Battling with myself and others!

Dear Laurie,    Thanks so much for sharing your own experiance! I really admire you and your deciation; just love your replies and honesty on the boards. You are an inspiration to us all. You look great too by the way. I hope that I can carry this out as well as you have! I guess I have a very deep fear that my past will come back to haunt me; along with the evil nay sayers I have to deal with!     Today I got back on my treadmill for 40 minutes; burning over 400 calories. While doing this I was imagining every step on those who taunt me! LOL I am trying to gather all my strength and muster up perspective to get back on the good side of the track again. After all it is my life; and not theirs. Thanks again, Hugs, Judy R

Can you tell me what RNY stands for.  Is that the lap band or something different? Jackie

Hi Jackie,    RNY is a term for the surgery in which the make our stomach smaller and reroute our intestines for some malabsorbtion. So our bodies have been altered forever. It is not an easy fix; and we must be decidcated the rest of our lives to eating right, taking our vitamins, changing our lifestyle; and exercise. Also you can no longer eat certain things like sugar! Sugar causes dumping sydrome (sweats, flu like, shaking ect). I am glad I chose this because it was best for me. I have conquered my diabetes, sleep apnea, and high blood pressure. My daughter is a lapbander; and it has worked quite well for her too. I am for any tool that helps us. Sincerely, Judy R

Hi Judy, I wish you could feel differently about your situation. I, after several years of wanting to have the surgery, have finally been approved and scheduled. Let me tell you, I have been telling everybody. I don't really care if they know or not.  I know how they feel about me now and that they all talk about me, about how fat and ugly I am, and that I should be ashamed of myself for looking like this. Especially if I make them mad, I am a fat b@#%.   I am getting so tired of people looking at everything I eat, buy, drink, and order at restruants. So my feeling is........let them talk. Who's business is it anyway. It is only yours and always will be. For the most part,  people have showed concern about me having the surgery....a couple kind of jealous....and a couple just really happy that I don't have to suffer anymore from being fat. So my advise would be.....don't worry about what everybody thinks. You already know that you did the right thing to make yourself happy and healthy. That is all that matters. I hope that you can just let this slip off of your shoulders and just enjoy the new you.....I know that I will in a month or so. Good luck, Aimee

Thanks Aimee,     Wishing you the best with your new future as well. One thing you don't understand is that the back stabbing never goes away! Sometimes it can even get worse! I had a lady the other day that did not even know how I lost my weight see me eating a hotdog; and she said should you be eating that? I was furious. When people make assumptions and judgement they haven't got a clue. I don't make it a regular practice to eat such a thing; I hadn't eatten all day and was getting sick. Anyway, I believe we all have choices; and if you chose to keep this to yourself it is your right to do so! I have found there are a lot of ignorant people about WLS; and jealous ones waiting for you to fail too.. Good luck with your future. Hopefully you will have supportive people; and not critical ones! Sincerely, Judy R

Judy, I'm feel the same way as you do about this being a private thing.  I don't know if it's fear of failure or what.  I've only told a few friends and family and have pretty much sworn them to secrecy by fear of death.  I've been through so many "diets" and having people sticking their nose into my business or being happy when I have failed.  I've finally learned (I hope) that I have not given ANYONE else permission to be my Food Police.  I think I have become assertive enough to deal with them, but it does anger me that people think they have that right.  I hope you can get through this as best you can and show them all what a bunch of Losers they are to treat you that way! Hugs, Kathy

I told everyone I had the surgery.  I'm very proud of my accomplishments.  That being said, I remind people that have something to say that the first 6 months are usually a gimme but after that it takes a lot of work to keep up the weight loss.  I had someone mention to me at lunch that I ate a lot today.  I took the time to explain to that that soup goes right through and the salad will help bind it some so I don't get hungry until dinner time.  I also tell them that some days I can be really hungry but can only eat a few bites and other days can eat a 6" Subway sub.  I never know what I can eat but I do know that I keep up with all my food and protein and make sure I exercise.  This usually shuts people up because you are doing a heck of a lot more than they ever thought of. Don't worry about pleasing these people.  Stand up for yourself and show them how proud you are of your accomplishments.  They'll eventually come around and be proud of you too or if not, then you can just ignore them.

I was really worried about everyone finding out at work, because I'm a teacher, and kids have NO filter when it comes to asking questions or giving opinions!  I just didn't want to have to deal with it over-and-over ... and over, especially to people who it was none of their buisness.  I also have back-pain issues - so I've used that as my "cover".  I've told people (when they ask) that I'm going to "get something done that will help with my back", or "we're trying something to get me moving which should help with my back and the extra weight I've put on" (hopefully to deflect the WL comments). That was going fine until someone on staff heard it was by-pass surgery I was getting.  Now EVERYONE knows.  People I normally don't even talk to are coming up to me and sharing their opinions (negative and possitive).  I've even had to say (when people are talking loud in public), I apprecate your support/comments, but this is very personal to me and I'm not comfortable talking about it.  Well .... now THAT word is out - and I've had less people asking!   It's weird to have something so private, so widely broadcast whenI only told four people!