OT: What's your definition of being IN LOVE?

Hi Tracy Great question!!! This actually was an easy one for me to answer. Ken and I celebrated our 25th anniversary last August. We had our first date 10/17/1981....moved in together in November, he asked me to marry him in December and we were married 8/7/82. I knew that I was in love with him when he was able to accept me UNCONDITIONALLY, even with all the emotional baggage I came with. He told me he loved me, would help me through things and would be with me forever and loved ALL of me, both the good and the bad. I knew at that moment, this was the guy for me. It took me many, many years to get through the emotional baggage I had, but he helped me every step of the way. Having our 2 daughters, just increased the love we had for each other. Like every other married couple, we have had our ups and downs, but have survived through them and have grown, both individually and as a couple. I know that I'm still in love, when, even after 26 years together, I can't stand to be apart from him.  I get excited to just see him come home from work. And that I want to grow old with him. We're still like teenagers sometimes  LOL We say "I Love you" everyday. We"allow" ourselves to be mad at each other, but try and resolve the issue as soon as possible. We never "throw" things up at each other. Basically, we respect each other as well as love each other. I know that people say you will just know.....I think sometimes that's true and other times it might take awhile to actually realize it. Sometimes, people are "in love" with each other, but LOVING someone is a whole new ballgame.....this is where the committment comes in. Hope this helps. Hugs Peggy

I would like to have a positive reply, but don't.  I've been living the last 10 years with a man that I am not in love with.  I am still in love with my previous BF in Minnesota.  I live in Wisconsin.  The previous BF would now have nothing to do with me as a fat woman. Lillysummer

I admire your honesty in your post. I had a boyfriend like that once. Really loved him, but he had a problem with my weight when I was only 150 ( I met him weighting 125). He would make me salads and stuff to try and support me but I just took it as negative. Tahnk god we broke up- I would have felt like crap now that I have ballooned up, he didn't have a wondering eye, but i can sure bet he would have gottten one

Tracy, I love your question. Makes me think back to when my husband and I first starting seeing each. Let me tell you when I first met him I thought he was nice but to werid for me. We always ran into each other at the Bar and even danced a little( Electric Slide that was our favorite). But, a few months later he was all of a sudden interested and I was like yeah no thanks. I then decided to give him a chance at least we could be friends. Well, needless to say he has not left my side yet. We were engaged within 2 months and married in 9 months. I knew after a few times together that this was it. I had never been "in love" before either. I had boyfriends in the past but nothing felt this comfortable or effortless than with my husband. I remember that we used to talk on the phone so late and into the morning that I think we even slept together over the phone!! HA HA. Those were some of the best times where we could be open, honest, and share our dreams. Everyday that we were not together we wished we were. We just could not get enough of each other. In the short time that we were engaged we by no means learned everything about each other. We are still learning about each other on a daily basis. Today as we have been together for 10 years. I can not imange a day without him!! I'm wishing you all the best with "LOVE"

HIJACK - happy anniversary Angela!

 

Linda

 

My parents will be celebrating their 50th Wedding Anniv this summer. I have asked them this and they have both  said from the beginning that it is wanting to be with the person but having your independence by not HAVING to be with that person. Wanting to share the good and bad, accepting eachother regardless of their faults (my dad is a notorious farter!) It is wanting to share the fun times and the difficult times. Wanting the best for eachother even if it means a sacrifice on one's part. They have also said itcan be different for everyone. I can't tell you from experience but those are things they have said over the years.

Like Angela, I knew my DH for 2 months & we were married within 9 also, and we're going on 11 years.

I believe that you do "just know", but also, I think it's the relationships where you talk openly and honestly right from day one and you still both feel comfortable with eachother. If you fight from day 1, you're gonna keep fighting. Just remember you can't change someone so if there are traits or habits you just can't stand, then really think about that. Attraction is great and all that, but the relationship and bond is what really carries you through the long haul so it's better to be wise in the beginning about that IMO. Hey, and if all else fails, just tell your hubby to plant a garden and make sure there are LOTS of good cucumbers in it. He doesn't need to know why. So, throwing it back at you, what do YOU think?

Being in love today means only that.  There's no guarantee it will still exist tomorrow.  Be a grownup.  Know that magic is just an illision and fairies aren't real. Being in love does not have to make you weak.  Always protect yourself physically, mentally, and financially.  Have a backup plan.  Know what you are going to do when things don't work out.  Be able to take care of yourself and always have some money of your own.  Don't be willing to sacrifice too much.  Never give everything. If this person is not your financial equal or better, the prenup is your best friend.  This person is not entitled to share in what you had before your involvement with him.  If he's not willing that means he does want what you have now.  Don't for one minute think that a man won't take financial advantage of a woman.  It's becoming more and more common.  Love, hearts, and flowers are great but don't abandon your common sense. Best of luck!  And BTW, I've been married since forever.  I've lived and learned a lot.

WOW -- talk about making us think!!!  I ditto all Cindy said!!!  Holy crap can you write things down GF!!!  But I think it depends on the person you are with -- I've been truly in love 3 times.  I look back even on my relationship with my ex-husband and even after all the hurt of the past years, I still remember loving him.  But as I grew older and my priorities changed, so did my level of love and the type of love.  I've been married 22 years to my second husband, Jeff, and it seems like 2 years.  My level of love for him is greater than I can even imagine.  With others, I knew I would be okay if they weren't in my life -- I'd date again, and move on with life.  It would take time, but I didn't have the "fear" of them not being with me.  With Jeff, even after 22 years, the thought of him not walking in that door every time he walks out of it devastates me -- even if it is just to go downstairs and sit on his computer for a while.  I love every minute with him and can't wait for the next time I see him.  I still get more excited than the dog when he comes home at night or when I see him first thing in the morning!!!  Even when he just comes back from filling up his car!!!  Feeling that way since day one, I just knew he was "the one" for the last stages of my life.  I've been truly content with him and don't mind the growing old together.   XXOO