REGRETS???!??

No regrets here. I honestly don't think our surgeons are responsible for the condition of our minds. I was very well educated as a pre-op patient. We were told right up front at our nurse/nutrition consult that this surgery is a tool if used properly will help us to lose weight and become physically healthier ~it does not fix any head problems so if you struggle with any mental/emotional or relational issues you should see a counselor or therapist about it now. This surgery has a high divorce rate post-op. Mental health should not be taken lightly when having this surgery. That is why we have to have a psych eval. to make sure we are able to deal with the changes. Problems are not always found at that time, but it is our responsibly to get the help we need. My medical team knows that mental health is just as important as physical health. They have 3 support group meetings a month. Two of them are with our psych. Who specializes in obesity and bariatric medicine. Sorry but I have to say what ever head problems we have post-op is not the fault of our surgeons, nor can we blame them for that in any way. I hope you feel better soon Van. God bless you, Annette

Hi Vanessa! i look at it this way... if i was blind and a surgeon restored my sight and then i saw something traumatic... would i blame the surgeon? If i was crippled and surgery restored my ability to walk... and i walked out into the highway and wa**** by a bus... would i blame the surgeon? i suppose all of us have received differing amounts of information and I DO think that the bariatric centers should be required to do a certain amount of screening and education. But i do think anyone who would approach this surgery without making them self aware of the risks is in denial and that ultimately they had the ability and responsibility to educate them self. I do think if there is no education and no screening that the surgeons are negligent and i'm sure it happens. But in general no, i do not think the surgeons are responsible for our misfortunes.

I don't post here too often anymore, either. I am 19 months postop, and finally at goal. So, I am not a newbie, nor an "old-timer". My opinion on this is, "life is difficult". Period. I know I had big problems as an obese person, huge problems, physically and emotionally. Not ever having been at a normal weight, all the preop counseling in the world probably could not have prepared me for how I would feel now. My life is not perfect, far from it, but it is good. I have my health back, my mobility, and my surgeon is directly responsible for that. I just don't know if there would have been any way to predict what problems I could experience as a result of this surgery mentally. I have been married for thirty years. Has the change in my body image affected my marriage. Probably. But that would be an issue for my husband's counseling. Should all preop patients be required to have couples counseling? How much counseling is enough to decide about having surgery? Would I have undergone surgery if my husband had been deadset against it? I don't know. Addiction transfer is a problem for some people. Yes, there should be more research and discussion about this preop, would that change our minds? It seems there, the counseling needs to be for the addictive personality, not which specific addiction it is, ie. food, shopping, drugs, etc. I don't know what my life will be like in another six months, no one can predict how our lives will turn. My father died suddenly two weeks ago, I couldn't have predicted that. Everyone has problems in their lives, some are common to many, some are specific to weight loss patients. Even though I struggle with my food issues, especially this time of year, I am so grateful for my life, my health, my family. I am happy I have the problems I have now instead of the ones I had pre-WLS. At least I have the physical stamina to face them. Debra M. -207 pounds below goal

i've been giving this a lot more thought and it occurs to me that i was blessed with a lot of info pre-op that others might not have gotten. i was required to attend support groups where i heard about the problems that can arise with relationships, the self-image problems, the eating disorders that can still exist etc. After much thought i think i agree that if someone is not presented with this information that the surgeons are partly to blame for what happens afterwards. I think it's negligence to perform this surgery on someone without first making them realize the struggles that lie ahead. I don't think the surgeons are to blame or can alter these things, i think that's ultimately up to the patient, but i do think the surgeon has a responsibility to warn the patient and to give them the opportunity to arm themselves against the risks ahead.

Hi Van: Long time since we've heard from you, kinda like me! My thing is just plain being busy and not getting online much. Hi to you, too Janice! Remember when I told you all that I had to do the three months of diet, exercise, and behavior modification to get insurance approval. Well, that program dealt with behavior modification twice as much as the other two areas. I heard all kinds of people saying how "unfair" they thought Aetna was for requiring these things. I wasn't thrilled with driving to Grand Rapids once a week for three months and paying the extra money out of my own pocket (insurance only covered it when the doctor talked to me, not any of the meetings). You know what, those classes were the best thing to prepare me for what was about to happen. I have told many, MANY people to not complain when insurance required them to do things they need to do before they had surgery. It is for the overall, long-term results and changes you have to deal with, and is SO necessary. Now, the one thing I didn't realize that I would have to deal with was a burning anger that overcomes me sometimes. I must have self-medicated myself with food before (chocolate), because I don't remember ever feeling this way before. Maybe this is a mid-life problem, too, I don't really know. I do know that I never thought losing weight was going to make the rest of my life perfect. Even people that are thin their whole life have problems. I think being thin makes everything we have to deal with as human beings easier. It doesn't make life in general EASY. If you need therapy to deal with your issues, get that help. You shouldn't have to suffer without help. I also agree with the others that said it gets a little harder to deal with things when we aren't getting that constant affirmation from everyone that we were getting right after surgery and through that first year. Well, that's life! None of us get daily affirmation for all the work we do. My hubby just retired with 30 years under his belt, and I can tell you right now, he hardly ever heard "good job" from his colleagues or bosses, and he worked EXTREMELY hard. Maybe we can all work on encouraging those farther out and make their day now and then!! I know it made my day to get an e-mail from Janice last week saying she missed me. It made me start reading the board again. I know Theresa has always been a light on this board for all of us and I appreciate all her time and positive energy. I am thankful to all of you that have been there for me in prayers and comments over the last two plus years. Chip L., Amy H., Wendy, Laurie G., Annette L., Katie H., Patty J., Eileen B., Carla K., (I know I haven't named everyone) and all the people that I have been an angel for over the last couple years have been so special to me and keep me grounded. It's always exciting to be part of someone's life that's beginning their weight loss journey. I think we need to focus on the positive as much as possible. Hope this helps someone to get through some blue or low times! We have great people on this board and they have become wonderful friends! Take care and keep the faith! Love, Pam