How and When to tell People

I can say that everyone I told - was supportive and happy for me.  My mother was initially worried about the surgery..she had heard horror stories...but she came around.  I only had one bad experience and that was with an overweight fellow co-worker.  She had "issues" of her own, but she thought I took the easy way out and we no longer speak.  Thank god I changed departments so it's no longer an issue - however I'm sure she's secretly wishing I'd gain all my weight back! I was nervous about telling my skinny boss...I had comtemplated telling them I was having a hysterectomy...but then I knew I'd be shrinking fast and instead of people thinking I was taking chemo...I fessed up.  My husband also brought everyone home to me.  He lovingly said..."Honey, it's not like people don't know you're fat".  Duh.  He was right....Here I was, 300+ lbs, in a tight size 28....it's not like the world didn't see that I need WLS. So - do whatever is comfortable for you.  It's your business.  Your relatives know why you're sitting on the sidelines reading a book.  They may be thin....but I'm sure they know what's going on with your behavior.  You don't need to stand trial and defend yourself.  You're doing this for your health and to feel better.  End of story.  Soon your sister-in-law will be shopping with you for the same sizes!

CheriLynn, there is no rule book with in-laws, well I don't have one for mine.  I think the wonderful thing with this surgery is you get to tell who you want, and get to keep it to your self if you want. I would play it by ear for now, and you know a little white lie never really hurt you can always say your surgery is secret woman's business, or that you can't get together with them because you are having a girls weekend with some new friends.  As for the weight loss - tell em it's Atkins or your doctor is helping you..and if worst comes to worst, get your husband to tell them.  That way, there's no immediate confrontation, he's already told them "say nice things to my wife or don't say anything thing at all". Maybe they will surprise you and be supportive like you never imagined good luck,

I chose to tell everyone around me.  I knew for me that I would need the support of everyone around me to take this journey. The feedback that I received from many of the people that I told was that they were honored that I opened up as much as I did and allowed them to be a part of my journey.  This part of the journey was one of the most amazing things ever.  Before I left for Mexico for my surgery, my co-workers presented me with a box full of cards they had each inidvidually written to me and said that I couldn't open them until I was on the plane.   Believe you me it was the most encouraging thing reading all of their words of encouragment and support and love.  It really changed the way I felt about every single one of them and helped me realize that my paranoia of them judging me was really not real at all. After surgery I sent many follow up emails with my progress to a huge list of friends and family and again the outpouring of support was overwhelming.  They were proud of me! It felt so good to have so many people want to see me succeed and praising me for my accomplishments. I can understand the fear in sharing such personal information with others - it's scary, they might judge you and they may even call you crazy or stupid for going to such extremes to lose weight, especially since it shouldn't be that hard to just stop putting food in your mouth.  For me, it was actually a time where I could educate those around me that my food addicition wasn't just about being lazy or mindlessly eating.  It's been a full year (tomorrow's my anniversary) and I can honestly say I think that most people around me realize that my food addicition is a REAL problem with my head and my emotions.   It's a very personal decision for everyone and no one can tell you what's right for you.  But for me, sharing with everyone and anyone that wants to hear about it has given me more in return than any of the negative that I had anticipated. Good luck!