Guilt

Well, I did not achieve my goal for this weekend as my mom baked brownies for her birthday and I have snuck in the kitch and had 3 pieces through out the night and I didn't dump....this is bad, very, very bad. I do not know how to keep myself from the sweets its like if I am in the same place as the sweets and I have a clear shot with no one watching I am all over them.  I feel like I just flushed all of th hard work from the past week down the toilet.  Somebody, anybody I need help with this and am open to any suggestions. 

Nikki, I am in the same boat as you. I don't really dump on most sweet things, it depends. And now that I have lost the wt. I don't know if I am getting laxed or what, but it scares me. I know I need help with the mind so I made an appt. for the Emily Program to see if I can see a counselor there regarding the food issues. Maybe you could look into something like that? Good Luck.

I have been thinking about the Emily program for a while, but thought I would wait and see if maybe going through the detox and nutrition program in 2 weeks will help, if I am still having problems after that I will definitely look at it.  I think part of me knows that I know what I need to do because I have been through therapy for disordered eating in the past and I just need to be more vigilant in practicing what I learned.  I hope that you are able to find something to help!

Do what I do.... look at it as a poison. Pull out old photos, make a serious correlation between that food and what you used to be. Make something that lights up as a yummy thing in your head into something that lights up as a very, very seriously bad and unhealthy thing. That's the way I stay away from a lot  of food. Works for me anyway.

That is actually a really good idea.  I will try that to get through today so that I do not ruin the day today as well.

first off.... don't beat yourself up over it. Thats the worse thing you can do. Just because you didn't dump... THIS TIME. does not mean it won't happen next time. That is the really strange thing about this surgrey. What happens one time may not necissarily happen the next. Stay focused. Forgive yourself and move on. You are doing very well, By the way... what were the sizes of the pieces? how far apart? That could make a big diference. It will be okay....get back home to your safe enviorment, and your good habits will return.

Thank you for reminding me about dumping I will keep that in mind that it could happen anytime so that hopefully that will keep me from the not so good food.  Two of the three pieces were small and then the last piece (eaten after everyone else went to bed) was regulare sized.  They were pretty far apart since I was sneaking them. I agree tonight I will be back home with my safe food and where I don't usually have the feeling like I need to sneak food.

I know if I have surgary things far enough apart that I don't dump... but the next day... I usually end up making multiple trips to the bathroom 0_0. So more like a mini dump.. it reminds me... ooops did to much. I know it's really hard when we are outside our comfort zone. Look at this as a learning experience.. and plan for next time... take some fruit, or one of those yummy snacks your getting. You'll make it. By the way if you ever need to chat.... I will send you my phone number by pm. I have found it always helps to talk to someone that has been thru what I have when I'm having issues.

You are allowed to have a treat now and then, it will not set you back. The way you need to look at it is, yes, I had a sample of the brownies, but no, I did not eat half the pan. Taking a SMALL bite here and now lets you realize this is a lifestyle change. I am the same way. I take a small bite here and there when nobody is looking, but I realize before I would have eaten 5 full sized brownies. This surgery is a tool, we are human, we are going to test the limits. What I have found is I can try a small bite here and there, then take and extra walk, and no harm done. But then the next day I will try something with a small amount of sugar, and "Oh Crap", I dump from it. Don't test the limits, but don't be surprised if you do dump at a later time. I have found the farther out I get, the more sensitive my "pouchie" is. Don't feel guilty, just take and extra walk, and be proud you didn't eat half the pan!

Good point, I had not thought about it that way.  I plan to do an extra long workout today to make up for yesterday.  I am going to keep the idea in my mind that if I eat any today I will get sick.