9 Month Surgiversary

For those of you that have had surgery, you understand the concept of not being able to see that you've lost weight even though you have - and lots of it.  Today is my 9 month surgiversary and I haven't taken pics since my 6 month mark - WOW, was I blown away.  Still wearing a 22 and inching my way into 20s, I still feel like a very fat person.  It's especially hard when people who had surgery after me are wearing sizes WAY lower than I am.  It does quite the little number on my brain and self-esteem.   But today, when I had my co-worker take pics, I can no longer believe the mixed up message my brain was telling me.  Even though I've only lost another 10 pounds since my 6 month pics, the change between my Feb. 07 pic and today is SOOOO drastically different I'm in complete shock.  Today, I can see that even in a size 22 - I'm a MUCH smaller person than I was at this time last year. And then, I'm a bit saddened.  Because in my Feb 07 picture, I see my brother, who to his benefit stopped smoking a good 8-10 years ago, but has gained a lot of weight and has to weigh about 400 pounds.  My mom took his blood sugar last week and it was at 250 - which I understand is dangerously high.  He has no desire to change.  The thought of surgery isn't anything he would ever consider, even though he now has two sisters who have had great success.  I pray that God can change his mind because I fear that at 47 years of age his weight is going to lead to an early death.  If you have a moment and would like to include him in your prayers, my family and I would be ever so grateful! With that said, I can honestly say that RIGHT now is the perfect time to begin taking full advantage of my tool again.  I would really like to be in size 14s some day and in order to do that I've got to set my self on the straight and narrow again.   So to all of you, I committ to the following: 1. See new psychiatrist for new meds to begin dealing with mental health issues that are connected to my eating disorder. (Appt is Thursday) 2. See new pyschologist to begin the talk side of dealing with the above. 3. Drink at least 4 bottles of water a day. 4. Take vitamins EVERY day & B-12 at least once a week. 5. Exercise at least 4 times a week. My mini-goal is to be in ONEderland by my one year surgiversary - that means I need to lose 27 pounds in the next 3 months - that's just 9 pounds a month - approximately 2 pounds a week.  I know I can do this!  I've updated pics on my profile - I can't figure out how to include them here...so check 'em out there!

Merry CHRISTmas to all of you and may God grant you and your family many blessings in 2008!  Thank you to all of you who have supported me through my journey!  You all mean the world to me and I know I couldn't do this without all of you! With much love, Tracy

Shout out to Tracy!!!! I am so PROUD of you and how far you have come.  Way to go girlie!!! Amy

Tracy, I think I've told you this before, but I have always admired you from the first time you spoke at a support meeting.  Yes , things have not been perfect for you, but perfection is over-rated.  You just keep on doing your thing, it's happening and I'm glad that you can see it! Today my spanx are tight and it's making me feel tubby, some days are better than others

Buffy, Thanks so much!  You're right - perfection is over-rated!  And ya know I'm so far from perfect there's just no sense trying for what's never gonna happen!   I've really enjoyed getting to know you more through support groups and I definitely would love some one on one time with you!  I think we have very similar stories and we would benefit greatly from each other's friendship! And BTW - I bet you couldn't fit into Spanx a year ago - so you strut your stuff Buffy - it's all good! Love ya girlie - looking forward to seeing you soon! Tracy

Thanks Amy!  It feels good....it feels REAL good!  Thank you for your continued support throughout my journey - one of the best parts of WLS is the people I have met and come to know and love - you are definitely one of those that I count as a blessing! Take care, Tracy

Oh, my word!  I can totally see the difference!  Those side by side ones are a great motivator.  I know you don't always feel like it, but you HAVE done wonderful!!  This tool doesn't make us perfect, we are still human.  You just always remember how beautiful you are on the outside, but most importantly on the inside.  Also, please know what a blessing you are to everyone you meet.  I really mean that!!!   I will commit to some changes with you too.  I have stuffed way to much junk in my mouth over the past few weeks and I just feel plain icky.   1. I will drink "at least" 64 oz. of water a day 2. I will start some form of activity and do it 3x a week 3. When I begin to say horrible things to myself that I would never say to anyone else, I will stop myself and think of something that I am thankful for from this surgery. 

I will be praying for your brother too Tracy.   Love and a BIG HUG to you!! 

Sabrinna, I love #3 - I'm going to steal that one!  It's the head stuff that makes this road so tough - if somehow we could go in and get re-programmed!  I just wish I could figure out how to avoid this happening to others, my niece could definitely benefit from a cure as well as many others that struggle with our weight. Anyway, Thank you very much for all of your support throughout my journey!  You are definitely a blessing to me and many others on this board!   Thanks for the prayers for my bro too! Love you girlie!

Congratulations on you success!  Wow!  A picture really is worth 1000 words, isn't it?  It is such a good reminder that even though the pounds might not be coming off, our bodies are still getting smaller and adjusting.  Why are our minds so cruel to us that even after losing 100 pounds we still beat ourselves up about it?  You have done fantastic and you should be so proud of the accomplishments and improvements to your health that you have made.

Amy

Thanks Amy!  It really is a shame that our brain can be so cruel - I guess in part it's probably part of the bigger problem that caused us to get fat in the first place.  Today I denounce the evil part of my brain that tells me so many horrible things!  As I always say "Satan in the back seat! God's driving this train!" Thanks so much for your support - it's one of the best parts of WLS! Hugs & love!

Girl - you look AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WOW - I'm just in awe - those side by side views - reallly shows how far you have come!!!

I love the goals you have set - they are all realistic - you CAN do this!!!!

~HUGS~ & love to ya!