I'm letting it get to me....

I wasn't going to tell people that I work with about my surgery, some people (those I like) knew but I thought, it was none of their business etc.  Well yesterday after a highly charged battle between others in the office and all the talking behind backs that happened I decided I was just going to be honest and share my decision. People were very supportive (surprised me really) but then one person who was supportive to my face had to go to a friend of mine and ask if the doctors thought I couldn't lose weight any other way....I took the comment as negative and now I can't get it out of my head.

What do I do?

Robyn

Robyn - just my two cents - but until a person walks in your shoes they have no basis to make a judgement on what your decision is. 

I would guess that you have tried a gazillion different things to lose weight and surgery wasn't the first attempt you have tried.  I know I have.  Surgery was my decision based on knowing i needed to get healthier and i needed a tool to help me.

And i am only 6 weeks out of surgery and feel better than I have in years and feel it was probably the best decision for me.  I am sure there are those out there talking behind my back (my personal fav is "she doesn't look big enough to need surgery" - but again they aren't in my shoes or are they there with me on the scale when it tips near 300# or when my lab results started screaming high blood pressure and other health problems looming on the horizon etc.)

You are doing this for you  -- you are doing this to get healthy for you.   Let the results speak for themselves.

Best wishes. Linda

 

 

Don't let it get you down. Of course we can't lose weight on our own, it is not like it is a big secret

I have heard that question alot, I think it is actually a valid questions, but not sure why it just wasn't asked directly to you, that is the only part that would have me a bit defensive. I would probably ask that person if they have any other questions, because you would be happy to answer them.

It sounds to me like this person has no idea what it is like to struggle with their weight...like Linda said they can not spea****il they have walked in your shoes.  If it isn't too uncomfortable I would maybe share a little of your story with the person so that they know that this isn't the only thing you have tried to loose the weight.  I know that comments like that really sting and can stay with you, but pu**** out of your mind and instead focus on all of the support and the knowledge that you are gonna do great and get healthy!

I think the way I would handle that would be to look for an opportunity to share some of the pre-op journey we all take - the history of failed diets that our doctors and insurers want documented.  The physical/medical assessments we are put through, the psychological assessments, the research, and the soul searching.  Its almost as if those who have no experience with this think we wake up one morning, decide we want WLS, walk into our doctor's office, ask for it and get it.    When I told my mom I was doing this (I was already 1/2 way through my LD!), I made sure that I told her ALL about it before I even gave her a chance to respond.  So when she DID respond, all she could say was - "Well, it sounds like you've really done your research, and if your doctors think you're a good candidate, then I'm completely behind you!" And if that doesn't work?  Simply tell him/her "I'm doing this for my health."  It's a statement, and there aren't many arguments to it.

I know it's easier said then done. But don't let it get to you. You handled it in a way you thought was appropriate. No matter what we do there is always gossip in our lives. You have made it this far, you know what you've been thru to get here. You know you haven't taken the "easy" way out. You know you've tried everything you can try. Now that you have said your peace, let it go.. and quietly do what you need to do... I bet in just a few months that person will be eating their words!!!!