Boy Girl.... DATE

Oh My......I have lost 42 lbs since surgery RNY on 3/10/09...I was starting to feel good about myself so I joined Match.com.........I thought I was ready to meet a man...Well I had a dinner date last Friday..meet a very nice man..I told him about my surgery..and he seemed OK with it..I told him this was the before picture..and that I had no idea what the after picture of me will be...Now I am scared to death to go out again...I just don't believe I am ready yet... He keeps calling me but I make up excuses as what my plans are...I guess I just need to be honest and tell him that..I guess it did make me feel good that someone might be interested in me...I believe thats a WOW moment...but a scarey moment..I have been alone since I lost my hubby 8 years ago..dated 4 years ago...then I gained 80lbs..Gee why does life have to be so complicated...lol

Hugs Bev

Bev, I thank God every day that I don't have to be out in the dating world now.  It must be so intimidating.
Just take it slow.....when you meet the right person you will know, and you'll be comfortable with them.
But don't be so scared that you let opportunity pass you by.  You're gorgeous, so go out and let those guys know it!!!

It will get easier, I promise!

Bev, you and I need to talk.  We could be clones.  I rant when I can't find a man who is interested in me, then when I do I run like crazy.  I am in EXACTLY the same situation as you right now-met a guy a few weeks ago who thinks I am perfect just the way I am, and I am scared too of going any further.  I am sure he is not the love of my life, but could be someone fun and caring to spend time with and to learn how to be attractive with.

I  am going to give you the same advice my friends are giving me-think of this guy as a trial run for the real thing, and see what problems you encounter and learn how to solve them.  Just make sure that neither of you gets hurt along the way.

 Bev,

FIrst, congratulations with your great progress- 42 pounds is fantastic. I think your feelings of "am I ready or I'm not ready" are pretty common. We start feeling a new confidence in ourselves, but are still haunted by the years(in my case) of sitting in the back and not being noticed. We want the attention, but, don't know what the "heck" to do with it once we get it. I commend you on going out on that first date. I would be honest with the guy, Tell him that you are a work in progress- not only with your size but with emotions, confidence and total undertanding of yourself. Lots of big changes going on and it is an emotional roller coaster.. You will sort it out. Take it one day at a time and all with work out.

Blessings.

Amy H

Amy...thank you for your kind words and encouragement..you are so right Iam feeling like a different person...but also so scared of the new emotions..I am only at the beginning of a new life...and I certainly don't want to rush anything....So Yes I will take it one day at a time..
Thanks again Bev

First congratulation on the 42 pound lost.  You have done a great job.  Also way to go on the date.  I wish you luck.  I don't know what I'd do if I was dating at this time.

Bev,

First woo hoo!!!  Great job, 42lbs gone forever!!!

Second, have fun, try not to look at anything seriously, just enjoy and have fun (easy for a married me to say).   It took me a long time to just say 'thank you' with a compliment and not feel odd or embarrassed getting it.  

Your on a long journey and no one knows where it's going to take you.  Just sit back and enjoy the ride.

Edie