Upset!!!!!

Hi all,          Looking for some advise. Yesterday my husband and I went to my cousin's house to see her and her husband and daughter and kids. She is one of the very few family members I told about my wls (the only one outside immediate family). She always seemed very supportive about my decision to have the surgery and kept emailing me about wanting to see me and how much weight I have lost. So we got  there and NO ONE said how good I looked or how proud they are, they did NOT say anything!!!!!!  I have lost 54lbs since my surgery On June 5th. My friends and neighbors (who don't know I had wls) said I look great. I guess I am disappointed in my cousin because we are like sisters and she didn't say a word. I even stood up half way through the visit and sid I now have a waist! Still NOT a word!           I usually don't give a damn what people think and I usually am an up beat person, but this non reaction has really upset me!  Having this surgery was scary and a very hard for me to make but I am glad I made it cuz it saved my life! Anyone elese had this reaction from someone they loved and trusted?                      Thanks for listening!!!!!     Suzie

Suzie, Congrats on the loss!!  I just joined you on the bench and I kept things very quiet before the surgery.  I don't know if I'll regret it or not, but everyone pretty much knows now.  I figure after I lose the weight it won't be a secret and who cares. Anyways-- I've got a sister-in-law, aunt, and a very close family friend who are all doing weigh****chers.  It seems whenever I tell them they're looking great it's always when they haven't lost any weight for 2 weeks or they just gained a pound (they've done very well by the way).  So, for me it's always been more akward to compliment them without a prompt from them about how things have been going. I'm sure as soon as you left the topic of discussion was how great you looked!  They know that you're a little sensitve and don't want to make too big of a deal and make you feel akward.  With how close you are to them it sounds like they're trying to support you in the best possible way.  Next time you visit tell them how much you're down and I"m sure the next 10-20 minutes of conversation will be how great you look Hang in there, you're doing great! --Sax

Hi Sax               Congratulations on your weightloss too! Thanks for the advise and a new way to look at it! They did know how much I lost because we email everyday I am very open with them and talk about my journey with them. I guess I  have too high expectations!   I will continuue to complament them  even though they don't me.                                                                                            Good Luck, Suzie

Hi I also find that I have the same problem with some people. I have lost 125lbs so far and I will run into ppl that I have not seen in a while and at first I told them how much I have lost and their response was oh thats nice, so now I know who  wants to hear about my weight loss. So now I dont say anything unless they bring it up first. In my opinoin I think some ppl are jealous or they dont know how to respond, and some think that we just took the easy way out (YEA RIGHT).  You have did a great job with your weight loss keep it up.                                             Tammy

Hi Tammy,                      WOW 125!!!!!! Congratulations, hope to be me soon too. Sorry it has to happen to ANYONE who losses weight. I figure I am happy and that's all that counts.   My husband thinks it is jealousy too. This kind of response is so not my cousin!!!!!!! I agree this surgery is not the easy way out because we all have learn to eat all over again!!!!!!!! And give up alot of comfort food.   But I will not let ANYONE get to me again that visit was a wake up call!!!!!! I will try to understand their reasons for it.                             Hugs, Suzie

Way to go Suzie,     Stand tall, be proud; and forget the jealous jerks! I too came across this with some family and friends. Yes, it hurts for a moment; but let it go. They can not diminish what we have really earn with stepping up, doing the work, and making the risk. Let this be your sign : Don't mind me, even if I am more confident now:! You will find this more and more; the more noticeable it is sometimes the harder they try not to! Take it where you can get it; and let the rest of the jealous people go their miserable ways. I have found even those who I used to share some of my most strong hopes and dreams have accused me of changing (not for the better); and have backed away! It deeply hurt for a while; but now I know it is them not me!!!! One niece like a daughter to me who was also heavy (and we always talked about what it would be like to be thinner); is now telling all the family I like the old Judy better. Noway I say! I am still that same gal in my heart and soul; and if she can't see that then it is HER. Sorry that this happens. Hugs and Best Wishes to your continued sucessful journey, Judy R

Congrats on your loss so far, you are doing great! You will have those that won't comment on your loss, i dont know if it is jealousy or what, but my sister in law is the same way. it has been 14 months and she has never said a word about my loss or how i look, oh well. her loss! keep up the good work and dont let others hurt you because they dont comment! lean on those who are supporting you and go girl! teri

Thank You Judy and Terri for your support! I am in the new learning curve on how some people react. I have been over weight for 17 years. Went from a size 2 to 24 so it has been a long and unhealthy road for me. I now will only look forward to the future. This web site is so wonderful and full of information and support . Knowing other people experiance the same things as me and how they deal with it helps a bunch!            Thank You All!!!!!!                                                                      Hugs, Suzie