Divorce
I understand it is a very difficult and personal experience. I for one didn't know the post-WLS divorce was SO high until after my surgery. If you are willing to share, I would like to know those of us who have, are or thinking about going through this and possibly the reasons why.
The dynamics in my relationship have changed greatly! Where as I appreciated someone to take care of me before and was VERY dependent, I now cannot stand it. Finding self-esteem has helped me realize that I can take care of myself.
I really wi**** had a different ending. I still consider B. my best friend and he is still my biggest supporter. We just can't stand married.
~V.
Oh Vanessa i am so sorry to hear this. I've heard a lot of horror stories of wls and divorce, i am just praying it doesn't happen to me. So far my husband has adjusted well to my new self esteem. Have you tried counseling? I wish everything was better for you. email me if you need to talk.
Hugs
Linda
Vanessa,
I am 6 weeks post op and my wife and I have talked about the changes that have occured already for me, and what possibly could come. We have been married 28 years and I think our partners get used to interacting to us and when we change, they have a hard time keeping up and understanding what has happened to us. I have been a licensed counselor for two years and I have dealt with lots of clients who have been challenged dealing with all kinds of changes in their lives: unemloyment, death, people who have moved away, abstinece from Drugs, Alcohol, Heart attack, and the list goes on. Most people can make those adaptations if they dedicate themselves to it. I read your profile and I think you have done a marvelous job. My prayer for you and your husband is to find a minister/ counselor who you can work with to talk this out. The work you have invested in the relationship so far will help you get thru this. Remember, growth does not happen without change. Keep me posted. OK?
Take care,
Hugs!
Will
Dearest Vanessa,
Though I cannot truly understand what you are going through, having never been married myself, close, but not at all, I sympathize with you and lend you my ear for venting if you need a friend.
I've felt most of my life that I was suppose to be single for a reason, and though my heart cries for a mate, when I feel I am physically and mentally ready, it will happen. And honestly, though I just turned 47, I'm not ready yet. Not just yet.
So I hope for you happiness ahead and I hope that you find peace in your heart and soul.
Your friend,
Stacey W
310/164
Now wearing size 12
Stacey W
310/164
Now wearing size 12 
Vanessa,
Sorry to hear of your sad news. I would have to agree with everyone here. Counseling, if you both so choose, may help you both work through your individual and marriage issues. In the meantime, a trial separation may help you realize that although you feel you can take care of yourself, that sometimes you need to be dependent on someone. Both have to realize this and adjust to the new you and then maybe you can move on, together.
Michelle
Vanessa: while I can't begin to understand what you are going through, you are in my thoughts at the difficult time. We change so much after our surgery, and I suppose that is hard for those around us to handle. If counseling is what you both want, then so be it. Know that we are all here for you. Take care, hon.
Tracey
Van- I COMPLETELY understand a lot of what you are going through. I myself divorced my husband. It was final last week. I also know of a few other ppl in the same boat as well...who all had WLS. If you wanna chat give me a call or e-mail me, would be happy to share more with you. I can honestly say right now is the happiest in my life I have been. There is life after divorce. I don't encourage it, but some situations don't get better. I got enough self esteem and decided enough was enough. Sounds like ours are different situations, but the same in regards to the divorce part of it. Everything will be ok,God never gives you more than you can handel (in my opinion). I wn full custody of my son and the divorce was final 2 weeks ago. I'm here is you need me.
-Lauri B
Vanessa-
Sorry to hear you are going through a rough time. I was VERY close to leaving my husband several months ago. I think my surgery had alot to do with my decision. My new found self-esteem gave me the confidence to take the step to be on my own. HOWEVER - we decided to go to counseling and we are doing better than we have in several years. Our marriage wasn't over - just stagnant. I never thought the counseling would help but, I was proved wrong. I am soooo glad we went. I know it can't save every marriage but, it is worth a shot. Once you take that step to end a marriage youusually can't get it back. Take Care.
Teri
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