Spouse Issues(self fulfilling prophecy)

Hello all, just had RNY on 7-13-15. My wife is constantly starting arguments over nothing, and in the end it comes out she thinks I'm going to get skinny and leave her. And honestly this behavior is going to make that happen. I reassure her that I am not leaving, I don't want to start over, I love her. What do I do??????

Do something nice for her try to get her to understand that the surgery wasn't to leave it was so you can get healthy.  And maybe take her on a sunset walk on the beach or somthing you two never have done before.  I hope that this helps.

Something like this needs therapy.  See if she is willing to go with you, because if her insecurity continues to push you away it will eventually hurt your marriage.

Good luck.

I guess the first question is "has she always been this way" or is is this new behavior? I know in my case I did get a divorce and I heard she was telling everyone it was because I lost 225 pounds and ran off and found someone else (she had a severe weight issue as well). I had one of our mutual friends relate this to me. My response was, "if that was true then how come it was 6 years after I had lost the weight"? My wife has always had emotional and anger issues. I didn't leave her I just got tired of being thrown out constantly for no reason. Then of course she wouldn't let me leave afterward. This started right after the marriage and our divorce was final 6 months before what would have been our 25th anniversary. 

This is more her issue with herself than with you (unless you've given her reason to really believe this will happen"? She needs to get in a better place with herself. You can't be happy with someone unless your happy with yourself first. You are right in that if she keep nagging, accusing and pushing this may fracture the marriage beyond repair. You can tell her you never thought of that before she mentioned it but you still have no desire to leave you and why would you, right? Just reassure her on your feeling and maybe see if she wants to go talk to someone about her insecurities. Good luck!!!  Rich