To tell or not to tell.....

Tonight I went to our annual fundraiser. I saw many people that I haven't seen since last year, and I got a lot of compliments Some people came right out and asked...."What did you do? How did you lose all that weight?". (I had surgery in March and have lost 104 lbs.) I came up with MY perfect answer.....I had bariatric surgery, so now I'm really watching what I eat and exercising. I'm bringing this up because most of the people in my support group say they won't tell people that they had surgery. I think (and this is just MHO, and what is right for me. I know it's not for everyone) that obesity is a disease, and I took steps to treat it. I'm not embarassed and I don't care if people think I took the easy way out. I do think I have a responsibilty to educate the "thin folks" about why people choose surgery and how it can help. If everyone denied it and pretended they lost 100+ lbs. from diet and exercise alone, then this myth will never be disproved. Again, this is what I chose to do, and maybe those of you that are deciding what to tell people that they see during the holiday season will consider my opinions. Brenda

right on! i don't throw it in people's faces but if they notice or ask, i explain. i tell them it saved my life and i'm grateful and that now i have to work at it as it's not just a free pass. i have a responsibility to myself. to be happy, to be honest and to be proud. I owe a lot of thanks to my Dr. in South Florida who did the bypass, to Dr. Schuhknecht here in Michigan who's taken care of me and did my plastics and to my friends and loved ones who supported me and helped me... but it wasn't easy, i worked, DAMN HARD to get to where i am today and i'm proud of it.

Did you go to the slide show Just Jane posted about on the RNY forum? Your surgeon (first one) is on there. Raul Rosenthal, right? It's a pretty good bit of info. I'm glad I listened to it. I'm glad I had it too. I'm glad I have friends like Jay. kp

no i never saw that. can you give me a link? yes that's my surgeon. the 2nd one. He easily did what many surgeons, including the first one who bailed in the middle of surgery, said could not be done, and as a result, saved my life.

found it. thanks!

I tell for the following reasons: 1. I too am not embarrassed. 2. I realize that those who think I took the easy way out are not apt to change their opinions no matter what I tell them, so I really don't care what they think. 3. I know people who don't tell and the buzz behind their backs goes on a lot longer because everyone suspects the "surgery" they had months ago was WLS it's noticed when they eat very little and are losing weight so fast. 4. I mostly do it for other overweight people. I've had a few folks who are considering surgery ask me a lot of questions regarding the surgery and life after surgery. I tell them the good and bad things, suggest they visit this website, and tell them to find a good experienced doctor and ask the doctor questions. Everyone zero's in on "how great I look", but I tell them having the surgery is the best thing I ever did for myself. No more high blood pressure, I am able to keep up with everyone when we go sightseeing or shopping (no more stopping to rest). Now I can dance (not good), ride a bike, walk up hill to the lake in the summer, fit in a seat everywhere (restaurant, plane, etc). My surgery was 2 1/2 years ago and some friends remind me that complications can arise years later (sometimes I think these negative folks would like to see something go wrong, so they can say "I told you so"). I've very serious when I tell them I feel wonderful but if something should happen, I have no regrets because the quality of my life is so much better. Also, nothing will go wrong, and I see my doctor regularly........so there!

Brenda, I get similar inquiries. I tell the truth ....am no where near ashamed like I was when I was 'MORBIDLY OBESE'....heck, you'd not find me at any party then. I am proud of where I am, and am proud of the work I have achieved, and am happy to tell anyone who asks my story. Course, it may take a while..........tee hee....but they don't mind!! The one thing I mention for my own sake, is why I did it. "I WAS SICK AND TIRED OF LOOKING IN THE MIRROR BEING SICK AND TIRED, A COUCH POTATO, VERY SICK, AND TIRED OF NOT HAVING A LIFE TO LIVE".......so, I fixed it. I'm proud of you Bren, for saying what you did. YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!!!!! Stacey W 310/147

I'm with you! Tell all, I say. This educates people, and the ones that are contimplating surgery but don't know anyone to ask about it?....they have a lifeline! Many have asked me about mine and I have been honest and upfront about it. Three of them have had it and are very happy and healthy today! And anyone that thinks it's "the easy way out" are out of their minds! I'd like to see them do this! Thanks for speaking out Brenda...it's important! Hugs and Merry Christmas! Theresa

Good for you Brenda!! I too tell anyone who asks Most just say oh really when they are told, and will come back later with questions about it. Every now and then I will tell someone who says "Oh my so and so had that surgery and they gained all their weight back!" And to them I just express that surgery is not the "answer" but a tool and not everyone realizes it is not a fix all. The ones that ask how I am doing I know just want to know how fat I was to begin with and I proudly tell them that I have lost 130 BUT that I still have another 70 to go. Keep being honest and educating those that don't know Jennifer 355/223/150

I have told some people, but not everyone, especially the ladies in my DAR group....they caused me stomach problems, and when I first had the surgery, I just said my weight loss had to do with my stomach - not being able to eat as much - which is true!!