Guilt

Everyone here gave you great advice and great suggestions.  I will agree as well - just because you didn't dump this time, doesn't mean you will never dump.  Take it from an oldie....I've eaten a ton of candy and been fine, then the next time I pu**** I'm down for the count.  Never say never. Heck, I had the worst dump of my life on cherry Nyquil!!    ALSO, remember you have to live in this world, and there are times where there will be treats and you may want to have a bite.  If you choose to, have it, enjoy it, and move on.  The key word is that you CHOOSE to.  Make sure your punishment  fits the crime.  I think your biggest crime here was the sneaking...I hear ya...I still find myself wanting to do that.  I stop and think, why the hell am I sneaking?  I'm an adult, if I choose it eat something, I will eat it.  If there are consequences...then I deal with them as well. My motto since WLS is NO MORE GUILT!  I've had my fill of that since childhood when it comes to eating.  I'm done with it.  There are much more deserving things in this world to feel guilty about than food. Today is a new day - all will be well.

I think you are right I need to seperate food and eating from guilt I am not that little girl who was on diet after diet anymore.  I am treating today as a fresh start and have been doing good so far.  At least now I can start over the next day, prior to surgery I would have said to heck with it and thrown the whole diet out the door.  I just have to look at sugar as something that could turn on me at any moment.

You had surgery, you didn't die!  Meaning that it is human to want a treat now and then, and it's ok to have a treat now and then.  In moderation.  No sneaking!  That is where the trouble is.  I dont' remember where I heard this, but it was kind of an ah ha moment for me: You may eat small amounts while in the presence of others, but you are still obese.  If you are obese, it means you are eating more when others are not around.  Therefore, others WILL know that you are sneaking.  so that was a presurgery revelation for me.  I think it can be translated for post-op, in regards to how well we do with our tool.  And you really don't want to have done all this work to throw it all away.  If this is a problem you are having trouble controling on your own, get some help.  There is no shame in getting help.  Again, no more sneaking.  Get rid of the shame, acknowledge that it is ok to have a treat from time to time, and have the treat when you are with others.  YOu will be fine.

I know it is so true, I mean people used to be really confused by my weight because I would eat so little in front of people that they could not understand how I got so big.  I have all the tools to help myself I just need to use them.

I still  like the tactic of getting some Mr. Yuk stickers, and putting them wherever temptation lies!!  My butterfly tattoo is kinda like my very own perma-Mr. Yuk sticker.  When I reach for something evil, there's my butterfly to remind me of my priorities.

I like the idea, but then it also means admitting to my family my weakness and I am having trouble doing that.  I don't know why but I feel so ashamed that I still battle these food demons and that sometimes the food wins.  I feel so bad emotionally from what I ate last night that I know I won't eat any today.   I like the idea of your butterfly tatoo, if only I didn't have such a low pain tolerancance!

Everyone here had wise advice and good points so I'll just say today is a new day, and Mom's Brownies are in the past . Don't beat yourself up over it.  Our surgeons gave us a tool, not a miracle so of course we are going to wrestle with those food demons once in a while that lingered over us for years and years leading up to the surgery.  The good news is, you still have the tool.  So just dust yourself off, move on and declare today to be a new day. (((Hugs))) Michelle

Thank you Michelle!  I do tend to loose sight of my tool when I mess up so it is good to be reminded that it doesn't jump ship when I mess up.  I took today as a new day and am so glad I did I was able to get some really good things accomplished like jogging/walking 6 miles in 95 minutes!  Thanks for the support it is great to know I am not alone in this!  Love & Hugs!  Nicole

You know, I have to agree with everyone here!  You have done a FABULOUS job and before surgery, it would have been a lot more.  NOW, you are able to stop yourself and get a workout in after you've eaten that kind of food and if I've learned anything from your posts, you will workout.  Be proud of the fact that you didn't just eat and sit.

Thanks Pam!  I wasn't able to get in much of a workout last night unless you count chasing around my 3 little nephews (okay maybe I did get a workout in), but I did a big ol workout tonight to make up for my mistake yesterday and to kickstart my training.  Thanks for reminding me how I have changed I sometimes forget and just see me before surgery when I mess up.  Love & Hugs! Nicole