wls evangalist or rude know it all?

I was at the mall today and saw a couple there. Both of them were in those little wheelie carts riding around. Neither one of them could have weighed less than 500 lbs. I am not kidding about that, they were very big, and my heart sunk. I have found opportunities to talk about my surgery out loud at times so others in the vicinity could hear me on purpose, but there was no opportunity to do this today. I know that OH has a place for us to print off cards about our experience and what we have done. I need opinions. Is it rude to quietly share my experience with people who are so obviously suffering, or would I be helping them? I don't want to come off as abrasive or hurt someone's feelings. I know that before my surgery, I was so glad when someone post op shared there story with me, but I don't know how I would have felt if a total stranger would have come up to me and said, " you look like you could use surgery!" I guess what I am looking for here is, what do you guys think about this? What is being rude and what is trying to help another human being, that might be scared of wls because of all the negative publicity. People living in wheelie carts, is just sad and should be unacceptable when this option is available. Opinions welcome. Wendy

Hello, I'm new but your post struck a cord with me. I was researching wls since 2001. Wouldnt accept my ins. Now fast forward to 2005. I started going to a new church, It was probably our third time being their. when at the end of the service, when EVERYONE is standing around talking. A lady comes up to me and suggests wls. First time I met this lady. Several people turned around to look. needles to say I was humilated. I stopped going to that church soon after. This was not the first time this has happened. Its happened in stores also. I personally think its rude. Just my opinion. But I also see the other side. It was a blessing I found out just recently my ins. covers wls now. Donna

I think that if the opportunity is before us, and done in the right way, it may be ok. My example: I am a member of Sam's Club and the picture on the card looked pretty bad. Well, I had lost quite a bit of weight since it was taken, so I just went to member services. I explained that I wanted a new card, since I had lost a lot of weight. It was HER that asked me how I done it, and I explained it was WLS. She was quite interested and I answered her questions. I did stress that it was not for everyone, that I person should really exhaust ALL other efforts before considering this, and realize that once it's done, it's permanent. I also told her that it was not a quick fix - that you won't wake up thin after the surgery, and that the surgery is only a tool - you have to work at it too! I feel that I did not offend her or was rude; nor did I point out that she was overweight and needed to do something. I wanted a new card, and gave the reason why.

If you had come up to me without provocation I would have been P@#SSED. None of your business. I get this all the time because I walk with a cane. Random people think they can talk to me about it and that I in return will want to discuss it with a stranger. None of your beeswax! People will seek help and opinions when they are ready. I don't think it's fair or usually wanted for a stranger to butt in. This is not meant as a flame, JMHO. Randi

Randi, I asked for your opinion and I am happy to hear it! I kind of knew mostly that it was not the way, but the discussion is good to hear! I think I have decided what to do and it won't hurt anyones feelings!! Look for my next post! Wendy

Wendy, I understand exactly what you mean. I applaud you for wanting to help these people. I know once you have success with the surgery you probably want to shout it from the highest mountain. The only thing is that some people will not take it that way and will only see it as you calling them fat. If someone asks for your opinion and story, that is different. But, I remember all those times people would compliment me on being pregnant when I wasn't and it really hurt my feelings and stuck with me for weeks. I understand wanting to help, but you are helping by being on here and posting your story and answering people's questions, people who are asking for it and who want the surgery. Some people are in denial and some just don't want to hear it. You do what you think is best, but I would hate to see you reach out to someone and then have it backfire by hurting them instead. You do what you think is right and, again, I commend you for wanting to help and share your success with others. Mousie