that there is what I call a Godstop (thanks to Beth Moore)! I just want to hug YOU til you drop!!!

You are very brave and I commend you for stepping out on faith. You will no doubt impact the life of others by now being able to share this and you have faith backing you up - ain't it great?! Love you!