new...just want to vent some concerns

Hi all...I've been cruising this site for the past couple weeks and so far I like what I see.  You all seem so supportive. So, here's what's going on... I made the decision to go through with RNY this past August.  I did all my psychological tests, sleep study, and now I'm down to my last 2 out of 7 nutritionist visits.  BCBS MN has a few strict guidelines, but PNC and Methodist is absolutely fabulous.  I'm just concerned about the whole approval process.  Am I doing everything right?...Did I screw things up by gaining weight even tho' I was going to a nutritionist?...Should I see a bariatric psychotherapist?...all these questions! I've been stressing about this so much I've been losing sleep...it's ridiculous!  I'm worried since I don't have any co-morbidities that they won't deem it medically necessary.  I also worry about after the surgery.... Will people I love treat me differently?...What do I do with the attention from men?...Will I become a conceited *****How will i NOT be able to eat sweets????...I have such an insane sweet tooth.  I don't want to screw this up at all.  If God does give me this, I NEED to appreciate this gift and use it wisely.  What if I screw up?  Then there's the excitement.... I won't be so tired, I can walk up a flight of stairs without losing my breath, I can shop at CHEAPER normal stores, I won't have to hide what I eat and how much of it I eat, and maybe...if I find a great guy to marry...I can have a baby.  Please God Please!!!!  If it's Your will...please give me the gift of gastric bypass. 

PNC is awesome in that they kind of guide you through the whole approval process.  They made   that part of it so easy! As for the other concerns?  THAT'S where support groups, and OH, and coffee get togethers help you out!  For your worries, find a way to turn the potential negatives into POSITIVES!!!  Attention?  It's GREAT!  ENJOY IT!!!  Will you become a conceited *****  I DON'T THINK SO!  I think you'll come to appreciate the people who have loved you unconditionally, through thick and thin, and I think you'll forgive those who decided they like you thinner, because it's a lot more pleasant than holding onto the negativity.  You MAY be able to eat sweets, or they may make you dump.  If you dump?  'nuff said.  If they DON'T make you dump?  You'll either suffer for the slower weight loss, or maybe you'll learn to appreciate the heck out of a TASTE, and no longer need a MASSIVE SLAB of whatever is tempting you! Just stay in tune with the fact that this is a tool, and if God blesses you with it, your job is to honor it.  Sounds like you may already have a healthy dose of guilt to call upon.  Mine is INSANE when I do something stupid!!!  But, I've also learned to forgive myself.  We may have WLS, but we're still human.  As for the excitement?  WOO FREAKIN'  HOO, BABY!!!!   Those are called WOW MOMENTS around here!!! Good Luck to ya!

Cooby, first of all welcome and make your self comfortable.  The people on this site will have a plethera of in formation.  Some good advice keep your head up be positive and follow the plan to a "T"!  Things will work out .  I will be looking for you to post how the rest of your journey progresses.  Also if you have time try to catch a coffee meeting.  You will meet people in various stages of this process and you can ask lots of question. Troy

YJust remember, no one has an 100% perfect life after WLS. There's reasons we have issues with food to begin with. As long as you have treatment for those issues BEFORE surgery, and continue to deal with those issues after surgery, you will be a winner. WLS is hard. Harder than you can imagine. There's no way to know exactly how it will feel after surgery. You will screw up. But it's worth it. Definitely.

OK did I just type that? I know I didn't but it sure could have come from me! I know EXACTLY the fears you talk about! After talking to a few folks and finding this board I am much more at peace with those things.  Here is what I have decided~

Will people treat me different? Only those who have judged me because of my weight What will I do with the attention from men? Enjoy the heck out of it! Will I become a conceited ***** I am not one now so I don't think so, I will however feel more confident and self assured and probably feel better about standing up for myself when I need to instead of hiding behind my weight. Iam concerned about the sweets but if that is what I need to do to live healthy for the rest of my life so be it.

I know there are changes that I will have to make to be sucessful. AM I excited about taking vitamins forever? Not really but it beats taking blood pressure, cholesteral, GERD, etc medication for life. Do I want to give up my friend food that I love? No but if I need to do that to be healthy I will~ If I was a drug addict I would drop my druggie friends in a heartbeat. Wow I went off on a tangent there! Bottom line is I think there are a lot of things to be anxious about, that is normal when you make any sort of life change. But the changes it will bring will be so worth it when they happen. Good luck to you and welcome to the board!

Welcome!  Just wanted to add that I also had an enormous sweet tooth before surgery.  I have had a few occasions where I did crave sweets, so I allowed myself to try a cookie.  The good news/bad news is that I don't dump.  The good news is that one small (or should I say normal sized?) cookie was enough.  It completely satisfied me, and I have not been tempted by any other sweets, like candy (which i used to adore).  My tastes have changed drastically, and food doesn't appeal to me like it used to.   Definitely go to support meetings and/or coffee gatherings.  You will meet many people in varying stages, and you will get clearer and more in-depth answers in live conversations.  It also helps to make that human connection with people who are on a similar journey. Good luck!

Welcome CoobyD!  I definitely agree with all the previous posts, and would just add"Yes!"  please do schedule therapy with a licensed psychologist who specializes in bariatric surgery. I'm 18 months out, and had been seeing a psychologist for a year prior to even being recommended fo it by my GP, and only then did I find out bariatric surgery is her specialty!  As food addicts, we only knew how to dull our emotions with food.  Take away the food, and then the plethora of emotions surface, which IMHO are best dealt with in private therapy.  Yes, the majority of us have shed tears during the first several mourning months, and yes, there are so many emotional variations as the body shrinks faster than the mind can comprehend.  And, being female, the surgery will do a real number on your hormones, which are stored in the rqpidly-disappearing fat.  Again, this is just my opinion, and as you'd questioned psychotherapy, I must emphatically say 'go for it!'  Even at goal, I've reduced my visits with her to once every six weeks, because there are continuous challenges, changing goals, and  I'm likely a lifetime 'work in progress', and it's a wonderful feeling having a therapist I'm very comfortable with (from the first session) to get into the details large and small.  Mine is in Edina, and if you'd like additional info, please PM me!  Gest wishes on the ride of your life and the journey of your lifetime!   The SonShine will definitely guide your way!  Hugs galore, Patti

There isn't anything that the others have said that I could really add to, so I thought I would just say welcome to the board!  Lisa

Welcome.  I know you will love the MN OH site.  It is the place to go when you have questions, concerns, want to brag, etc.  The help is here. Your concern are normal.  I can speak from my own experience regarding the after surgery temptations.  You will be surprised how many non-sugar sweets you will find out there.  I find SF popsicles are sweeter than the regular ones.  And they taste great.  Your tastes will change drastically.  All it will take is overeating once or eating something that your body won't like, and that temptation will be long gone.  I can't say that I don't crave foods that I used to eat.  I do every day.  I just divert my thoughts to something else.  Keeping busy is so important.  Then you have less time to think about giving in to temptation. Get involved with a support group.  Then you can talk through your fears and hesitation with others who have been there/done that.   God will help you through this.  And so will your friends at OH.  Congrats on making your first steps.   Kelly

I went to a nutritionist for a while and gained weight as well. Towards the end the nutritionist suggested I be tested for PCOS polycysistic ovarian syndrome. Alot of women have it and don't know it. One of the symptoms is weight gain. She explained to me that my body didn't know what to store so it would store everything. Yikes. So anyway I not sure this applies to you but I'm glad you joined us this is a great group.