Comments that hurt.......LONG

Apology TOTALLY accepted although NOT necessary.  I did not take offense to it.

First off, let me say, if I was someone that made a comment that upset them, I am sorry.  I don't think I have, but I'm not at goal yet and don't know what maintainence is like, so I may have without really thinking, and for that I AM truely sorry.  I look up to all of you that have done so well and met goal.  I appreciate the advice that you have given and the support that you have provided.  I have had my struggles (am going through some of them right now) with sticking to the program, but I get past that and jump back in and more weight comes off.  So many of you have been such an inspiration to me - Sandie, Linda Ann, Darla, Barb...I could go on, but don't mean to say the rest of you haven't either.  Even those of you that haven't had surgery yet, your excitement and perserverience (sp?) to get that surgery has been amazing - Amy & Peach, to name a couple.  You have had your struggles even to get to surgery, yet you are here to support the rest of us and give advice that is, many times, SO NEEDED! Now, with that said, can I say something that I hope won't hurt anyone....do you remember what it was like before you hit goal?  You were so focused on what you were doing and going through that maybe there was someone else that had hit goal, and only knowing where you were in the process, not knowing what it was like at that end of it yet, said something that might have hurt?  Maybe that person said something out of concern for the other person.  I don't know what was said, or who said it to whom, and I really don't want to know, but remember - we all come to this board knowing what happens where we are NOW, not in the future, and it may have been just concern for the other person that came out wrong.  I love all of you gals and hate to see things like this happening.   Later!

Hey Dear!  I remember back....I watched Linda Anne and got to meet her and see how "little" she was and Thought "WOW, I can only hope", never did I think "too skinny" or be jealous.  After getting to know her, listening to her wisedom(at sometimes not right away but eventually, and getting my butt chewing for not following the rules)I was so HAPPY FOR HER that she made it cause it gave me hope that I too could reach my goal.  SO, when I posted this, I wanted to let people SEE that HEY don't be jealous, say things, ect as we are all in the same boat.  BUT we all have (as Teri mentioned) different body types, ect.  NEVER COMPARE but rejoice with!! HUGS!

Laurie J, I've got to say - my reaction to being included on your list of inspiring people?   ...THUD 

You are an inspiration to me, and probably to others as well.  Just because you aren't at goal yet, or that you are "an amazon"(to quote you) doesn't mean you aren't an inspiration to us.  Your attitude and advice is so wonderful on here - and your wow moments - and the things you do and how excited you get about them (most recently - the horseback riding) because you are now able to do them again give many of us hope and that boost that we need to keep going - so we can be like that too! (Ooops - forgot - here are some smelling salts to get you to wake up)... Ok - now that you are awake - go back to the top and of this comment and read it....

My turn...i can relate to pam because I remember preop some people complaining that they only lost a pound or two and i was going crazy 'cuz i was gaining. i think everyone has their own outlook. I normally do not choose to comment on my thoughts much because I have a hard time trying to expalin my self. I once was what people called too skinny. But I think that was only because I was to big before that. Some people say things thinking they are helping and only have a good intent. Others say things because they don't think before they speak. Others like me tend to keep alot of my opioions to myself. I have yet to see a person on this board that looks to thin. If I had a close friend that I was concerned about, I probably would mention it.

I hope pam doesn't leave. My brother use to slug me but i forgave him. I think we are an extended family who is high on emotion because of how dear this road is to each and everyone of us.

Love to all!

Yes, we should all examine our words before we speak them.   Hugs

It really is wise to think before one speaks.  I am 2 weeks post op today... and have felt like I have had to defend my decission to have WLS more than once already.  It hurts and makes me angery!

If I could have done it on my own I would have- tried for many years and failed- diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, joint pain.... Was I suppose to just accept them because my BMI was only 40.5 or in the words of others " don't look like I should qualify for the surgery" or "if you would have just seriously tried to lose 20 lbs you would have felt better"- Hello? How many times did I need to lose 20lbs and gain back 25lbs before enough was enough!

Perhaps it is meant as a compliment, but when something means alot to you and people are saying I should not have done it- it puts my defenses up!

Walk a mile in my shoes- 5ft 2inches- with 225 lbs packed on!  I was slowly killing myself!  I am praying WLS has given me the tool to take my life back!

Sorry for ranting Sandra- good post- hope people read it and think before they say things that hurt instead of being supportive!

I can relate to you too!  Pre op I had a few people saying the same thing "are ya sure ya tried everything" GRRR......but then to get to the other side and people say "you're too thin, what do you have to complain about, ect" and it feels the same!   GOOD RULE: LISTEN< THINK< then perhaps SPEAK.......what may sound like a compliment can be a double edged sword! HUGS!

WOW - get busy for a day and BAM!   Three pages of replies?  Sandie, my precious, you certainly did strike a chord!   I  hope that everyone on all sides of this issue learn from it. So many thoughts while reading these posts, I would like to share just a few.

First off, to those boobs who asked me "are you sure you tried everything?"  I once said "Well, I couldn't find a doctor who would wire my mouth shut, so - yeah, probably!"    stupid questions deserve smart a$$ answers... As for comments about being too thin?  Okay, I don't THINK I've been guilty of offending anyone here, but if my referring to you (Sandie) or Linda as "pipsqueaks" (or whatever other term of endearment I may have come up with) was taken as being insulting?  I AM 1000% SO SORRY!!!   I say things like that in a light hearted way, I would NEVER say anything maliciously to anyone I so look up to and admire!  I mean - I'm an Amazon, I know that, I accept that, and I'm FINE with that!  If I ever get down to the same BMI you highly successful WLS people are at, I will still be relatively ginormous!  It's okay, little old ladies at the grocery store appreciate my vertical reach just about every time I shop.   Seriously, we all have a fairly similar history of obesity.  Some of us have suffered from it our whole lives, some of us have experienced life as a "normal" size person, but somewhere along the line found ourselves gaining more or less uncontrollably.    Regardless, we've all come here to find support and wisdom and inspiration in our attempts, mostly through WLS, to lose weight and become healthy. We are all at different stages of this journey, and we all need to respect each other for where we are - newbies, pre-ops, "grads" who are struggling to maintain, people who are doing pretty darn well but not "there" yet.   Even with all our similarities, we are all on a very personal journey.  We all deserve respect for our efforts, and we all have to be mindful of the things we say, even if they weren't meant to be hurtful. Stepping down from the podium, and wishing you all a FANTABULOUS WEEKEND!!!