Just so you all know...

what a horrible person I am.  Here is the link to the message.  http://www.obesityhelp.com/forums/MN/a,messageboard/action,r eplies/board_id,4825/cat_id,4425/topic_id,3526048/page,1/ I didn't think I was being a bit**.  I was making fun of myself because I seriously don't think I will EVER get to that weight.  I have never EVER said anyone on here was too thin.  I think you all look beautiful and I do dream of acheiving even half the success you have had.  I'm not jealous, I'm not envious, I'm truly proud of you.  And whether she believes I get it or not, I do, I freak when I see the numbers go up right now.  That's not the right direction, I understand and I don't want to get out of control either. I even messaged her and apologized and she was okay at that time, but apparently not.  I was worried about her putting more pressure on herself as she was the one to say she needed to lighten up.   I just wanted to say my peace as I believe I'm being made out to be a horrible monster.  I said one thing and it wasn't even making fun of someone else....it was of me.  Okay, I'm done.  I won't bother anyone on here again.  Be blessed all, it was fun while it lasted.  Love you all, I truly do!

First, I have to admit - there's a part of me that really just wants to stay out of this.  And maybe I should, but it's just not entirely like me to keep my mouth shut.  Sometimes it is, but not always.  Being in the middle of a similar "ordeal" with the other troop leader I have loved and worked with for the past 9 years, I guess I'm just feeling a bit introspective today... I just want to say that I think this drama (for lack of a better word) is very sad.  A board like this is prone to the misunderstandings and misinterpretations so common with email and text messaging - only it leaves those affected to sit and think and stew over what they believe was intended, what was behind the words that were said.  (Notice how this truly does apply to people on both sides of a conflict?) You know what they say about the word "assume", right?   I don't want anyone to feel hurt by what someone else says here.  I mean, if there's just NO MISTAKING the malice in a comment, well, that's one thing.  Hard NOT to feel hurt if that's the case.  But I think it's probably healthier to try to take anything and EVERYTHING in as positive a way as possible.  Not always easy, since we formerly fat folks have had long-lived and deeply ingrained issues with self-esteem as it is, but it IS a much healther mindset to be in.  Even if it means tucking one's tail between their legs and accepting some measure of responsibility for whatever the rift is over, for whatever side of it they're on. And I hope like the dickens that no one will actually leave, vacate or abandon this board!  There is too much GOOD to be had here!  Yes, there are the occasional "dramas", but overall, I think this place plays a GINORMOUS role in the success of everyone who uses it to their advantage!  We've all read how people who participate in some kind of support group are MUCH more successful with their WLS than those who don't.  Every single one of us has WAY too much at stake to flush the benefits of this board down over what is, primarily, a misunderstanding. Okay, down off my soapbox again, tail between my legs, hoping like the devil I didn't **** anyone off with my thoughts!   And in the exceedingly wise words of Big Kenny, "LOVE EVERYBODY"!

Hi Darla ~ Thanks for your words.  I too am one that would not normally join in on any sort of 'drama' and you have taken the words from my mouth.    I just wanted to add that there have been a few times that I have gotten response, as well as given one that my 1st impression is to dwell a bit thinking.."how should I respond to that..." or..."Was that ok to say....?!...yada...yada   My next thoughts are...  "I have not done anything wrong to this person and it was most likely not intended as I read.."  My next thought is to...  'LET GO, LET GOD" We are all adults here and have this common bond that ties us together and it would be more benificial for us to be on a united front vs enemies. Love and Hugs

Everybody just needs to stop.  This is not very supportive right now girls!!!  I want to come on this board and hear stories of successes, see support for each other, have people ask questions, etc.  I don't want to see fights, people going back to emails, and having people feel bad. Why can't everybody just get along?  Things could be sooooo much worse for all of us!!  We should be thanking our lucky stars we are not going through what Lori P is right now.  We should thank God we have each other.  With all of the disfunctional families we all complain about, the marriages that could be breaking up, the mental stress and depression that can happen, what is it going to take to just STOP!!!   PLEASE!!!!  This can't be helping anyone!!!  Enough has been said on the subject -- whoever has been properly spanked and/or had a butt kicking.  Now let's all move on with life!!!   TOGETHER!!!! XXOO

Honestly.... I have no idea what's going on because there are too many messages....but in the  interest of helping or at least commenting, I will type what a popular radio psychologist (Dr. Joy) always says: "Be curious, not furious" whenever  something happens.... go into it "stupid and cheerful" and ask questions instead of assume. :-)

(((((Pam))))).....I am just going to type what is going through my head at this point. If ANYONE has a problem with it...hit the block button or PM ME!! I am a very blunt person, that's just ME! I wouldn't change it for anything, because I am who I am... love me or hate me, I don't know how to be anyone else, nor would I EVER want to be!    My first thought reading this post was...... WOW, I don't want any part of this childish crap on here... I was honestly thinking about closing my account.  Then I thought NO...this is going to be my support group, my "HAPPY" place to turn, so I felt I needed to blog.  I know very well some day this will more than likely happen to me, it can happen to anyone who blogs on a message board.  We don't always agree with each other, everyone has their own opinion and that makes us all unique.  Sometimes I open my mouth and insert my foot... I don't intend to hurt anyone's feelings or step on any toes, sometimes I am misunderstood.  Everyone I know has done it at some point in life... we are HUMAN and this is WHY God invented the apology I would say. I have never met a perfect person, in MY reality it doesn't exist on Earth.  Everyone has the right to speak their mind....you said what you said, you apologized. You held your self accountable for your actions, that is what I try to teach my children to do. Really in all reality what more can you do?  I don't know why this is all coming out after it appeared to be resolved... I hope you do not leave us!! I do believe that there is ONLY ONE true judge and that is God.  (My God is not going to send you to hell for saying something and apologizing.)  He has bigger fish to fry!!  I hope you have a very HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!     

Well Pam... first off I would like to thank you for putting out my private messages to you for everyone to read.  Secondly, in SANDY's post she stated someone was hurting someone else.  I identified with it and stated so.  No names.

But since you decided to bring this out to an unbelievable level of humilation and grandstanding for your own sick pleasure...have at it. I am furious..... Im relieved you are leaving..... I can not believe in your world you thought this was ok. I have been nothing  but supportive to people and even you. YOU were not mentioned in my response to her.   Now that you have put me out there... well.... Im disgusted at such "base" thinking and lack of class. NOW... since no one else needs this uncomfortable atmosphere....maybe you could get some attention elsewhere.   Its called a block button... use it I plan to. For anyone else I profoundly appologize for this..... I hope that my past actions speak louder than what Pam as brought up in her skills of "cutting and pasting"  Im floored that a grown woman is behaving this way. I will not say another word on this poor supportive board....  Hopefully we will carry on as usual and be supportive to all and help others learn about our wonderful gift of WLS. Hugs friends. Linda

I sit here reading with my jaw on the floor.  Not because of the situation, but because of how you all acting about this.  I really think that this could have been handled involving only the people that needed to be.  It seemed to be resolved between Linda and Pam.  If either party didn't feel it was then perhaps they should have talked it thru again.   That said, Pam I love you and hope you don't leave this place.  I do think that it was probably not a good idea to paste the messages from Linda...JMO....but it doesn't mean I think any less of you. Linda, I don't know you, but this is a little harsh and it is hard for me to read that you would prefer that Pam leave the board.  Sandie, I love you, I look up to you and I know you look up to Linda, but I think your words were strong and stirred up a lot of emotion from everyone.  But really,  what did those words have to say to everyone else on the board?  I am one of those people who aren't using their tool properly, and your words left me wondering if you were speaking about me.  Until more about the situation came out. I really think that being the good christian women that you all are,  you all know that this could have been better resolved. WWJD???? As a good friend said to me a while ago.....girls.....please.....pull up your big girl panties and let this pass.  KISS AND MAKE UP! ***I do not intend on hurting anyone by this posting.  If I do, please feel free to talk to me about it.  I don't want my words to be misunderstood and would appreciate an opportunity to talk about it to clear the air.

Know what's funny 'bout this - Sandie's post wasn't about ANY of the people that have posted to Pam's thread. hmmmmm interesting There is a lot of recovery going on when people lose significant amounts of weight (at 30 pound intervals from what I have learned) in all sorts of different aspects of their life. There is a lot of emotions. I think when one feels the need to post and it's very emotion-filled, before hitting the Submit button, maybe take a minute or two or five and think it over. Is this really being supportive/helpful. We all know this website is called ObesityHELP. Now even more recovery will occur because there are at least 4 people I know of who are extremely hurt by the recent posts. I hope in whatever way works for all of you who are hurting right now, you find comfort and your way back to this board when the time is right for you. I know I miss the "old" board, the way it used to be when I signed on a year ago or so...full of Q&A, insight, knowledge, and support. God be with each of you during this period. xoxo

I've been sitting here thinking....and PM'ing. To those involved................................... Pam, I love you and I hope you don't leave the boards!  But I do think it was wrong of you to post the messages between you and Linda.  I think she said those things to you in confidence.  But keep reading......we are human and we make mistakes. Linda..... I don't know you very well at all.... but you are an inspiration to Sandie and to a lot of people on this board, myself included...... and I NOW see more of the whole story.  I did not realize as I assume most people on this board; that this was not directed at Pam.  It was a result of another incident.   Pam however didn't.  And it is sad to see that Pam is feeling the way she does about it. Sandie.... I love you and always will.....afterall you are the reason I went for the WLS in the first place and even tho I'm not "using my tool properly"  I'm still a better person and healthier than ever.  I am a better person because of you and I thank you for that!  I would have NEVER had WLS if it weren't for you.  With that said, I hope that we can all move on without having resentment or anger towards another.  This is a HUGE mistunderstanding, that needs to have closure. I, like all of you come here for support.....let's get back to that!!!!!  We ALL struggle no matter where we are and we need to remember that and help eachother be successful!!!!!  Like Amy said.....it is Obesity HELP....... Again, I don't mean to hurt anyone by my post and if you want to PLEASE PM me and we can talk about it.