SO DISGUSTED *****UPDATE

I "should" be extremely excited!  I 'should' be really happy.  Instead I have such a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.  Let me explain:

This coming Monday is my FINAL visit with the dietician to satisfy the 6 months thing for Blue Care Network.    I will be submitted for approval.  I would finally really be "on my way".

The KINK?  Dh.  And the god-awful timing of a new job prospect.  He went to Atlanta a week ago Wednesday for an interview.  So, you know .. if he were to switch jobs right NOW - bye bye Blue Care Network and bye bye to me getting my surgery around the end of  April like I have been hoping and praying for.  I am fricking ticked off, sad, digusted, etc.  I don't want to go to Atlanta.  So here we sit - KNOWING NOTHING.  He thought they were going to let him know something last Friday.  Nope.  Then he was told he would know something by the end of THIS week.  NOPE.  This uncertaintly is driving me over the edge.  

He's damned determined to take this job if and when  he gets an offer.  I am not one bit happy with this.  I do not want to leave Michigan and our family.  He has a decent job right now.  But the lure of more money is making him not think straight.  Sigh.  Just venting.  Thanks for reading if you were able to read this far....


Suzy

If I were told that a decision would be made by a certain date, it passed and I was then told it would be made by another specified date and that date passed, I would consider the job unavailable.  

On a side note, I have to say that your hubs is being incredibly self centered if he really thinks that a little bit more cash is better than his wife being happy.  I would hold a lot of resentment towards my hubs if he made that kind of decision without consulting me.  I'm sorry if I overstepped....just something I've been wanting to say since you posted about his going to the interview.

no , no overstepping at all.  I feel the same way = and told him so.  Of course he retorts with he just wants what is best for us = and that if he can get THIS big of a pay increase - that is what is best for us.

It's a bad situation all the way around.  No compromise to be made.  I don't feel it's fair for me to just try to put a foot down and tell he can't take the job - but it's also not fair for him to expect me to just roll with thi*****h.  Sigh.  I dunno.

Anyhow - maybe ....HOPEFULLY he won't get the offer.

I think health trumps a pay raise any day. This is about your "life"...hopefully he takes a second look at his commitment to you and not the career ladder. Just in case he should inquire about the insurance plan and maybe you can follow-up to investigate if they offer bariatric surgery coverage.

I hate to come off harsh but I just want us all to have healthy happy endings.

Good luck and keep us posted!

Suzy - I have a couple comments for you - one personal and one professional.  I'll start with the professional. :)  If he does take the job you can continue on with your insurance via COBRA.  It tends to be a litle expensive (although if this job pays well maybe it's not an issue) and now the government is even subsidizing a portion of the premium.  You can stay on for at least six months to a year, if not longer.  (I think it's been extended - not sure of the specifics on that part.)  And you can cancel it when you don't need it anymore.  There'd be some traveling involved to go back and forth, but at least you could have your surgery and then find someone who you can work with down there after it's over.

Now, my personal comments.  My husband and I both grew up in MI and are from small families.  About 13 years ago (after I recently had our child) he got an opportunity for a new job in VA that came with a significant pay raise that basically allowed me to quit my job and stay home with Katie.  So we took it (it was a joint decision.)  I didn't think it would be that big of a deal to be that far away - after all there's still phones, internet, travel options, etc. right?  Well I can tell you I absolutely hated it.   Hated being away from my extended family and my friends, hated the climate difference, the culture difference, etc.  I was miserable, which made my husband miserable.  About three years later we moved to Ohio (closest we could get to MI) and were fairly happy there for about 4 years.  But then Mark got his job back with his Virginia employer but was able to work from home full time.  So where are we now?  You guessed it, Michigan.  I can write on and on and feel free to email me if you wish but the moral of the story is that I've "been there, done that" and I can tell you from my perspective it's not worth it.  Especially if you already have a job. 

Sorry for the length of my post..... 
Cindy

I waited a while to answer this, though it caught my eye the day you posted it. As a rule I would avoid answering such questions but I have decided to respond to yours. You Avatar reflects that you live in an upscale community, and as such it is apparent that your husband is not seeking this new job out of economic necessity. Your surgery, on the other hand, may well be out of health necessity. So, the question you should be asking your husband is: "Where are his priorities?" Chasing the almighty buck, instead of caring for family is the eighth deadly sin, in my book. It is easy to lose everything that really matters by chasing money, including love ones. Sadly most people do not see that they are doing this and often justify their actions as working "for the betterment of the family". This is seldom the truth, and more often then not, the very thing that destroys families and relationships. See if you and he can get some counseling on this.
Best wishes.

Thanks for all the responses.  I do appreciate it.

I guess I need to elaborate a little so my dh doesn't come off sounding like a horrible person...his reasoning is that "IF" he were to lose his job he has now - he would most likely not find work here.  So I said to him = what makes you think you will lose your job and he told me that he is always worried about it.  For no specific reason other than that he has a family to take care of and he worries.   We have no savings, nothing.  So our retirement looks pretty bleak right now.  This new job - with the supposed 30k/yr increase....would certainly help there.

That all being said - I still don't want to go.  And he doesn't get it.  I don't know which one of us is being more crazy. 

So, I had my appt today.  The insurance coordinator was OUT for the day.  I had a different dietician - one I had never seen before.  She had no advice for me at all - I really need to speak to the ins person about all of this.  So I ask when I will be submitted = She doesn't know.  Nice.   Ugh.  Oh, and on the way to the appt I was running late because I walked out of the house without my folder.  So I called the ins coordinator (since her number is the one I have programmed in my cell phone) to let them know I am running late.  It was then that I found out she wasn't in today for her message stating so.  So I threw the phone on the seat next to me and had a hissy fit - and guess what??  I didn't hang up.  so she got an earful in a voice mail.  I couda just died when I realized that.  


Anyhow - we  STILL do not know what's up with this job.  My dh is calling today to try to find out and his friend that started this whole mess isn't answering his phone.  Nice eh?  

Suzy - too funny on the voicemail.  But it's how you felt, right?   So I guess they deserve to hear it. 
Just one comment on the job/economy situation that I forgot to put in my original post but relates to what you wrote.  When Mark and I knew we didn't want to stay in VA long term we were forced to come to the difficult realization that there were basically no jobs he could come back to (he's a mainframe systems programmer - not a lot of those jobs in MI.)  If it hadn't been for the fact his old company would let him work from home we'd still be in Ohio. 

So anyways, my point is you have to also consider what if this potential new job doesn't work out?  Will you be able to find something there?  Will you even want to stay there?  (Who knows - you may love it!  I know of people who moved south who would never want to move back to MI!)

It's tough these days, and I appreciate what he's trying to accomplish.  All you can do is make sure you consider all the good and bad things, and then make the best decision you can.  

Cindy

Yeah it was funny now that I think about it - I am feeling much better today.  DH still hasn't heard back from anyone.  He's in a funk about that.  Of course I am thinking the longer he doesn't hear - the better the chances it's a "no go".

Ok so I spoke with the ins coordinator.  She is submitting my paperwork today to Blue Care Network.  I asked if they could pencil me in - get me a date before hearing back so I have a fighting chance of getting the surgery While I still have insurance.  She is going to get back to me later today about it. 

Everybody I have been telling this to - says "Oh if you get Cobra - you could use that'...well it doesn't work that way anymore.  Neither does self-pay, individual insurance policies.  Because people were getting these policies and paying only for the time they needed to in order to get the surgery then drop them.  So they caught on and stopped bariatrics from being a covered benefit under thsoe policies.  Grrrrrrrrr.

OMG - I can't believe it!!!

I got a date - March 31st!      I asked if I could please just get a date and get on the schedule WHILE I still have insurance - and they came through for me.  

Still haven't heard about the job situation - but I am going to wallow around a bit in my happiness before I start worrying about that again..LOL.

Of course - now I sit and wait to hear if I am approved or not.