Hard thing to ask..

Alright I have been debating whether or not to post this but I decided to go ahead and do it. Before I make my statement and ask my question I want to let everyone who is reading this that I'm not trying to make light of the very hard decision to have this surgery. I read over and over again how everyone says this is very hard work after surgery. I have my surgery set for 3 weeks from today so I have no first hand experience of what life will be like afterwards. But what's so hard? You don't crave food like you used to in the beginning, you can't eat as much as you used to or else you'll have dumping and you get to still drink lots of water (which I always have done). So what's so hard? I have a wonderful support system of my husband, family & friends who are all rooting for me. I'm 110% committed and ready for a change. I know once I see results and get my activity level up I'll be on the road to success. But what does everyone mean by it's hard? I never get a straight answer and was hoping for someone to be honest.  I hope I'm not offending anyone. I know some people have had complications or severe pain after surgery and my heart goes out to you. It's just been in my head and felt I needed to get it out there.

1. pain 2. Food cravings 3 capacity 4 Nausea 5 sleeping 6 explaining 7 reading food labels 8 chewing 9 cramps 10 fear 11 water intake 12 pill/vitamin taking 13 nutritional planning 14 binders and drains 15 infections 16 pneumonia 17 Jay kp Added- 18 Weird Toilet habits 19 Gas 20 Always being cold 21Ketosis 22 Regulating your intake to your activity level 23 knowing when you are dumping or spiking

I'll bet there are more.

I would do it again in a heart beat.

 

Good for you for asking questions...it's the best thing to do prior to anything to do with your health. KP named just about everything...

In my case, I am almost 4 years out now and have gained some weight back.  Not all gain again...but I did.  I've had about a 40 lb gain from my initial loss of 125 lbs.  I'm still ahead of the game, true, but I'm just a little disappointed in myself for allowing myself to get back into some bad habits, such as snacking, not drinking as many liquids as i used to, stopping the walking I used to do on a regular basis, etc.  If you follow the rules of the tool, you won't have any problems with weight gain.  But as we all know, they don't do surgery on your "brain"!  And yes, at first, even the first 2 years, I would never even thought I would stray off the "eating correctly and exercise" path, but I tended to get lazy and didn'****ch as closely as I should have.  There were many personal issues along with this for me, and that can get you off the beaten path of success.   But you asked and I just wanted to tell you so you don't let this happen to you.  Best advice?  Stay proactive in your tool rules and you will be successful!  It's important. Best of luck to you! Theresa  

I will echo your statement of not wanting to offend while being honest: Obviously, if you are obese, you have a problem with food.  You can't stop yourself from eating more than what your body requires to be healthy.  If you could, then you wouldn't be overweight and you wouldn't need to have surgery. That being said, I think the hard part is dealing with whatever made you obese in the first place.  I too have a great support system.  But that support system didn't help me from gaining so much weight that I was 319lbs. the day of surgery.  My own behavior led me to do this, and the hard part is....my brain was exactly the same when I came out of surgery.  I got a great jump start on weight loss for the first 7 months after surgery.  The "hard" part of that phase was all of the above that Kevin mentioned.  Your whole life is consumed with what you're eating, how much you're eating, nutrition values, questions about are you losing fast enough, too fast, etc.  There is reaction to a new body that you are not used to.  I threw up every single day for the first 5 months.  And not because I was ignorant to the "rules" or didn't take my surgeon's advice.  It's just what my mean little pouch liked to do.   So now I'm 1 1/2 years out and I did not know what hard was before!  I do not dump, and I can eat quite a bit of food.  I have to think about every single bite I take, or it shows up on the scales.  I fight a lot of hunger, both head and real.  I don't for a second regret my decision, but I do wish I had personally known someone that had surgery before I did it.  It would not have been such a shock to realize that although I was obsessed with food before surgery, I would become even more obesessed (in a different way) after.   Also, the statement "you don't crave food like you used to in the beginning" isn't true at all.  Many of us have sat down and cried at food commercials on TV when we were first post op.  Also, you still get to drink a lot of water, but some days you would rather eat glass than sip any more water because your pouch is so full.  Then you'll be worried that you only drank 20 oz. and just can't do any more.  It's all a balancing act, and you will eventually adjust to it, but it's not easy. I hope to have you post a few weeks post op that things were not hard for you.  You may be one of those people that just breeze through.  It's good that you're asking questions like this!

Good  Question, not offensive.  I see listed a lot physical difficulties with the surgery.  For me, physically, the surgery was very easy.  What is SO hard is the emotional part of what comes afterwards.  As your body changes, people treat you differently.  Socially, you will never be the same because of having to change your habits so drastically.  Me and my husband had to develop new dating habits.  People see me as a thin person, and do not think that I understand how a fat person can feel.  Pain was the least of my complications.  Would I do it again, ABSOLUTELY.  My life is wonderful.  But you MUST be prepared for change, and by that do not mean just physical change.  YOU have to be ready for change in EVERY aspect of your life as a fat person.  This was the hard part for me.  If you do not change every part, then success will be difficult.  I hope this helps, and does not offend anybody.   Carol

My family never understood this procedure.   Still don't.  They question what I do. However, it is a choice I made to save my life.  Nothing else mattered.  I was 325lbs and 5'1" and the co-morbidities included diabetes, high blood pressure, sleep apnea, chronic asthma, back pain, allergies, chronic asthma, and basically life was quite miserable. I also chose to do this and then, the same day as my pre-ops my father was diagnosed with terminal cancer and I had NO support.  NONE.  I had just moved here and knew 1 person.  Support came from this board and from the people in my WLS surgeon's office.    KP and Jay have a list but I can add a few more: "You may be told you took the easy way out many times" "People may not notice the weight loss but you do" "You will enter the world of a rollercoaster and never get off" How to deal with those: ----tell them to do their homework, more people who have had WLS keep the weight off than those who didn't    People who have WLS have more altering life changes to get use to FOREVER than those who just diet. ----the thing is that YOU Notice because YOU didnt do this for THEM ----just hold on tight, it gets easier every day and the ride tends to get easier with time. You have to make sure in your research this is what YOU want. NO one else can do it for you. Like those have said Support is good but the support didn't get one obese to begin with.  You have to change the way you eat. THIS MERELY IS A TOOL.  Nothing more.  you do all the work.  Like KP said-- I would do it again in a minute. Stacey W

Let me say first off:  I'm glad I did this, I would do it again. But, this is a lifestyle change.  I have found  I have to be aware of what I'm doing all the time while I'm eating.  If I eat too fast and don't chew, I throw up.  I am writing everything down, and trying to stay healthy.  I feel this is my last chance at good health.  You have to adjust emotionally, socially, physically to this type of life.  Since my life was centered around food before surgery, I am disappointed when I can't have everything at a party.  I have to pick and pick the right foods.  At this point of my journey there is no potato chips, or a plate full of fruit before dinner, or a hotdog and a hamburger on the same plate.  I used to love going out for the food.  I'm being honest.....the friends I visited was a nice addition, but I really enjoyed the food that went with it.  That part of my enjoyment is gone.  And yes, you still have hunger.  Head hunger, real hunger, watching the clock to make sure you stop drinking in time for your meal, and watching the clock to ensure you wait after the meal.  People think this is easy or the easy way out.  Not so.  The weighloss is great, but your life changes.   Medically, this is the best think I could of done for myself.  I was on 6 pills for diabetes, now I'm off all of them with normal surgar levels, blood pressure is down, off one pill with 2 to go.  That in itself is worth the journey! I am just being honest.  

Thank you all so much for the replies. It's great that I can ask a difficult question and get REAL answers back. I'm here to learn as much as possible and everyone has made that possible. I plan to keep on reading what I can and asking questions so I hope not to be bother here on the boards. I hear from a "reliable source" that kp is great at giving direct answers! So thanks for that. You are all my inspiration and I hope to learn from every one of you! :)

In addition to all the wonderful responses above, I'd like to add that one of the hardest things for me was learning my body all over again.  It's not the same after surgery.  You have to relearn, reteach your new pouch, etc.  It was frustrating because before hand, I knew what I liked, how much I could eat, what would make me sick, etc.  Prior to surgery, I apparently had a stomach full of ulcers, it never bothered me before, but when you take that stomach and reduce it to the size of a walnut or less, your ENTIRE "stomach" becomes one large ulcer and believe me, I feel it's wrath.  So that's difficult as well. Can I also mention that if you're still in your childbearing years to PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE be vigilant with the birth control methods, double or even triple up on them.  I ended up getting pregnant 6 1/2 months out of surgery which is NOT ideal of course.  I've got 50 lbs to goal still, so I know it will be a struggle.  Plus, it's a bit riskier for you and the little one.  Please, just be careful. Best of luck to you and congrats on making this most difficult, yet life changing decision.

Dear Jen,    I pretty much agree with everything on everyone's list too. Remember why you are choosing this path! All of us chose it to improve and lenghten our lives.. I had a few complications, still dealing with some in the vitamin area; but I WOULD DO IT AGAIN IN A HEARTBEAT! I am healthier than I have been in years; and much happier. My husband says he has his wife back; my children and grandchildren have thier mom and grandma. This is a lifelong commintment; and if you aren't ready for it (DON'T DO IT)! There are so many things that are different in any every case; yours also will be unique to you. You may be one on the luck ones that never has to deal with complications; or you may have one after another! I think may of us agree dispite our own personal trails of WLS; we would step through that door time and time again! But your choice is what you make it; and support is important. Make the best chioce on the opitions based on your needs, and your life! Sincerely, Judy R