REGRETS???!??

It has been an extremely long time since I have posted! It is with a heavy heart that I post this message. First off let me clarify, I do not regret my surgery. I however have a HUGE problem with the amount of education that happens pre-op. I have now watched MANY of my WLS friends divorce and trade food for other addictions. I have heard the stresses and mental changes of WLS compared to those experienced after a sex change. However, before the sex change surgeries are performed over a year of intense therapy is required. Post-op another year. Mine required a 45 minute consultation. I did a lot of my own research but the statistics I have witnessed first hand it I have come acrossed in my research. I would really like to hear of others that fear the surgeons share some responsibility in the misfortunates of some of us experience post-op. I know some will say it is our own responsibility. I have been in counselling since my surgery. However, most shrinks are not aware of the severe changes associated with the surgery. I would like to hear from anyone who feels there is a lack of pre-op education.

I have no regrets! St Mary Mercy's Bariatric Program requires you to attend 2 -2 hour classes. You get a patient manual detailing everything that's going to happen from the minute you check in to the hospital until 4 weeks post op. We had homework to do and it had to be turned in. It was very informative. I was not nervous going in for surgery 1 bit. I was more upset about leaving my 7 1/2 year old son that having major surgery. It was the best thing I have ever done. I am 3 months post op and I've lost 75 pounds. I have done this knowing that I am changing my lifestyle and ways of eating. I am leading a healthy lifestyle now. I feel great and have self-esteem and self-confidence now. My son's father acted like an idiot when I first had my surgery but that's his problem not mine and he got over it. Things are great now! Stacey B

Wow Van, alot of what you said hit home for me. Although I did feel I received alot of detailed pre-op info, (I loved my Dr. and preop care) and yes, it's all worded in the information we receive as well, etc., but I know that I myself was so anxious to get going on my surgery, that nothing else mattered, no matter what the repercussions...it was going to be worth it. And of course the old addage, "None of that would ever happen to me." Surprise!....at different levels, it has. Let me say this...I DO NOT REGRET HAVING THE SURGERY. But emotionally it is a roller coaster ride, even years out, although the "hills" get smaller. I've always said we (wls patients) should be required to have follow-up therapy to cope with all the changes, addiction transfers, etc. It's a very real fact, some have these problems, and some don't, but being more prepared for them would only help. I've found out thru this process that I'm not perfect...I can't control everything. Why I thought I ever could is beyond me, since I chould control my addiction to food. All aspects have to be considered when going into this, and I think we all "think" we are prepared in every way, but I also am finding out in many cases we are not. So I say, MANDATORY THERAPY FOR COPING WITH THE CHANGES SHOULD BE A MUST! Hugs, Theresa

Okay so this post answers my question in your last post....LOL. Van, I have been preaching this to anybody and everybody that would listen. What most of the newbies don't realize is that once you are out as far as we are ALL bets are off. If we could only live in the honeymoon stage the rest of our lives!!! They need to do some intensive studies on those that are 3yrs + out and see where we are and how we are dealing with life. How much of a regain issue there is, how we are learning to live with our new bodies, especially those who have been over weight all of there lives.( I think this can be even more difficult on those who have been obese there whole life). These Bariatric Program attempt to fix our bodies but are neglecting the problem that got many of us here in the first place, our BRAINS. I DON'T know 1 person who is or was obese that isn't dealing with emotional issues. Food is our drug of choice. It saddens me that this is still not being recognized by the medical community. Dr's. don't know what to do if they can't prescribe a drug or surgery. It is up to us to educate them, I would like to find out if there are any studies being considered or going on. I would love to be a part of that. If we have to go thru all of this heartache I don't want it to be in vain. If we can make a difference for those who come after us. It will be worth the struggle. I am going to do a little digging and see if I can't come up with something. I can't believe there isn't some research going on out there. If I find anything I will be sure to let you know. Being so far away, are you feeling like you are having to go this alone? Have you found a support group out there? We had our support group Christmas party last night we had a great time. I wish you could have been there. I sure miss you girl! As far as pre-op education, you are right we got very little, but I am hoping it is getting better. What bothers me is they really didn't have any long term statistics when we had surgery, I think it's high time they start putting data together. It makes me wonder what they are afraid of. Are they afraid of what they may find out???? I hope I am wrong and just am lacking info. I will let you know if I find anything. God Bless you kiddo. Love ya, Toni

I think the biggest problem with education is that your surgeon, most of his staff, your physologist(sp) and anyone else has not had Bariatric Surgery so how can they help you when they have not been in your shoes?? How can you tell someone how to raise their child when you yourself has not had a child, how can you help someone cope with death if you yourself has not dealt with death, so again, how can you help your weightloss patient with alot of their issues when you yourself have not been in their shoes. I just found a PCP who has had gastric bypass and I feel so close to her, because although she is only a year out, she knows what is going on. I myself have some issues that alot of people here don't deal with so who can help me other than someone who is going through the same thing? Good questions I think and wish someone could answer them for me. I don't mean to sound so down with the holidays here and blah, blah, blah but ya gotta wonder!!!!!

Regrets, Ive had a few But then again, too few to mention I did what I had to do And saw it through without exception I planned each charted course Each careful step along the byway Oh, and more, much more than this I did it my way,,,,, Honestly, I have no regrets. I planned everything I did and all that happened to me. Most of the surprises for lack of a better word have been very pleasant. I like my new friends. Even the ones who may take issue with me have given me something though they may not know it. I know some of us have some big problems to deal with and like Tami said how does anyone know until they've walked in our shoes? I hope I haven't missed anything in my planning.....you never know..... but if I did and when it comes I will kick it's ass. kp

Hi Vanessa, It's been forever since I've been on here...hi all! I have no regrets whatsoever, but totally agree that EXTENSIVE counselling should be REQUIRED prior to surgery...and have always been vocal about that!! I took it upon myself to seek the counselling for a couple years before surgery, in order to prepare myself to no longer hide behind those rolls of fat.....and I've been very thankful I did. Massive weight loss changes a person, even though they may insist "I'm the same me on the inside", it's simply not possible. One needs to be prepared to adjust to the "new them", and so does their spouse and other family members. I don't know if there is any one way to prepare, as it affects people differently. I have had several people inquire about WLS, and I warn them its not for everyone, and share my opinion that intensive pre-counselling should be required. You need to have a firm grasp on who you are before wls, and be conscious and accepting of who you will become. I know I changed in ways I could never have imagined..and generally in good ways. At 3+ years post-op I have adjusted to a point where I hardly remember "the year of change" . I made myself watch Biggest Loser in order to remember how hard I worked, and how far I came....and how far I don't want to regress! Last night as we were watching the finals, my daughter commented "wow, that person's transformation was just like you, mom"....she remembers more vividly than me!! As I struggle to stay a thin person, I guess I will always need to have a counselor in mind if I need one. Kathy Anderson...the long lost sheep

Van so glad to hear from you again. I have followed this board for 3 years daily, and I feel as if I personally know most of the people here. I miss the ones who stopped posting such as Terri and Jen and Pamela R. to name a few. I also feel the same things that most of you go through although not the marriage break-up. I agree that after the honnymoon session you pretty much are on your own. You don't live in the glory of the compliments anymore either. Seeing a therapist for the transition is a great idea if I can find one that can help . I do go here for the needed support and my surgeon office has a strong support system that I use. I have NO REGRETS and LOVE my life after WLS even with the emotional adjustment that I have overcome. Part of my therepy is to stay busy by volunteering and exercising. Too much time on my hands will put me into a depression and start the bad habits that I now recognize got me in to trouble through the years. I hope you find the answer you are seekiing to get you back on the healthy journey that you started 3 years ago. Take care, Janice

I don't regret the surgery. I did major research for 3 years and talked to several people first hand about the surgery and its effects, mentally and physically. Are things different on this side of WLS? Of course, but that will happen with any major change in your life. With anything that you do in your life or even plan to do, you won't know how you're gonna really handle it until you get there. How many experiences have we had, where hindsight has been 20/20? But, overall I did it for my health....I knew the risks on my mind and my body, as much as I could have possibly known. I look at it this way....there are things that I have subjected my mind and my body to, that in comparison , should have left me worse off than this surgery ever could. There's my 2 cents. Take care.

I have NO regrets either, and luckily midwest bari\atrics in Neenah, WI. requires alot of preop stuff. I had to spend an entire day at the hospital spending extensive time with the nutritionist, the physcial trainer, the bariatric co ordinator, I was also required to attend at least one support group meeting and have a psych evaluation all to be done pre op. I also did months of reading and scouring the net for my own personal welafre, and also talked one on one with outher WLS people both Banded & RNY. but I DO agree, alot of dr's are doing this without enough pre op education.