Finally went to a therapist today - LONG

So I went to a therapist today. I heard she had worked with post-WLS peoples, so that's good. I really liked her. I'm going to share what she had to say because I t hink it will be good for me to admit, and I suspect there has to be at least someone else that may be going through these things. First things first, I started explaining to her who I am and my background. After 10 minutes, she asked me why I was there, because most of the people that come to her usually aren't functioning well and I seemed to be fine and had all my crap together. I then told her about my food issue: carb binging. I explained my fat history and my WLS and how I currently see myself. She told me that she would not have known I was ever fat and that I "look perfectly normal now". But she said that I still see myself as a fat person, I'm still eating like a fat person, I'm still thinking like a fat person. She's right - I do. We made an agreement for me to stop eating chocolate - period. I told her that I would, though it would be difficult. She reminded me that I've done it before and even though it would suck, it would get better for me. She said that if I got rid of all the candy, that I would lose the 10-15 pounds that I've gained since my lowest weight. She also said I need to exercise, and walking my bullmastiff/lab dog doesn't count. I need aerobic exercise. I told her that I had started Zumba and was looking forward to continuing it. She told me I knew what I needed to eat and not eat, that I'd been dieting all my life. True. I'm sabotaging all my hard work after WLS by binging and grazing all day, because I don't believe that I deserve to be skinny. She asked me at one point if I'd ever been hit on by a guy since I got "skinny". I honestly told her no. She looked at me funny and I told her that I really didn't know how to flirt anyways, so that maybe I didn't know what to look for? I can't recall any guys being overly friendly or complimentary.  She wants to see my MMPI.  I told her that I probably faked the questions, and she told me that no one can really fake it - that it's a pretty good test.  So my goal for the next 2 weeks are to NOT EAT ANY CHOCOLATE and to keep a food log for 1 week (which I'm absolutely terrified of doing, because I don't want to know how bad I've been). I need to step up the exercise, which I'll be doing by going to Zumba classes. Wish me luck and hopefully I didn't overshare.

Farrah, you know I'm still on the preop side of life, and I just wanted to thank you for sharing this! You know what, I messed up this month, too. I found chocolate and it hasn't left me. I am not looking forward to seeing the NUT tomorrow for the 5 month check in. But, I'm going to be honest with her because it's all part of the process. I think you are in the right direction now! Doesn't that feel wonderful? Keep in touch here and I will be thinking of you! If you'd like to have an accountability partner for NO CHOCOLATE, I'm game!

Well, it wasn't just this month that I messed up.   It's been at least 6 months where I've been eating chocolate non-stop - thus most of the weight gain. I'd love to have a No-Chocolate Partner! That's awesome!

Hey Farrah~ Can I be a 'No-Chocolate' partner too?  I admit that I've been imbibing way too much chocolate and other carbocrap.  I need to be accountable.

Hey Hon!  Thanks for sharing!  Sounds like you have a great therapist!  YOU ARE WORTH IT! Hugs!

Farrah~Thank you for sharing this with us I think you are right that there is probably at least one person here who needs to hear what you heard today because I am one of them.  I battle everyday against my "fat person" eating habits.  I just started training for a marathon in October and so I am trying to retrain my brain to think like an athlete, but isn't easy by any means.  It takes a lot of courage to admit what you did to your new therapist and also to share it with us.  It may be a long and winding road, but I believe you will conquer your "fat person" thinking and eating because by seeing the therapist you have taken the biggest step and admited you have a problem and want help fixing it.  If you feel so inclined please continue to share with us this part of your journey.  ~Nicole

Thanks for posting this Farrah!  Your therapist sounds really great and good at what she does!!! Good luck with the changes you are making - sounds like a great plan! :) (((hugs))) Michelle

Thank You for sharing this.....Were all human and make mistakes, I know I've had my share lately. It's great your doing something about it. Stick with it, and I bet you will take off those pounds. Keep us updated.  Kelly

Young lady, YOU ROCK!!! You are taking the nasty chocolate bull by the balls and tellin it to get slaughtered!!  Wierd frame of mind, sorry. Good luck, you CAN do this. Anyone that can eat pizza out of a magic bullet shortly after surgery can do anything. HUGS, Karen, Princess Nemi and Laurie

Thanks Karen! My best to Laurie and Nemi!