Terrified...should I be???

I've TECHNICALLY been a member of this website since 2005 when the idea of surgery popped into my head, but I never did it....I completely freaked out when I read of the risks, complications, and the fact that I could *DIE* from this.  I have two kids under 5 that I really REALLY want to be around for as long as I can be. And let's face it, death is one of my worst fears.

This past weekend, I saw DH's cousin for the first time since she had this surgery adn she looks AAAAMMMMAAZZZZIIIINNNNGGGG.  She went through Grand Health out of GR and told me she would do it again in a heartbeat.  She said she had very minimal pain..the prep and post-op stuff (eating) wasn't really bad at all and now she eats regular foods with no issues (I don't recall how long ago she did this..I think it was a little over a year ago)...and I sat and watched her eat potato salad, chicken, etc!  I was really impressed.

SO, that was encouraging to me and I called and am scheduled to attend one of those seminal things they make you go to first.  I don't have many pre-existing conditions, though, I think I am border-line on cholesterol and insulin-resistance. My gallbladder was yanked 10 years ago and was treated for kidney stones 1.5 years ago......but I do have pretty bad sleep apnea and use a CPAP.  OBGYN suspects being polycystic, although, the blood tests came back pretty normal...though, I am convinced they don't do as deep of tests as an endo would. 

But I am still really conflicted because in the back of my mind, I am still thinking about PAIN, liquid dietsand what does it REALLY taste like (UGH UGH UGH!), how do I prevent the "dumping" stuff after (although, DH's cousin said that is more about eating too much sugar), and of course DYING!!!!!!!!! 

Then...at the back of my mind, I am going, "But do the benefits outweigh the risks"?  Just even now at the thought of successfully doing this, my mood has been WAY lighter...and I even can feel the entire self-esteem go up a bit.  It's CRAZY that even a THOUGHT can change that.

But...I am still scared and questioning my decision.  How does it impact long-term eating? You know...like 5 years from now, am I still going to be having to eat very very little?  

Then this malabsorption thing and the fact that you can't drink anything with a meal (before or after within a certain time-frame)..........

AND....I have a 2.5 year old!  How do I deal without being able to lift him?? Isn't that right that I wouldn't be able to lift anything over 10 lbs??  UGH!  

I am confused...and I don't want to DIE!!!!!!!  Do I risk it or no?????????????  I've got kids that I want to be here for and I know that weight can hinder that, but so can going through with this.   :(

UGH. Help! 

Carrie-your fears are totally normal! It took me about 5 yrs or so to actually go thru the surgery process because I freaked out too! Hopefully I can help w/some of your fears/concerns.

The liquid & "product" diet is temporary, depending on your insurance & what they require you to do. You'll be on product 2 weeks before surgery to shrink your liver so the surgeon can get to all of your innards better-that's a good thing! You'll be on product after surgery also & weaned off gradually to the land of real food. Ahhhhh, real food-mmmmmmmm.

The restrictions on lifting are temporary-I don't remember the exact time-just a few weeks. If you have open surgery, it's longer. I had a 2 1/2 yr old when I had my surgery. He knew that mommy had an owie on her tummy & that he couldn't climb on me for a couple of weeks. My surgery was done lap, not open.

Your other concerns-possible dumping, not being able to drink w/your meals-those are surgery specific. If those are serious concerns, I would suggest looking into other surgery choices. Some people aren't aware there are other surgeries available. I had the duodenal switch-I drink w/my meals & I don't dump, I take motrin, etc. I eat what I want & I'm not bragging-that's just the way it is-that's my surgery of choice. I take vitamins every day(as you would have to w/RNY, because of malabsorption). I couldn't be happier w/my choice, as others are w/their choice. You will learn about the 4 different surgical procedures at your seminar. Keep an open mind & choose the lifestyle that's right for YOU! Don't let your friends, relatives, or even your doctors choose your surgery-you're the one who has to live with it!  Check out the revision board-listen to all of the good & bad from all forums-it's easy to only "listen" to what you WANT to hear &/or to pick up on the negative. Keep an eye out for the positives too!

Good luck to you & please don't hesitate to ask any questions-there are all surgery types & personalities here so someone will always pipe in if you need anything!!

Lisa

I babysit the grandkids.  I had to give up watching the baby for six weeks.  But I was able to take care of the three year old.  They can climb in the car and know enough that g-ma had a bo bo and he had to "help."  If they are younger than 2 1/2-3, you would need help to come it.  but you should be fine.  Also by the time you go thru the whole procedure the 2 1/2 year old most likly would be 3 and the LIKE to be independent at that age.

I really wish this would have been an option when I was your age.  I feel so bad that my kids had to have the fat Mom.  There is so much more I could have done for them and been for them if I just had more energy and the patience it brings.

Also remember to research all the WLS.  Maybe you would feel more comfortable with another.  The Sleeve and Band don't have the malabsorpstion thing.  They all have different pros and cons.  The risks are also different


Good luck with what ever you choose. 

Carrie,

I haven't had my surgery yet, but if you haven't been to an orientation, I recommend it.  I am going through Grand Health Partners in Grand Rapids.  At orientation they talked about complications and how low the mortality rate is for this type of surgery through their office.  Of course, death is always a risk of surgery, but living in my unhealthy body watching my friends live life while I'm too tired and can't keep up is like dying more and more each day.  I'm currently on the pre-surgery diet.  I have to say the food has come a long way even from two years ago.  Two years ago I was on MMPC's medical weight loss program, so I was on the food 3 months then.  It definitely is better. 

Keep in touch,
I have surgery on July 7 and can't wait. 
Have a Terrific Day!
Greg

Hi Carrie,
You have already had lots of good advice from the other posters and I have some thoughts for you too:

The mortality rate from these surgeries is very low.  It was the last thing I was worried about because in reality, you can die from ANY surgery.  I chose my doctor because of his experience (4000+ procedures) and excellent track record.  None of us wants to die.  For me the benefits FAR outweighed the risks but that is something each person has to face individually because we all have different priorities in our lives.

The pain was truly minimal.  I don't have kids so I can't address that worry, but I can say with confidence that the pain was nowhere near as bad as I thought it would be.  I wasn't alone after surgery but in retrospect, I know I would have been fine if I had been alone.

Yes, if you follow the rules and respect your surgery, in 5 years you should still be eating small amounts.  That's the goal - - to not be able to eat the great amounts and kinds of foods that made us all fat. That's why all of the weight loss procedures involve some form of making the part of your stomach that receives food - smaller.  Trust me, there are many good foods to eat even after you eliminate junk food.  The way-hardest part of this is controlling the urge and desire to eat not because of hunger, but simply for the pleasure of eating.  Mindless eating is my demon and I bet I speak for most WLS patient that it's theirs too.  I fight it every day.

Try to think of the liquid diet part of this whole journey as a necessary but temporary step.  It won't last forever.   If you want this badly enough, if you are ready and committed to it, you'll do it without whining because it is a necessary step in the process.  The only other thing I can say about that is -- if we all did it, you can too.

Malabsorption is the great unknown.  We are all different and we all adapt to these surgeries differently.  You will need to take vitamins and supplements, as recommended by your program, for the rest of your life and you will also have to commit to regular blood testing to monitor any deficiencies. 

Oh, I almost forgot "dumping".  Some people don't dump, and with some procedures like the sleeve or the band, dumping is not an issue.  I chose gastric bypass because I wanted the restriction that the possibility of dumping would give me.  I KNEW I would fail with the band  or sleeve because nothing you eat makes you sick - - you get sick if you overeat but you can eat anything and I KNEW I WOULD.   I am a little over three years out from my surgery and I just had my first dumping experience about a month or so ago.  I do not want to experience that ever again.  It is a powerful tool, for me at least, to help me avoid eating certain foods that I shouldn't be eating anyway.  And, dumping isn't just restricted to only sugary foods - high fat foods can do it too, and even eating too much fruit, even though its "natural" sugar, can do it.  What makes you dump is highly individual and you won't know until you "push the envelope" so to speak.  So, don't push the envelope!!  Dumping is a powerful tool and if you want to be successful long term, it can really help you.

One last comment that I hope will encourage you:  My surgery was textbook.  I have had no complications, my bloodwork continues to be good, and I feel wonderful.  I lost 112 pounds over 18 months and have maintained that weight loss for about the same amount of time - that's something I've never been able to do, ever.  I agree with your DH's cousin - - I would do it again in a heartbeat.

I wish you the best of luck and I hope you'll keep us all posted as to your decision.
Karen

I was as terrified as I could possibly be.  What helped me was looking at the Before/Afters on this web site.  Plus, I will tell you what a person before me said...its not that bad.  Seriously...its not.