OT: I'm bursting at the seams....(LONG)

I told myself I wouldn't post about this becasue I don't want to jinx it, but I just want to share with all of you some exciting news.  It's a first for me, not just since surgery, but EVER and I just can't hold it in any longer. Thanks to the tip from Linda N. at a support group meeting, I put a profile out on plentyoffish.com.  It's a completely free dating site.  I've had a couple of contacts, emails and phone calls with a few different guys and nothing fantastic has happened.  Two weeks ago a new guy contacted me on the website and we emailed a few times and then I gave him my number.  We talked a few times on the phone for an hour at time each time we talked.  He was so easy to talk to and could really carry his side of the conversation. On Saturday, on a whim, I sent him a text asking him if he had plans.  He said no, although I found out later that he left up North early AND cancelled plans with his kids to go out with me.  (His divorce isn't final yet, but he's been separated for over a year). I felt so at ease going on this date.  My nails needed doing, my hair needed coloring, but I didn't really seem to care - I just felt I could go as I was.  I even told myself that I didn't care that I had gray sweatsocks on and wearing my Target clogs.  I just felt it was okay to go exactly as I was and show him that this was me - and I'm okay with me. So we met at Bonfire in Eagan at 8:30pm, had a nice dinner and conversation.  A band started and it got too loud to talk, so we decided to go to a movie.  We saw Jumper (okay movie, but ends where you think it's just in the middle of the movie).  About 20 minutes into the movie he reached for my hand and eventually readjusted so he could hold it tighter.  I was freezing, so eventually we put the armrest up so he could put his arm around me and warm me up. It felt SO good to have a man touch me and snuggle with him. Back at the restaurant parking lot to get his car, he asked for permission to kiss me - how sweet.  Of course, I agreed.  It was a very nice kiss!  oh....the butterflies!!! We've talked and texted a few times since Saturday and have agreed to see each other again Wednesday evening.  I have to tell you how incredibly sweet his texts have been - telling me that he can't think of another time when he had a better date, that he's been on a natural high since we went out and this morning after I texted him to say "Good morning, sun's shining" he replied with "It always is when I hear from you." Man, am I just a sucker or is this the most fabulous!!!  I know it's genuine and it feels so good to know that someone is interested in me.  Like I mentioned earlier, this has NEVER happened to me.  I've never called any guy my boyfriend, never been in an LTR.  I've always been too afraid and I've been told that I give off signals that I really want people (guys in particular) to stay away from me.  I know that WLS has helped me in this area; I feel much more confident and content with who I am and I know that it shows to others. I'm so excited about the potential with this guy and even if down the road it doesn't work, I know that it's all about me gaining experience in dating and gaining more and more confidence.  This is a huge step for me and I'm enjoying every second of it.  I'm leaving it all up to God to decide how things move forward, we'll just see.  For now it's early on, but I'm giddy with anticipation. Thank you for allowing me to ramble on about this...I'll be judicious in sharing details in the future, but for right now I just want all of my WLS family to know about my excitment because you are my family and a major part of my life! Take care and MAKE it a GREAT day! Love & Hugs, Tracy

Tracy - it is so fun to hear the excitement!  I am so happy for you.  I've got butterfly's for you.

Yeah!

 

 

You're so sweet Linda - thanks for listening to all my details and being excited for me, I will definitely keep you updated so you can live vicariously! Love ya girlie!  Can't wait to see you again soon!

That is a huge step for you. How great to just "go as you are" knowing that you are good enough just as you are. Being heavy strips many a woman (and man) of self confidence and it is a hard road back. Gald you made it! Everything you wrote sound just palin ole' fun. That is what dating is supposed to be...fun. Enjoy it! Even if this is not meant to be along term relationship, is is definately a stepping stone for you to enjoy more of what life has too offer. I am gald you are enjoying more of life. Good luck to you and I am verg glad you posted this story.

Thanks hon!  You're so right about the self-confidence thing, but thanks to this journey, I'm becoming stronger, even though I'm overweight, I've really come to appreciate who I am.  I can only hope that everyone I know can someday experience this same contentment. Praise the Lord! Take care of you!  BTW - Have you ever posted your a real name or do you prefer just to keep it anonymous???  Either way is okay - just don't want to be offensive if I should know your real name.

My name is actually Cathy. But Leg works fine too! I don't mind my name out there, just not my photo. I went to MG coffee recently and met a few nice gals. I think I am going to do that more often. First time I have been out with someone other than my immediate family for about 4 years. And that is no stretch of the truth. I have been in hiding since gaining so much weight. I don't mind meeting new people being heavy, but it was just so embarrassing to run into someone I haven't seen in a long time. I suppose that sounds weird.

Cathy!!! So nice to know you (virtually at least)! Doesn't seem weird to me at all - I hate that I would run into people from high-school especially at my highest - it was so embarassing that I "let" myself go. However, I'm super glad that you're coming out of your shell and getting to meet people - I know for a fact you will NEVER regret extending yourself to all the wonderful people on this board.  They don't know it but they are MIRACLES in my life - that includes you! Take care!

I am like spilling tears of joy for you Tracy, all over my dang desk! Geesh. You are SO deserving of this Tracy and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. I will pray that this relationship goes just as it is intended to. And tell this guy of all your friends who will absolutely kick his fanny across town if he breaks your heart!!! LOL And I am so proud of you...because you are finally comfortable with YOU! What a powerful testimony to the person you have become Tracy. I love you & am SO happy for you!!!

Thanks Amy!  Now I'm crying.  That's exactly why I posted this though, because I know so many of you understand where I've come from and how huge this step is for me.  It's overwhelming to know that so many people want the best for me and better yet, think I deserve it.  It's that exact reason why I am so much more confidence today than ever before, because it's hard for all the amazing messages of support and encouragement NOT to sink in when you keep hearing them over and over from fabulous people like you.  Like Darla once said - you can't all be wrong!  Boy does that mean the world to me.

I definitely owe all of who I am right now today to all of you (and God of course)! That's a favor, I'll NEVER be able to repay, but that I will always be grateful for!

I love you to pieces Amy!

So nice to know SOMEONE sees the wisdom I occasionally spew out there!  ;) Tracy, the stuff I'm going through with Bailey right now might just benefit from a dose of you.  She thinks the world of you.  Maybe we can arrange something?  UNLESS, of course, your dance card just got filled up indefinitely?!! (btw - Mr. Man is a handsome fella, too!  YOU GO, GIRL!!!)