Negative Alumni?

What do you do when you talk to someone who has had the surgery, and now is telling you that maybe you should think twice about doing it?  I have a friend that had the surgery about 9 years ago...she said she had it when it wasn't popular and the insurance still didn't pay for it.  She had the DS surgery.  When I talked to her about it yesterday, this is what she said to me...
So I guess it just depends on you as a person...what is the payoff, are you miserable enough to get it done...or are you comfortable enough that you don't want to go through the hassle and that you'd rather not be a gassy, farty, sometimes sick to your stomach ....kind of life, but looking better and feeling better.
you'll still eat...even if it's small amounts....all day long. And you will gain it back! I know of at least 6 people that have lost well over 100 lbs. and now they are even heavier. So getting in touch with your real feelings and understanding where your weight stems from is so important BEFORE the surgery

Ok, I understand about the head hunger and learning to eat again, so learning how to control my eating is what the support groups and forums are for!
I was so pumped about this surgery, and yes, I am miserable enough at this weight to go thru it, but now I am also kinda bummed by what she said, and sorta deflated.  Maybe this isn't all it is cracked up to be? Surely being thinner far outweighs the negatives of being super obese..  She is the first person who hasn't told me to go for it, that it will be the best thing for me.  She kinda sounded like she was talking me out of it. 

how would you feel if someone said this to you that had the surgery?

What surgery are you thinking of having done?

I had RNY 3 years ago, and just for the record, I am not gassy (unlike some friends of mine) and am now "normal".  Meaning I can eat whatever I want.

If someone had told me what your friend told you....I wouldn't have listened. I was so willing to try anything that even if it didn't work, I didn't care.  I had to do SOMETHING.  That being said, your friend has some valid points.  I wish I would have known a lot of things before I had RNY.  But I did lose 100+ lbs. that I would not have been able to lose on my own.  It's a serious decision, so maybe that's the idea she's trying to convey.

Also take in to consideration that 9 years is a long time, and I'm sure medical advancements will have changed many things since she had her surgery.  There is better after care and education.

Don't let anyone talk you in to or out of having surgery.  It's a decision only you can make.

I have someone like this in my life.  She had open RNY prior to be becoming part of the family in 1999.   It was real easy for her to lose weight, she didn't exercise and didn't take suppliments.  She took 2 buggs bunny chewables a day, and she thought that was all she needed. 

She started having some major health issues about 5 years ago.  I personally feel that is was from her undereducation about her surgery.   She still only takes her chewable vitamins.  She takes no iron, no calcium, no b vitamins.  She does have heart problems from low iron and has to have infusions.  She gets bone fractures real easily, but still does not take calcuim.  She has to have B-12 injections constantly.  She has sores that don't heal.   She has gain everything but about 40 pounds back.  She went from a size 28 to a size 8.  She also refuses to eat properly and consumes way to many carbs and sugars and then is sick from them and the dr gives her more meds to counter the side affects. 

You need to do what you need to do.   I did what I needed to do to keep from having my knees replaced by 45.  I am not at goal, but fell better than I have since my mid 20's.   My personal goal is to prove her wrong. 

Hope this helps

Pam

I do have a friend like that too. She had the RNY about 9 years ago and I too think she wasn't educated in her decision. She regrets it now and wishes she had the band so she could have reversed it. She only lost about 60lbs and then gained it back, plus whatever doctor she had wouldn't communicate with her about her problems either.

I've seen her eat normal things which is why I was more surprised to learn she had had the surgery done, based on what I had seen her eat. Which is also why I think she wasn't properly educated in her WLS tool.

I listened to both sides of the coin. I fully understand this might not work for me, but when Ilook at my successes without surgery I am confidant that my tool in combination with my self control, will power, and knowledge I will be one of the successes rather than one of the failures.

I would have to question your friend's real desires. While it is not done often, RNY can be reversed. All of the stomach is still there and reattaching the pouch to the top of the stomach can and has been done. I know of a person here on OH who because of nutritional complications has been told by her surgeon that if her condition does not improve then he will have to schedule a reversal of her RNY.
Nick

Not everyone does the same .    I had lap rny almost 5 years ago.     I went through a very traumatic time with it.   (read my profile).   I would go through every single thing over again in a heartbeat.  Don't let your "friend" talk you out of it, it seems like SHE failed, not the tool.   It's very hard to learn how to operate your tool , but you learn over time and you have to make sure to research every single aspect of it pre and post op.    If you don't change your lifestyle in the first year or two, yes you will gain it back.   But if you stay focused and determined your life will be so much more than you can ever imagine.  

Don't listen to others point of view.    Start reading profiles and looking at before and after pictures.   Make the decision for you and your health, not others.    I lost 205 pounds, and if i can maintain it anyone can.   Best of luck to you

Linda

Remember, there will always be negative naysayers.   

Yes, some people regain all of their weight, I believe I've read a statistic that it's around 25%.  And yes, your whole digestive system changes, so my stomach is gurgley, I occasionally get a bit of an upset stomach, (luckily gas is not a problem for me (I'm praying for the same for my hubby LOL))....BUT I'm no longer diabetic, I no longer have high blood pressure or GERD.  And that's why I did this!

I think after awhile people forget about all the health benefits they received from this surgery and only concentrate on the size your in.  Yes that feels great too, but it's not why you do the surgery. 

It is the best thing I have ever done for myself.  Does it have it's ups and downs, of course.  But anything worth having is worth working for.

Good luck and come back and ask as many questions as you can think of, because ultimately this has to be a decision you are happy you made.

Edie

This person was not prepared for the realities of her weight loss surgery. This is why the surgery centers that offer pre-surgical screening and post-surgical care is so important. This also brings up one of the things that DS advocates fail to consider when claiming the superiority of DS. DS is not reversible and once done, an unhappy or dissatisfied patient, or a medically failed DS, can not be undone as an RNY or Lap Band can. By her very words she is not realistic in her diet and was doomed to failure. You can not eat all the time after WLS! It is a tool to learn new eating habits and unlearn bad habits. Grazing is the number one cause of failure. Determination to live is my number one inspiration to succeed. I know that the surgery was not a magic bullet to success. I have my part to do as well. I have to still take enough care to do the right things for me now. Just like everyone knows that they must drink water or breath to survive I know I must take my vitamins and eat properly to succeed. As for the side affects, can they possibly be as bad as an early death, heart problems, cancers, etc., not to mention the day to day struggle to do even the simple tasks of life? You are in a great program, it you follow it it will serve you well.
Nick

 We all hear about those who fail, and I'll admit I wish I never needed surgery.  I also wish I had never let myself balloon to over 400 lbs and that I had the will and ability to have shed the pounds on my own.  The reality though is I did let myself get HUGE and I couldn't lose the weight on my own.  
I believe far too many people go into this surgery looking for a quick fix and that bothers and worries me.  We're doing major 're-designing' of our digestive track.  We got the way we did because we enjoy eating big portions, drinking pop, eating a bag of chips or m&ms, etc.  This surgery will allow you about 12-18 months of reprograming in your eating habits.  After that you will find that you can eat almost normal portions and can easily fall back into bad habits.  Those of us who have been successful take that window and make the absolute most of it.
Would I do the surgery again, in a heartbeat.  No hesitation, no ifs/ands/or buts about it.  I needed it and it worked beautifully for me!  I am a very different person now than before surgery.  I never would have dreamt I'd run a marathon, let alone looking at doing at least 2 this fall/winter (maybe 3 if get in the New York marathon).  I'm also signed up to start doing triathlons this summer with two pretty long ones later in the season (70.3 miles worth!).  
Will you go to that extreme in exercise, who knows but I will promise you this: if you don't commit to get moving somehow you will not see the success that you are searching for.  It doesn't have to be the extremes that I've gone to, it could simply be walking for 20 minutes 4 times a week (though that's how I started).  
There's always people *****gain the weight and I do think most people will regain at least a small portion of their weight loss.  Just realize that once we hit goal we will have to work as hard as everybody else to maintain or drop those extra 5-10 lbs.
Think through what you're doing and try to decide how you're going to change your life on the other side of surgery.  It was the single best thing I've ever done for myself.  I am a huge advocate for WLS, but it's not a quick fix.  Weight has been and will probably always be a concern/struggle for all us.  This surgery just gives us a much needed tool in our battle for health
--Sax

I really appreciate all your replies.  I know that this is just a tool to start a new life.  I know I have to do all the hard work and that it is not a quick fix...far from it.  I just wanted to be reassured that it was worth it in the end.  my so-called friend is doubting that it was worth it....that was the question that I was having after talking to her.  Then again, I think being almost 10 years out, she forgets what it was like to be heavy like she used to be.  She doesn't want anyone to know she had the surgery, she keeps it a secret from her work and clients..  I guess what I am saying is that maybe it is easy to talk like that when you are skinner than it was coming from a heavy person.  She doesn't struggle daily in life.  My BMI is 54, every day is difficult for me.  I feel I have no choice or I am going to die.  My PCP Dr feels this will give me the second chance at life that I need to do it right this time...to learn to eat proper instead of indulging myself in whatever I want.  That's what I am looking for...a chance to start again.  one of those..."I know now, what I should have known then" situations.   Lord knows we don't go for surgery just  because we want to look pretty, but usually it is a deeper reason, or need.  I didn't make this decision lightly.  Im 50 years old, and I want to play with my grandchildren.  I'm hoping this RNY gives me the chance to do so.