Just keep swimming

As my friend Dori would say in Finding Nemo...Just Keep Swimming!

Well, let me start by saying Thank You to all of you that sent notes, called, TM'd, etc. over the past week. It was really encouraging to me and meant a lot. The ups and downs of this adventure can be amazing and / or they can be just plain emotional and exhausting. I found myself questioning every aspect of it last week. Essentially, my surgeon's scheduler assured me all my requirements would be met by March and so this is what I had psyched myself up for. When I started asking questions though, it proved to be June was going to be the new timeframe for everything to be wrapped up (namely because of BCBS's 6-month diet requirement). So, I needed to lay low and lick the wounds. I knew it wouldn't be forever and I realize I overreacted in the moment, but we do what we gotta do, right? I am ready to put my MO behind me once and for all and I just cannot wait 'til surgery day, but I lost sight of that for a moment because I wanted it SO bad. Does that make sense? I have regrouped, refocused, and realized that I've given this advice to pre-op's before while they were jumping the hurdles. "Just keep going" "You can do this" "There is a light at the end of the tunnel" So, why was it so hard to take my own advice? I dug down deep to find the answer and I believe I found it yesterday. I read a newspaper article in the Star Trib about a lady who has an eating disorder. I never thought I could identify with that. But the more I read, the more I identified. I realized I binge eat to the point of overstuffed-ness. I sneak food when nobody is looking. I bake and say it's for my family, but I consume half. And on it goes. I can't say this has always been there for me, I actually identify it as being somewhat recent. Luckily I see Lana tomorrow for my MMPi follow-up and we have time to discuss this so I will see what her take is on it. There is always a reason we are delayed on this surgery route IMO. Some more than others, some not at all perhaps. But there is a reason for each step of the way. It is a journey and it is individual. I read Monday's weigh in and I realized something. Everyone should post to that thread with the intention of celebrating where they are at TODAY. Not yesterday or last week, but TODAY. It's not a competition of who's lost more, or who weighs a certain number, but a celebration of where someone is at on their journey today. A personal journey is just that. As we all learn to embrace our journey, just remember your goals and your personal achievements along the way. All hurdles were meant to be jumped! I couldn't stay away...I love you all too much. Thank you for being the best group ever. ~Amy~

I am glad you found your way back to your happy place. Yes, they are many hurdles, and it take some longer than others and it is frustrating, but the end result is the same- Approval will come, and the weight will come off. I admire your strenght and courrage to keep fighting for what you want. hang in there, there is alot of love for you here on the board when you need it!

We love you too, Amy.....You have been so strong thru this journey and you were missed last week!! I know it can be a tough road for all of us at times, but we have each other and that is just so cool. We are not alone and that is the best feeling!!! Your strength has helped me so much. Thank you so much for being the person you are!!!  CarolN

My sweet sweet Amy, I am so glad you are back!  I have missed you so much.  We all have moments like that and there will be ups and downs but we are all here for each other........ You are one tough cookie you are always here for us and we love you!!!!!  If you ever need anything lase let me know....Again I am so glad you are back...... love ya Marsha

Amy, I'm so glad to see you didn't stay away, I had to go away for a year when my ins. dropped coverage for the surgery, but I took the time to see where God wanted me to look next and found that it was to look at my binge eating problem and then the next year my ins. took the policy back. Any way it will all work out, you have great insight and have been a great support and I believe things will work out for you too. Thanks for coming back. Laura

Hey Sweetness!  I am soooo glad you are back!  I can totally relate to you....a blow is a blow and when it comes up from behind  you it knocks the wind out of you and you just need to take a moment to catch your breath....right.  You are a VALUED member of this family and when you hurt we hurt.  You are such an amazing woman with more strength then you realize.  I wish I would have been as prepared for my WLS as you are!!  HUGS and Love!

Amy, So glad you've come back to the your happy place.  And like Dori says "Just keep swimming."  That is what this whole thing is about is paddling away to keep your head above water.  You're doing just fantastic and your time will be here before you know it!!

Welcome back!  I miss you! BIG HUGS, Colleen

Miss Amy, I'm so glad to see you back. Your knowledge and dedication will make you so successful in the long run. and we love you too. Hugs doll L

Amy, I can certainly understand where you are coming from we have all have had hurdles to get over and need time to reflect. I only wish I had found this forum sooner. I'm glad you are back and ready for another round. I myself ate like it was my last meal every day before the LD. Now it is easier witht he new tool. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Dear Dori, oops,  I mean AMY! Your post broke my heart and I prayed (so hard!) that you would find what you needed to continue to persevere!  You are a strong and fabulous person who deserves this--you are such a rock to others, I am glad you found it within yourself...for yourself!   I am so glad you are back....and just keep swimming girl! Jeanne