Ugh..... help....

I need you all right now.... my optimism is starting to wear off and I'm  getting really scared.... 6 days until surgery. --I am scared it's not going to work
--I keep thinking I could've done this by myself  if I only stuck to it long enough
--I am afraid of slippage and all those once-in-a-while risks of WLS
--When I tell people I am getting it, they look at me with this "Oh really? Oh I'm sad for you" look I went to a support group today and it, honestly, kind of got me down.
A few people had long-term issues, others had found clever ways to eat around their band. I know I shouldn't be down....  I know I am ready: --I am very serious and strict about changing my health habits for life
--I have support here -- even though most of you are RNYers, I feel that you all, more than ANYONE ELSE, know that there is NO messing around with this... sometimes you have to cut some food and make rules. And you all realize we won't die without pizza or pasta or ice cream!! UGH... this must be the jitters....man oh man are they hitting hard.... I called my mother and cried my eyes out today. Hopefully tomorrow will be easier. Otherwise my sister is going to have to deal with my crying.

I understand your fears. I understand you questioning your decision. You wouldn't be human if you didn't.

As far as the sad looks... many people don't understand what we've been thru to lead us down the path to WLS. Some think we are taking the easy way out. We all know there is nothing easy about it.

Hold your head up, ask yourself am I making the best decision for MY health? I think we know the answer. Keep going forward, it will get easier in time.

I use to hide the fact that I was having or had this surgrey. I no longer do... I am proud of my decision to take my health into my own hands and doing something about it. I am proud of my accomplishment. You will be to.

I will be thinking about you on the 13th, if I don't see you before.

Elena!! ((((HUGS)))) If it is any comfort to you, EVERYONE, deals with this to some degree right before surgery.  Its not uncommon to feel this way. Just know, that right now, you are mourning the loss of what you have been used to, used to eating a certain way, being a certain way and a lifestyle.  NOW you are changing, your body is going to be changing and YOU will be changing.  (PLUS you are on the liquid diet!!) Its all for the good!!!   WIth any surgery, there are always fears and doubts.  BUT know that  you have made this decision to better your life!!  Right now you may not see it, but when you get through all this and get to the place that you are happy with, you will look back  and be soo thankful you did this.  You are a BEAUTIFUL women now, just wait until you get to where you want to be!! I am soo excited for you!! This wait can be agonizing, but try to keep busy!!!!!  I can gaurantee this will help you.  I tried to clean, go for drives, go out.  Anything to keep me busy.  I was soo emotional right before surgery.  But I knew that it was because I wasn't going to be able to eat the way I was used to AND I was no longer going to be able to hide behind my weight anymore.   Hang in there!!!  I am praying for you!! Love ya!!

Elena,      Hang in there.......It will work.......Everyone goes through this before surgery........     Sometimes support group gets me down too.......Just be strict with yourself. This is a life long commitment to be healthy, this is only a tool, it will take hard work and determination. But I know you can do it.     I think you are beautiful now, I can't wait to see how gorgeous you will be after loosing the weight. And someday when your on TV as a news person, I'm going to say,"I know her."     That's what Mom's are for.......I'm sure she is very supportive & caring. Take care and hang in there, Kelly

Elena... Like the other two have said..these thoughts are very normal. I myself an a lapbander. I know exactly what you are thinking.  Especially the slippage part. But every surgery ahs its risk. You will do awesome.  Dont let other peoples looks get to you..just remember you are doing this for you, not for them, beacuse you want to get healthy and live a long energetic life.  About thinking you could have done this on your own if your tried longer...as Missy always tells me look how long you have already been trying and what you had to do to get this far.  Its a good thing we have such a GREAT support system here! You can do this..Go get them g/f!! Brea

YOU ARE SOOOOOOO TOTALLY NORMAL!!!  We all "diet" one more time, wonder if we could do it ourselves instead of putting ourselves at risk, not dope slap people who give us "the look", etc. I got the look because no one would admit I needed the surgery.  Now they look at my before and after pictures and they are like "I don't remember you that large".  I always attribute that to dressing to camoflauge and I did a damn good job!!!  They were just use to me large.  Now they are totally cheering me on now that I'm so healthy.  You've had months to deal with this -- they can't be expected to deal with it when it rolls off your tongue.  They need to absorb it too -- and because they probably don't know anyone who has done this before, they don't know what to say. Stay the path you feel comfortable with.  Only you know what you can do.  Ignore others, including me, when making your decision on the surgery.   XXOO

Everyonne gets the jitters.  Remember, this is like losing a friend.  The friend being food.  You will grieve it.  You will struggle.  You will realize how many commercials (aka food porn) are on tv.  You will never, ever look at food the same way again.  It will be what you NEED, not what you want. Of course there are people who have WLS and try to get around the rules.  Be part of the majority, NOT the minority.  Find support that works for you.  Not all forms of support work for everyone.  This board works for me.  Coffee groups works for me.  Sitting in a conference room with others who are generally older than I am does NOT work for me.  Its too depressing. This is NOT easy.  You will cry.  You will crave.  You will become frustrated, angry, doubt, a whole bunch of emotions.  YOU CAN DO IT!!!  You see this is a battle and what do you do?  You post.  You are getting it out of your system. Don't second guess the "what ifs".  Don't worry what other people think.  Who cares how lonng you've struggled.  Perhaps you'll have slippage.   But perhaps you won't.  Cry when you need to.  I personally sugges****ching a sad movie - gives me an excuse to get those tears out. I promise you that once those lbs start melting off, you will look at all of this and laugh.  YOU WILL DO IT!  It is normal to feel like this.   KellyAnn

Hi Elena, Jitters are normal.  You've gotten great advice here and I just want to add as a 5 year post-op...try to stay positive and stay around positive people.  Before my surgery I kept thinking....this will be the last summer I'll be fat, by Christmas, I wonder what size I'll be in.  You are prepared....start thinking about all the benefits - you know the risks, if I were you I'd stay away from the support groups for now if there is any whining going on - you need positive energy now. Also, don't try to interpret anyone's looks now either.  You're doing this for you, and personally I was relieved knowing I'd never have to fail at a diet again.  No more endless Weigh****cher starts and re-starts...Don't get me wrong, maintenance is work, but it's a hell of a lot easier maintaining than it was walking through the door at Weigh****chers for the jillionth time....signing up again for another go at it....and really getting no where.  AGAIN. Take a breath...visualize yourself a year from now....and all will be well.

Having fears about your surgery coming up is normal.... having doubts about your choice isnt good. I have that similiar story when I was due to get my band..........  I wont ever change anyones mind or sway them but if you want to hear what I went through I will tell you privately. Please go into this with a confident mind that you made the right choice for you... based on facts not fears. Pre surgery fear is extrememly normal and we all would think it was not normal if you wernt afraid. Its surgery. Hugs

Elana,
You are perfectly normal to be feeling all of these things.
I am 18 months out and I am here to tell you that the band does work! You have prepared yourself so well for this - do not compare yourself to anyone else. You have set yourself up for success.
Yes, you might be able to lose some weight on your own....again....but the band will help you keep it off. That's where most of us have the biggest problem. And if someone gives you the look? They just don't get it! Be proud of yourself for having the courage to take advantage of a tool that will help you be successful in this battle.
Any of these surgeries require a commitment to changing your life style and eating habits. You can eat around either surgery - gotta have your head in the right place, no matter what!
You will do fine!
Jean B.